In this day and age, it seems like a constant struggle to find new ways of expressing how you fancy someone. Bit like what Flaubert said, theres really nowt you can say that hasnt been said before or turned into a nasty cliche.

In the middle of the 90s, two geniuses, Robert and Rodney, a.k.a R Kelly and Bounty Killer came up with a great new one. At first R Kelly cant really put his finger on it, hes like wait, you remind me of something and then the epiphany comes

Girl, you remind me of my jeep

R Kelly You Remind Me Of My Jeep

So R Kellys jeep is 15 years old? He doesnt stop at the cars for metaphors, she even reminds him of his bank account too (girl, if you reminded me of my bank account youd probably be empty). On a ragga tip, Bounty Killers car song, Benz & Bimma is a 90s dancehall classic, where he actually compares a girls face to a car.

Gal you have the face and the figure,
Remind of the Benz and the Lexxus and the Bimma

Bounty Killer Benz & Bimma

But Rodney and Robert werent the only ones getting cars and girls confused. Just this month the S-Class Riddim dropped, featuring a toppa top automobile anthem from Vybz Kartel: Benz Punanny. This could be the best girls/cars comparison of all time.

Gal your punanny match me car

Vybz Kartel Gimme D Benz Punanny

His girl is expensive like my S-Class, and he even calls her a taxi pum pum. Not sure what that means, but to a Londoner, thats endless chat and 50 pound surcharge if you vomit.

In other car songs, theres Macka Diamonds horrific country song Lexxus & Benz, and T.O.Ks Good Like Gold (Gal youre exotic like a Testarossa).

So Macka drives a Lexxus Harrier, Vybz drives an S-Class, Mr Vegas drives a Bimma (if hes found his keys), and apparently Laden drives a Honda Civic. Awww.