I have been reading your column since I was a little girl. I've seen you give advice to others and now I'm in need of it myself.
I am in my early 20s and I plan on getting baptised. I recently met this wonderful man and he is everything I am looking for in a man, (honest, loyal, loving). He doesn't pressure me for sex because I don't believe in sex before marriage. He had asked me to marry him but I said no because of the short period of time that we have known each other.
The other problem is that my family and friends know about him but don't know how old he is. He is 50. My sisters have spoken to him and find him to be a nice person but I still haven't told anyone how old he is because of how I think they will react. Another issue is that he was married once but his wife cheated on him for almost 15 years and now he is divorced.
What I want to know is, can you marry a person if their former spouse is still alive? Would it be frowned upon by God? I humbly await your reply.
S.W.
Dear S.W.,
The issues that are tormenting your mind are one, whether a 50-year-old man is too old to marry a woman who is in her early 20s. Some would say, yes, he is too old. Others would disagree. My answer is, any woman who is in love with a man that age, and is willing to tolerate his jealousy, should not allow anybody to discourage her from doing so. On the other hand, such a man should remember that the time may come when he may not be able to satisfy his wife sexually and if she is not a faithful and godly Christian, she may cheat.
Your second concern is about divorce and re-marriage. I believe that the Bible gives permission for divorce and re-marriage. However, many Christians and churches do not support divorce and re-marriage; therefore, it is up to your own conviction.
God will not condemn any divorced person who has re-married, I believe.
If you love this man, do not to worry whether your relatives will look down on the relationship because of his age. You are old enough to do what you wish to do.