Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana . Heperforms underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an e-mailhe sent to his sister. She then sent it to a radio station who wassponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.
Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had abad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so Ithought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not sobad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first mustbore you with a few chnicalities of my job.
As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to theoffice. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So whatwe do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial waterheater. This $20,000 piece of equipment *u*ks the water out of the sea. Itheats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diverthrough a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds likea darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.
WhatI do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose andstuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warmwater. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. With in a fewseconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, butthe damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot watermachine had *u*ked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since Idon't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what Ithought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crackof my butt.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. Hisinstructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five otherdivers, were all laughing hysterically.
Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make threeagonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes beforeI could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When Iarrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my bra** helmet. As Iclimbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running downhis face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt assoon as I got in the chamber.
The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because mybutt was swollen shut.. So, next time you're having a bad day at work,think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved upyour butt. Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job,I love my job.'
Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day? May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!