A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and the talk turns to their adventures. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg leg, a hook, and an eye patch. "How did you end up with the peg leg?" he asks.
The pirate replies, "I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. As my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off."
"Wow!" says the seaman. "What about your hook?"
"Well," answers the pirate, "we were boarding a ship when one of the enemy hacked off my hand."
"Incredible!" says the seaman. "Howd you get the eye patch?"
"A sea gull shit in my eye," the pirate replies.
"You lost your eye to a sea gull shitting on you?" the seaman asks.
"Well," says the pirate, "it was my first day with the hook."