1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?

(Because they are plugged into a genius)

 

2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?

(They don't have enough time) 

 

3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?  

 ( They don't stop to ask directions)

 

4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?

( Because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock) 

 

 

5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?

(So they won't hump women's legs at c**ktails parties)

 

6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?

 (You need a rough draft before you make a final copy)

 

7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?

(Dont know.....it never happened)

 

(Cmon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!)

 

And the personal favorite:

 

8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?

(Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)

 

Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face   and laughter in your heart...Then you are just an old sour fart !

 

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-shirt Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'

 

'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'

 

He yelled back, ' University of Oklahoma .'

 

And they say blondes are dumb...

 

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A couple is lying in bed. The man says,

 

'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.'

 

The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...'

 

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'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'

 

'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.

 

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Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?

 

A: A rumor

 

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 Dear Lord,

 

I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.

 

AMEN

 

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Q: Why do little boys whine?

 

A: They are

practicing to be men.

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Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?

 

A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

 

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Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

 

A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual.'