A Jamaican ginnal named Countafeit is out playing football, and gets hit when an opponent powerfully kicks the ball straight into his crotch.
 
Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground. As soon as he could manage, he took himself to a Doctor and asked, 'How bad is it Doc? Mi goin' on mi honeymoon nex week and mi fiancée is still a virgin in every way.' The Doctor told him, 'I'll have to put your 'thing' in a splint to let it get better and keep it stable. It should be alright by next week.'
 
So he took four wooden tongue depressors, made a neat four-sided splint, wired it all together and Countafeit was all set now.
 
Countafeit mentions none of this to his fiancée Puncie. They get married and head off on their honeymoon, with Countafeit having professed to Puncie that he is also a virgin
 
That night in the hotel room, she rips open her blouse to reveal a gorgeous pair of breasts. This was the first time he was actually seeing them.
 
She said, 'You are the first, no man has ever touched these breasts.' She then removes her panties to reveal her 'treasure', and again declares, 'You are the first, no man has ever been there'.
 
Countafeit then whips off his pants and says, 'Yuh t'ink dat a nutten? look yah, my own still inna di CRATE!'