A Jamaican country doctor running a clinic in Mocha wanted to take a day off work to go to Kingston, so he called his dispenser to take over.

'Obediah, Ah have fi go a Kingston today, Ah want you to keep the clinic open, in case any patients come in. You t'ink you cyan handle it?'

'Yes, sah, yes sah!' answered Obediah, thrilled to be put in charge.

The following day the doctor returned to work. He asked Obediah, 'So how t'ings went yesterday?'

'I had was to treat t'ree patients,' said Obie proudly.
De fuss one seh 'im have a bad 'eadache, so mi give 'im two Tylenol.

De second one seh 'im belly a hot him bad, bad, so mi give him some Maalox.

'Good work, good work,' said the doctor, ' And de t'ird patient?'

'Well, sah, suddenly dis ooman bust inna de door. And she tear off all she clothes sah! Me seh, every last piece of she clothes, sah. An' she jump up on the examination table, lie down and spread her legs dem. Den she shout out, 'Help mi! Fi five years now mi never see any man!''

'Lawd, god man.' exclaimed the doctor, 'Is weh you do?'

'Mi put drops inna her eye dem.' replied Obie proudly.