A teacher asksher class, 'If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot oneof them, how many will be left ?' She calls on little TONY.

He replies, 'None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot.'

The teacher replies, 'The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.'

Then little TONY says, 'I have a question for YOU.'

'Thereare 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicatelylicking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second isgobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off thetop of the ice cream. Which one is married ?'

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, 'Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.'

To which Little TONY replied, 'The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on,' but I like your thinking.'


LITTLE TONY ON MATH

Little TONY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.

'Why?' asks the father ?

'The teacher asked, 'How much is 2x3,' ' I said '6', replies TONY.

'But that's right !' says his dad.

'Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2 ?'

'What's the f**king difference ?' asks the father.

'That's what I said !'

LITTLE TONY ON ENGLISH

LittleTONY goes to school, and the teacher says, 'Today we are going to learnmulti-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of amulti-syllable word ?'

TONY says, 'Mas-tur-bate.'

Miss Rogers smiles and says, 'Wow, little TONY, that's a mouthful.'

Little TONY says, 'No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob.'

LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR

LittleTONY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to go tothe bathroom. He yelled out, 'Miss Jones, I need to take a piss !!'

Theteacher replied, 'Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use in thissituation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.' Please usethe word 'ur-i-nate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you togo.'

Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says, 'You're an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN !'

LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR

Oneday, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show ofhands from those who could use the word 'beautiful' in the samesentence twice.

First,she called on little Suzie, who responded with, 'My father bought mymother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.'

'Very good, Suzie,' replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.

'My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully.'

She said, 'Excellent, Michael !' Then the teacher reluctantly called on little TONY.

'Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, 'Beautiful, just f**king beautiful !''

LITTLE TONY ON GETTING OLDER

Little TONY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another.
Afterthe 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, 'Son, you knoweating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rotyour teeth, and make you fat.'

Little TONY replied, 'My grandfather lived to be 107 years old.'

The man asked, 'Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time ?'
Little TONY answered, 'No, he minded his own f**king business.''