A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it since the thief was spending much less than his wife did.

Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa a Man doesn'tknow his wife until he marries her?Dad: That happens in every country, son.

Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; then it was too late.

A man placed an advertisement in the classifieds: "Wife wanted."The next day he received a hundred letters.They all said the same: "You can have mine."

A woman was telling her friend, "I made my husband a Millionaire.""And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend."A billionaire." she replied.

It's not true that married men live longer than single men.It only seems longer.

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can ask for whatever he wants, but his mother-in-law gets double of what he gets.The man thinks for a moment and says," Okay, give me a million dollars and beat me till I'm half dead."

First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive ^^^^