Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy." The blind man replies, "If you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut the hell up!!
Blowjobs A survey was conducted with a thousand men to try and establish why men like blow jobs so much.
5% said that they like the feel of their cock in a womans moist mouth
20% said that they like the domination they have over their woman
and 75% said that they like the 5 minutes of peace and quiet.
Mad Husband: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger? Wife: I clean the toilet bowl. Husband: How does that help? Wife: I use your toothbrush.
Pregnant When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!". I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy". "I know", she replied, "but what's growing in your butt?"