A couple was dressed and ready to go out for the evening. They
turned on a night light, turned on the phone answering machine,
covered their pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard.

They phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi
arrived and the couple opened the front door to leave their house.
The cat they had put out into the yard scoots back into the house.

They don't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries
to eat the bird. The wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes
inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, the man in hot pursuit.

Waiting in the cab, the wife doesn't want the driver to know the house
will be empty for the night. She explains to the driver that her
husband will be out soon. "He's ! just going upstairs to say good-bye to my
mother."

A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab."Sorry I took so
long," he says as they drive away. "Stupid b*t*h was hiding under the bed.
Had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to
take off so I grabbed her by the neck. Then I had to wrap her in a blanket
to keep her from scratching me. But it worked. I hauled her fat ass down-
stairs and threw her out into the back yard!"