A newspaper was running a competition to discover the most
high-principled, sober, well-behaved local citizen. Among the entries came
one which read:

"I don't smoke, touch intoxicants or gamble. I am faithful to my wife and
never look at another woman. I am hard-working, quiet and obedient. I never
go to the Movies or the theater, and I go to bed early every night and rise
with the dawn. I attend chapel regularly every Sunday without fail.

"I've been like this for the past three years. But just wait until next
spring, when they let me out of here!".