DON'T you just wish there were simple ways that you could tell just what your man is thinking or saying without taking his word for it? Well, since it is believed that people communicate 90 per cent of their intentions through body language, it pays to know a thing or two. We already know that men don't always say what they mean and it is sometimes up to you to figure it out, so this week, All Woman provides some tips on how to demystify that male behaviour and learn just what he's trying to tell you through his body language.
Sex therapist Dr Sidney McGill, who has done studies on body language, while sanctioning the points below, warned however, that differences in body language may mean something different for different persons.
"Many of the tips are actually true most of the time but understanding male behaviour is much more than body language and verbal dialogue. The average Joe Blow who is heterosexist is controlled by his testosterone and socio-cultural views of masculinity. His body language when relating to women is usually predictable. But your own expectations such as "I desperately want a man" or "I'll make him work for his meal" can be communicated to the man who picks up on your subtle energies. Subtle energy seems to contribute to many phenomena not currently explained by conventional science -- phenomena such as heart-based intuition and gut feeling. A friend's advice on his body language, especially if he/she knows him, can help to confirm or disconfirm your ideas on his body language. A wiser, and most times older man can seem very interested in you when he is just being nice."
He said knowing what a person's body language means can be learnt over time. Therefore, get to know your man before judging.
He is flirting with you
It is believed that men do not usually listen to, touch, or look into the eyes of women they are not interested in. So if he looks into your eyes occasionally while you are both engaged in conversation, touches you on the arm or on the small of your back, and appears relaxed while doing it, then he is flirting with you.
He's interested in you
If you are seeing him for the first time and he looks at you, raises an eyebrow, stands up straight, smiles, and faces you head-on, then you definitely have his attention. If he instinctively begins to adjust his appearance -- adjusts his tie, fixes his hair, etc -- when you notice him, he is officially letting you know that he is interested.
He's not interested in you
While a man who is interested will subconsciously position himself in the direction to face you, if his face, legs and feet are pointing away from you, then he is expressing a subconscious desire to keep a distance. This is a sure-fire sign that he's not interested.
He wants you for a friend, not a lover
If he does not hesitate to look at other women while in your presence, and adjusts his body language for them and not for you, then he's telling you that you're not date-worthy and he only wants the two of you to be friends.
He's interested in more than just sex
How much a man is interested in you will definitely come out during and after sex. If he is attentive during sex and takes his time in trying to please you, then rest assured, he is interested in more than just the sex. The same remains true if he is not an experienced lover, so do not make excuses for him. If he is really attracted to you, he will maintain eye contact during sexual intercourse. Men don't engage in foreplay, touch, or stare you straight in the eyes if they're not attracted to you.
He's not attracted to you
If he looks away when you look at him during sex, doesn't want to touch you afterward, or pulls away when you approach him, then there is no future in that relationship. He is not into you.
He's not in the mood to talk
If you are trying to have a conversation with your man and he is looking down or away with crossed arms and legs or his jaws tighten, he is simply not in the mood for conversation. Leave the discussion for some other time when he is open to it.
He wants to commit
If he looks into your eyes while having 'that talk' about where the relationship is going, his chest sticks out, voice doesn't crack and he holds you firmly while remaining relaxed and balancing himself on one foot, then he's embracing the moment and is confident of what he wants -- you.
He is needy and unsure
A slouched posture coupled with twitching, fidgeting, and/or needy embraces says that he is either not sure, afraid of being rejected, or desperate to have you in his life. Is this the type of man you want?
He is intimidated by you.
If he avoids eye contact completely while in a conversation, he is either trying to avoid you or he is feeling intimidated by you.
You turn him on
If his pupils become enlarged while looking at you, that means he's being turned on by you.