IN everything we do there is reason or motivation. Flirting is once such act that we engage in with clearly defined goals and objectives, chief of which is to signal romantic interest in the opposite sex.

Researchers Perper & Fox, 1980 posited five steps flirters go through during the initial contact. See if you can identify with the researchers as you reflect on your own flirting experience. These steps they claim can take place within the space of an hour.

Step 1: The approach

The saying, "Our eyes met across the crowded room", is perhaps true in this regard as the woman walks in and scans the room. She will then "pree" the guy who grabs her interest. Soon they make eye contact and he starts moving towards her.

Step 2: Talk

Upon approaching her he makes the first move to engage her in conversation. By this time they are side by side. He will ask a question that requires an answer from her. If she responds favourably he will have received the green light. He then proceeds with small talk. If she fails to respond, the process could end prematurely.

Step 3: Swivel and turn

After minutes of light conversation the flirters begin to display interest in one another. One person will swivel and turn to the other and then the other party will respond accordingly. Soon the side by side posture gradually shifts to face to face as the conversation deepens.

Step 4: Touch

As they go seemingly into a world of their own, the woman will "accidentally" touch the man's hand as she contains herself as she laughs at a witty comment that he makes. She may even attempt to remove a piece of loose thread from his shirt. By this time they enter the "personal zone" and a subtle touch as they engage in conversation is acceptable.

Step 5: Synchronisation

By this time there is unison in movement. So if they are seated at a table they will pick up their glasses at the same time and place them down as if rehearsed. Body language becomes quite strong as the flirters' synchronised movements indicate that there is chemistry between them both.

At the end of the process they may choose to end it there, if the exercise was nothing more than an ego-boosting exercise, or they may choose to take it to the next level. Some persons have been known to meet their soul mates out of a flirting episode.

A word of warning though, like they say about drinking and driving, flirt responsibly. Flirting under the influence of alcohol could spell disaster.