A wife catches her husband masturbating under the shower and approaches him. The husband: - Oh dear, it was so dirty that I had to rub it so hard... it almost hurts!
While making love, he says: - Darling, let's do 68! - 68??? What's that? - You do it to me and I'll owe you one.
Wife and husband have bought condoms with different flavours. - Darling, I will turn off the light, put one on and you guess the flavour. As soon as he turns off the light, she takes it in the mouth and says: - Gorgonzola! - Wait, it is not on yet.
Two friends: - Tonight I am going to organize a group sex session in my apartment. Do you want to come? - Of course! How many people are coming? - Three, if you bring your girlfriend.
A little boy asked his mother: - Mummy, why are you white and I am black? - Dont even ask me that, when I remember that party..., you are lucky that you dont bark.
One woman stops a taxi. - To the airport, please. After ten minutes the taxi driver, watching the woman in the mirror, says: - You are third pregnant woman that I have driven to the airport today. - Are you kidding me, I am not pregnant. - Well, you havent arrived to the airport yet neither.
One man calls emergency: - Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom! After five minutes, the same man calls back: - It is OK, I found another one.
Pinocchio talks to Gepetto: - Daddy my dick is all jagged and crooked so I have no success with girls. - You know, my son, I didnt care too much about that detail, but that should not be a problem. Go to the shop, take a sandpaper and fix it. After some time, Gepetto asks Pinocchio: - Well, did you resolve the problem with the girls? - Daddy, since I got the sandpaper who needs the girls anymore.
Wife and husband have bought condoms with different flavours. - Darling, I will turn off the light, put one on and you guess the flavour. As soon as he turns off the light, she takes it in the mouth and says: - Gorgonzola! - Wait, it is not on yet. um...what??? whats a gorgonzola...?