Jamaican lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they

aren't prepared for the answer.



In a trial in Brown's Town a prosecuting attorney called his first
witness, a grand mother, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and
asked,

Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded; "Why, yes me know you, Mr. Williams Me know you since
you was a pickney, and frankly, you is a big disappointment to yuh family.
You lie, you cheat on yuh wife, you manipulate people and talk bout dem
behind dem back.

You tink you is a big shot when you no have the brains to realize
yuh never be more dan a two-bit paper pusher.. Yes, me know you!."
The Lawyer was stunned!
Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked,
"Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why yes, me know Mr Brady since him was a likkle
bwoy too. Him lazy, bigoted, an him always under him whites.

Him cyaan build a normal relationship with no one and him law
practice is one of the wuss in de entire island. Pon top a dat, him cheat on
him wife with three different woman. One of dem was your missis. Yes, me
know him well"
The defense attorney almost died of embarra**ment.

The judge ordered both counselors to approach the bench, and in a
very quiet tone of voice, said; "If either of you bastards b*m*o claut ask
her if she knows me, I'll throw your ra** claut in jail for contempt." ,