News Flash...Yellow Fever Outbreak...

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Topic: News Flash...Yellow Fever Outbreak...

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Date: 16:50 08/25 2008

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It has been reported that there has been a terrible outbreak of Yellow Fever (disambiguation). This particular strain is sometimes known as the American Plague. The outbreak started in Beijing, the Bird's Nest Olympic stadium to be exact, however sources have linked its origin to the tiny island of Jamaica in the Caribbean Sea.

The virus seems to have been transmitted by a set of Jamaican athletes participating in the Beijing Olympics in particular one by the name of Usain Bolt. At first the virus infected 91,000 people a few days ago but it is a quickly spread to millions of persons worldwide. The symptoms include:
·        Spontaneous & uncontrollable dancing fits especially Nuh Linga & Gully Creeper
·        The need to wear yellow clothing & wave Jamaican flags
·        Screaming uncontrollably at your TV
·        Shock, awe & speechlessness
Many victims have become crazed and can be seen running on the streets all over Jamaica acting like they have just won a 100m race at the Olympics in 9.69 seconds.

Although most victims suffer from these symptoms it does seem to have different effects on some persons in particular Americans, these include:
·        Badmind
·        Grudgefulness
·        Envy
·        A general uncontrollable hating of all things Jamaican
Additionally, American victims seem to be unable to grasp many things such as batons and the fact that people can actually run fast without performance enhancing drugs.

So far scientists have been unable to find a cure and it is feared that the entire world will be infected in a matter of days. The long term prognosis is not good either, as it is feared that there is another generation of Jamaican athletes that have this deadly virus in their system and will be unleashing it on the world in even more record doses.

The only hope anybody has, to remain immune, is to stop watching television (except for NBC), stay off the internet and move as far away from civilized, rational humans as they can, in some remote underdeveloped, mentally retarded place such as the USA.

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