THIS JOKE IS ACTUALLY A TRUE STORY

Like a certain song we like says: I got a call to-day-a-aya-aya...
Yep, that's what I got.

I was walking the mall a few hours ago, stressing mi nerves because a certain batta foot seamstress, flop mi program, when I got a call from a good friend out there in Massachusetts. For the sake of the mad ooman's privacy, follow mi and call har Sharon. Yeah...Sharon sound good. Typical Jamaican name. Before mi get down inna Sharon labrish, let me mention that she was told by me that I would write bout this little episode on the site. She actually loved the idea, and claim say she want feedback.

Where was I? Oh yes...still at the mall being ticked, as I am probably the only female in the universe that hate to shop. I was hungry, uncomfortable, and fatiqued...until mi phone ring. That in itself was strange, as I never get service in that mall, unless mi stan up inna a certain spot upstairs inna Macys, between DKNY and Tommy.

Mi wicked don't??? I am prolonging this suh unno can wait fi the juice. Unno too fass man!!

Anyway...I answered the phone to hear what this crazy woman wanted. Before mi coulda even say hello...all I heard was this screaming, hollering, and what sounded like pots, pans etc...I said 'hello', kinda coward like, because by now mi a wonda if a earthquake deh a Massachusetts and mi neva hear bout it. Anyway...about a furlong length of expletives could be heard coming out of Sharon's mouth...then, a door slam...then silence.

By now me squeeze pon the bench next to the white lady inna the mall and hold a seat...this one was going to be good. And long...
Lord...a who tick off Sharon now?

Suddenly, mi out a breath friend scream inna the phone...Shilo, a goin kill Tony not fi him real name either r***!!!
She was blabbering, swearing and screaming on the top of her lungs. I let her screech...then when she was gasping for air, I said...You goin to tell mi what a gwaan, or yu want fi wait till yu calm down?...What got me was...how she find time fi dial my number while har man a run out the door with half of the wares and the utensils from the kitchen after im head back...

The conversation between me and mi mad fren became so...so...mi can't find a word...till the woman next to me pon the bench, scrape up har belongings and go cross the way to the next bench. She jus did fi move...too damn fass to.

Story Come To Bump!!!
Sharon and Tony moved from Florida about a year after I did to go live in Massachusetts. While in Florida, Tony was messing around with this girl name Lila alias again that lived right there in Plantation. Sharon didn't like Lila the liar, because she was a home wrecker. I often told Sharon that Lila didn't owe her anything. Stop blaming Lila for the problems in your relationship, and talk to Tony. Tony is the man you live with...Lila is on the outside...who knows what Tony has been telling this other woman. Sharon wouldn't listen, and buss poor Lying Lila backside pon the regular, then Tony would come home and buss hers in Lila's defense. What a piece a almshouse!!!
They eventually moved to MA, after Sharon had their third baby, and decided she was leaving him for good.

She left with the kids...Tony followed.
So did Lila...last month!!!
What a passa passa...
Sharon just find out. How?

Tony fessed up...nope...not voluntarily. Im tell har inna the laundry room after the baby picture fall out of im shirt pocket. To daddy...Love...Tony Jr. (not the baby real name, mi nuh that wicked) two months old!!!

Sharon had called Tony's cell after finding out about the son he always wanted and told him...come home NOW!!!

Emergency with one of their (3) daughters. Of course, Tony, being the wonderful dad he is, run every red light inna Springfield to get to his family. When confronted, he admitted to loving Lila, loving Sharon, loving his (4) children, and moving Lila (while still pregnant to come live 'roun the road). Sharon of course, lost her mind and start to rant and rave round the house.

After an hour of the milee, she dialed my number to complain to me, and Tony, being ticked off that he can't have his cake happily and eat it too, yelled to Sharon...mi gone to mi son, call mi when yu calm down. Lord have mercy...a who tell him fi say that. Every pot, pan, knife, and plate fly after Tony. Only the dustpan ketch im.

What a drama!!!

Now, I had to shop and council mi poor heart broken friend at the same time. I didn't even know what to say. All mi know is I never liked that boy. Im head back too long. But so is his pocket. Sharon and Lila, and countless others that neither of them know about love the depth of his pocket. He gives them all their little hearts desire, so they put up with all sort a crap.

I am supposed to be writing this so when Sharon read it, she can get an idea of what to do...or what should have been done. I however, don't want to give any advice. I am too close to the situation. I can't get into it. All I can do is listen.
I will say however...beating up another woman is not going to let a man stay with you.

If he is going to move another woman all the way cross bout five state lines...he obviously cares a lot for this person. If a man is going to beat on you because you beat on his other woman...hummm...maybe you the other woman, not her. Sharon gal...I will leave this one alone...
I told you I would.

If I get any emails regarding your plight, I will forward them to you. I do feel your pain, but I think you need to just call it a day and look out for you and yours.
Tony is...not to mention Lila!!!

People...what do y'all think???
Sharon is waiting...