Irrespective of what most of you 'erudite' individuals think, the language is something that's entrenched in our culture; a fusion a language our ancestors created in order to communicate with the English natives. So why is it suddenly not good enough?

Despite the many poets and writers namely, Louise Bennett-Coverly and Owen 'Blakka' Ellis, who use(d) the language as a conduit to address social issues, why is it still seen as a mere indication of social status or 'dunceness'? Why do most alleged 'authority figures' (most of whom, shockingly know NOTHING of subject verb agreement, and refuse to shield themselves from the wretched horror of trying to speak 'English') attempt to chastise those of us who can seamlessly speak and fuse the two? Isn't it an indication of how fluid we are as reporters and writers? What is the point of writing it in Patois? Going against the proverbial grain. REVOLTING. Mi ah say all dis fi say: COME OFF AH MI PATOIS COLUMN! Nikki Z dem shock mi can talk di standard English don't? Suss time!

NYAMMING AGAIN?

Yes di whole a Majestic Gardens know say a you! Mr Man mi naw tell no lie, mi laugh so till mi nearly drop offah mi settee wha day yah when mi link a buss mi pon di nyamming drama! But den wha mek it wuss, is dat yuh know say yuh a big freak and yuh ah gwaan like di rumour mill a tell lie fi how much years now! But mi like di good deed wha yuh do an pay di bwoy who ketch yuh a nyam di ting $60,000! Mi a tell yuh, Majestic Gardens nuh stop do shopping spree! By di way, yuh see deh threesome vibe deh wha yuh always a bring to yuh foreign moglaz woman; no not P, di next one who come inna Barbee video, it a stress har out deadly!

HOW DI KILLING GO?

Now some a di Spanish Town massive ah ask di question, wha mek dem nevah interested innah di bwoy who dem say wanted fi numerous shootings until now? Ah wha? Ah nevah people him used to shoot before? Ah did fly? An mi a tell yuh say a pure tings a talk. Di whole island soon deh pon lock dung like Mavado party!

HOLY DAGGA-DAGGA-DAGGERING!

Lookyah di one dat leave an go back home, a how deh battafoot gal deh look so? No man! When mi see di pictuh a di backup singah, mi nearly ketch innah spirit! A wha dat? A muss she have di 'Holy Ooku' fi oonu deh fi so much years now! So yuh go a Miami, so she lef go live deh too. So yuh come back dung yah, so she come dung yah too. But wifey nuh feel no way enuh; wi know bout di next 'Holy Sword' pon di side! Ah wah massive, oonu waah mi buss di gospel pon di singer an call him name?

DI MESSAGE AND SO MUCH MORE

Mi well waah come offah deh topic yah; but so mi move on, so she start do sinting else fi mek people wonder if har head good! My girl, yuh cyaan tek a hint? Di ting stink dung a di two radio station dem! A wha kinah message dat bout dem muss 'prepare di bedroom, cause it looks like you'll have to move back home' cause yuh nuh sure wha di people dem up a di spring a do yet?

My girl, ah wuk yuh a try look enuh! Dat deh message deh nuh proppa wid wha juss happen! An why yuh a go waah go inna di same building wid yuh ex man who nevah business wid yuh during oonu alleged relationship when yuh used to wuk deh an him have one next gal innah di same building?

Him nevah business say a you gih him somwhe fi kotch when him juss come a town. Him nevah care when yuh gone inna di spring an him ting start tek off and yuh start call him yuh husband. Him nevah care when yuh a fight an tear out gal hair inna club ovah him and him breed di singer; him nevah business when di tape buss and people a tear up yuh name! So whe yuh a go back dung deh fah? My girl grow up and stop di foolishness inna di working world yaw man; cause people start look pon yuh like yuh head gone!

D'ANGEL BOOTY VIDEO?

D'Angel a wha kinah video dat dem a email roun wid yuh? Wha do some a oonu? Deh time yah di woman nuh do nuttin, but oonu juss a dig fi sinting fi tear har dung. Di woman deh a one party ah enjoy herself and one horny video man start film all part a har. It woulddah bad if when she realise she did still a dance, but she move whe. Bwoy mi a tell yuh babes, hush.

And Nikki Z, mi nuh know bout di Danny English, D'Angel comparison yuh mek a Sex and the City! Lawd Gaaawd! As soon as mi come een, ah dat greet mi ears hole dem!