Dear Mrs Macaulay,
I met a divorced man in March 2001 while he was vacationing in Jamaica. We exchanged phone numbers and began dating almost immediately. He was building a two storey house in Jamaica, during that time. He said he wanted help to oversee the construction. I offered to help and he started sending funds to me to buy materials and engage the services of tradesmen.

In May 2002 I resigned my job to concentrate fully on his business. I also used my personal funds (I have documentary evidence) to help. In July 2003 we became officially engaged. During this time I continued the work on the house. In December 2004 we got married. We kept the visits up both ways in the years following. As of April 2008, the last time he left, we haven't spoken. I don't know where I stand with him. The house is almost complete and I want to know what I am I entitled to. He has a registered title with his sons as joint tenants. What am I entitled to in case of a divorce? Can he legally put me out of the house?

Wow! I hope, in addition to writing to me for information about your possible property rights, that you have also made plans to talk to your husband for both of you to try to save your marriage. This surely should be the matter of priority for both of you and in instances when both parties are upset and angry (you said you both said some hurtful words to each other), one of you has to make the first move and open discussions. The sooner this is done the better, because leaving a festering wound to continue to fester, without any form of treatment, only makes the wound worse and more difficult to cure. Now as to your property interests and rights. It is unfortunate that your did not seek advice before you offered to help him with his construction. You did so, then gave up your job in order to do this full time, of your own volition. You left your home and went to stay in the unfinished premises at his request. In other words you became the "watch-woman" or security guard for his property. You said he told you to finish the ground floor and move there in order to save funds. You did not state whose funds would thereby be saved, but I conclude they were his funds.

Then, madam, without his having asked for a loan from you or even for your financial assistance, you used you personal funds "to help". You did all this without any discussion or arrangement, for him to reward you for your time and work and for him to pay back to you your personal funds which you expended or would have to expend on the construction, nor did he promise to give you an interest in the premises because of your services and contribution to its development.

The property is not solely his. He does not wholly own it. It is held jointly with his sons. Therefore, he could not have given you an interest in the property anyway, without the consent of his co-joint owners, his sons. Did they also know what you were doing about and for the construction? Did your husband ever say anything which led you to believe that he solely and wholly owned the property and that you would benefit from your efforts in assisting him to complete the construction? I think I can answer that in the negative. You would not have failed to say so in your letter to me, if he had done so. So you did all you did of your own free will.

The best you can hope for in the circumstances, is that he repays you what you spent of your own funds on the property with interest and a fair sum for the services your rendered in supervising the construction as you related. If he refuses to do so amicably, then you would have to make a claim in court and seek to show that he (and possibly his sons) caused you to act to your detriment and to suffer the losses you did and that it be ordered that he refund all your expenditures and loses with interest thereon to the date of payment.

You would, of course, be entitled as his wife to maintenance contributions from him.

But, my dear, please try first to save your marriage before going on the road to divorce. Why are you thinking of divorce before trying to mend the friction caused by your arguments during which both of you were at fault and caused each other to be hurt and upset? You know even the law requires on a divorce application, that the petitioner shows that the parties tried counselling to save the marriage before proceeding to legal termination of the marriage. In the time since the arguments in April, you both have had time to assess the value of the marriage. Only when you talk to each other about what happened and show and express remorse will you both know what the marriage means to the other and decide if it is worth saving. Surely you both cannot throw the whole thing away after those arguments, without doing something or seeking help from a marriage counsellor first.

So, please deal with this aspect first and maybe, in the course of such counselling, you should bring up the fact that you feel very insecure about having expended your monies without any security that any refund would be made to you. I am sure that situation you are in because of your actions would cause you to feel bitterness if your husband has not and does not show any gratitude to you for it. This will put a strain on your relationship, so please deal with it in counselling before you go to the issue of claiming and dividing property. One thing though, for goodness sake, I enjoin you all, please spend some money and get some legal advice before you act in the manner related by this wife when you are in or commencing a relationship or even if it is supposedly only between friends, business partners or acquaintances. Any investment of time, money and skills is a valuable asset and can affect property interests and entitlements.

is an attorney-at-law and a women's and children's rights advocate. Send questions and comments via email to allwoman@jamaicaobserver.com or fax to 968-2025. We regret we cannot supply personal answers.