New York, Spanish Town, Portmore, mi get the contract, the editors of One876 Claude Mills and Kriq have asked me to write one suss a day now, but mi no sure mi waan tek on that, it ah go cut inna me shopping and pampering time. People, mi de pon the plaza the other day and one ah dem cricketer bwoy de ah look me and ah spin him SUV key. Dem no know say mi is a girl WHO used to things, weh some yute de when me de wid some heavy man who have stacks of cash packed to the ceiling inna dem house. Wha happen to dem little bait ya?

WARNINGFUNNY MAN ALERT!!
How so much funny man business ah tek over Jamaica? Music promoter ah fondle young bwoy, politician de pon Peter King sex tape, Boys Home supervisor ah fondle little bwoy, and in the middle of all of this, Red Stripe ah bun out dancehall because it ah expose de slackness that is going on.See it, the gays dem run Mavado and Killer outta Guyana because is the AIDS organisation over there ah celebrate dem ban, and now dem music caan play pon air, is like de bwoy dem come fi corrupt everybody, but we nah stop bun dem out, dem haffi go try OBEAH me.

BOUNTY AND MAVADO RADIO BAN
Capitol News reported yesterday evening that monopoly NCN radio has taken the decision to ban the music of Bounty Killer and Mavado from their airwaves. Wah really a gwaan? JUDGMENT!!!

NATS, TIMBERLEE AND TIFA MAKE FADER MAG
We love how Jamaican women are representing to the world. Three of the hottest have made it to the April edition of the FADER magazine in the US. Natalie Storm is on the verge of blowing up because there is a lot of interest being shown by European companies in her fresh new sound. Natalie Storm is getting crazy airplay locally on the Seanizzle riddim "Creepa" with the single "Body Good" but it is the good airplay in England which is causing her myspace page to get a phenomenal number of hits. You can read the Fader article at
http://www.thefader.com/articles/2008/4/16/ghetto-palms-ladies-first

TRUE STORY TO LAUNCH ON MAY 26
Kemars highly anticipated True Story album will be launched during a function at the Hope Gardens on May 6th. The album will feature the hit single, Unfaithful Lover, a top ten hit last year. Big up Rachel Bernard of Royal Concert Productions.

SEAN PAULS ALBUM TROUBLES
Talking about albums, whats the deal with Sean album? The label reject tracks by Don Corleone so Sean go link up with Stephen fi a portion of dem, and now mi a hear say the label no waan those either. What a gwaan? Sean good still, is a jet dem send fi him to travel to Ghana the other day to help launch a mobile telecommunications company inna that country. Sean, yu a still de boss!

TOO MUCH OF DANGEL?
We ah go sick ah DAngel inna this month newspaper, mi caan deal wid the B-list celebrity wannabes who ah get so much coverage inna the paper and dont have no hits fi more than a year now. Show we a picture of Marco Dean if you want to impress me.

BONAFIDE BAND RELEASES SINGLE
Las Vegas based reggae band, Bonafide have a new tune that ah go lock the place. It name 'Sold Out' and mi hear Ron a beat it pon IRIE, but it ah go officially release on May 19 in Jamaica and the world and will be available on ITUNES and other internet sites.

ANIME, DONT DO IT AGAIN
I would like to use this opportunity to ask Anime not to do that sick sh#t again. Mi caan get the image out of my mind, it burned into my brain. Please, never do that again.

SHOUT OUT
Big up Joan Wilson anywhere she de, yu a me real friend. Big up Sharlene, we love how yu a lock down the paper business. How people so feisty ah call it Rapist Fridays because we do stories wid Zebra, Rodrick Reid and Deva Brat?