10. Men do not have Tourette Syndrome

I believe all women suffer from a mild and extremely localized form of Tourette Syndrome. The afflicted organ? Their tongues. Thats why women cannot shut their f**king mouths for ten seconds while adults are speaking around them. Their tongues are battling around in their mouths like drunken Vipers.

9. Men are not sponges

Women are social chameleons or better yet: social vampires. Women walk into a situation and before you know it theyve completely changed their wardrobe and mannerisms as if theyve joined a f**king cult. Men are not sheep. Everyone knows the word for a female sheep is ewe, but what about the male word? There isnt one because sheep is something men are not.

8. Women are racists

Womens entire lives and social circles are based around hatred. Do they hate their boyfriends? Do they hate their wardrobe? Do they hate each other? Yes, yes and f**k definitely. Men dont go in for that silly sort of nonsense. If were dissatisfied, we pick up and move out. Or we take our mighty man muscles and lift f**king mountains so the world looks exactly the way we want it to. Men do more world changing before 9:00 AM than any woman ever has done in her whole life.

7. Men live less than women

The last thing a society needs is a bunch of non-contributing members laying around and sucking all the juice from the young. Men know this so they blast off from birth like shooting man stars burning out ten years faster, but setting the whole night ablaze with manness. Women just kind of lie around like big fat pigs in big fat puddles of shit. Congratulations women. You really earned those rights!

6. Men write illegibly

Writing is stupid and an ineffective way to communicate. Men know this so they dont give a shit about handwriting things with big hoops and loops and squiggles and shit so aliens can read notes about remembering to pick up your birth control pills after 6th period from space.

5. Jesus was a man

Whether or not you believe in Jesus, there is one fact you cant argue with: he was a man. No religion anywhere has ever put a woman in charge of shit. Thats called dogma man-dogma and it means men are better than women.

4. Men wear watches

Do you know why men wear watches? Its because theres a limited amount of time in the day and men need to know how much of it there is so they can efficiently allocate their man ass kicking for the day. Women dont wear watches; they wear bracelets. Women wearing bracelets is like dropping a bus of retarded kids off in front of a taffy pulling machine. They can just stare for hours and never get bored.

A watch says, Get up and go! Move your man ass and take care of your f**king man business! Thats why 60 minutes uses a ticking watch for its theme song. Important shit is going down and were about to talk about it in a f**king fastidious manner, so get the f**k ready, says a ticking watch. A bracelet says, Youre most likely ugly, but look at how much money youre worth! What a joke.

3. Boys destroy things

The only thing that has ever lifted our species out of the trees where we came from is our ability to destroy. Take paper: the cornerstone of the modern world. That was invented because man wanted to destroy trees and beat them into pulp. How about nuclear power? Men invented that too. Men are natural destructors. We pop right out of the man-w**** and start on a life-long tirade of progress by tearing down the Earth with our mighty, man-manly man-fists. Goddammit, thats awesome!

2. Marriage is stupid

Marriage is 100% the fault of women. It was invented by men though! Did you know that? Marriage was invented because women were too busy whoring it out to f**k the only the guy who was paying their rent and feeding their fat asses French bon-bons every day. Men invented marriage as a way of telling women who they could and couldnt f**k. Like everything else men have ever invented, it completely worked and worked way better than any man thought it would. Women became so indoctrinated by the man-invention of marriage that theyre f**king obsessed with it.

Marriage is still stupid. Its a stupid game invented to entertain stupid minds and to teach basic lessons of fidelity that even invertebrates are born with.

1. Men have penises

When it comes to being a man, being quick at identifying problems is tantamount to fixing them. In fact its tantamount-ier. Having a penis in other words looking like a man and having man parts is a mans way of telling other men, Hey. Look at me. Im a man. I wont f**k up whatever it is that youre trying to do. If you need some help, maybe ask me and Ill see if I can lend a man-hand. Its the least I could do to be f**king courteous.

MEN DO U AGREE?!?!?!?.......i sure do

-- Edited by sub0 at 20:02, 2008-04-20