My babyfather got me and another woman pregnant at the same time. The two of us had our babies in the same hospital. I had my baby first and then she had her baby some hours later in the same room that I had my baby. I am really stressed out about this whole situation. He and I were together first and then he met her and moved in with her. He is still with the both of us!

Everytime I tell him that I am leaving because he needs to make a choice he comes running back, asking me to give him time to sort out his life. He wants to control me. He says he loves me but I am so confused. We both work but his other babymother lives on benefits and that's the careless life he wants to live with a woman who has no ambition and just lives off the government.

Pastor, advise me on what to do with this mix-up!

S.B., London, England

Dear S.B.,

You may disagree with me and that will be all right, but I must tell you that you are causing this man to feel that he is a champion and that you don't have any common sense. He had a relationship going with you then he got involved with another woman, impregnated both of you and chose to go and live with the other woman who is unemployed. Can't you see that he had chosen the other woman over you? He may say that he has not, but he has. And what you ought to do is to take steps to prevent him from continuing to make a fool of you. You want him around, so you have not kept your doors locked. You are still hoping that he will leave the other woman and come to you. When do you think that he going to do so? He is enjoying what he can get from the other woman and what you can give to him. He is a liar and a deceiver.

You love him more than you love yourself and until you have come to the place where you realise that he is using you, you will never end the relationship. He has deceived you and the only thing you should allow him to do now is to support his child. I hope God will give you the grace to run him out of your life.

By the way, even if that man should promise you that he will leave the other woman and come to you, you should tell him no because he is not trustworthy.

Pastor