FIRST THINGS FIRST:

IF YUH CAN'T BOTHER WID CHOPSTICKS, f**k IT, USE FORK.

Hold your chopsticks towards their end, and not in the middle or the front third. When you are not using your chopsticks and when you are finished eating, lay them down in front of you with the tip to left. Do not stick chopsticks into your food, especially not into rice. Only at funerals are chopsticks stuck into the rice that is put onto the altar. Do not pass food with your chopsticks directly to somebody else's chopsticks. Only at funerals are the bones of the cremated body given in that way from person to person. Do not spear food with your chopsticks. Do not point with your chopsticks to something or somebody. Do not move your chopsticks around in the air too much, nor play with them. Do not move around plates or bowls with chopsticks. To separate a piece of food into two pieces, exert controlled pressure on the chopsticks while moving them apart from each other. This needs much exercise.