Relationships

Why divorce?

In a divorce court a woman requested the judge: 'Your honor,
I want to divorce my husband.'
'But why?' asked the judge.
She replied, 'Because he is not faithful to me.'
The judge asked, 'How do you know?'
She replied, 'My Lord, not a single child resembles him.'



Love Your Enemy


from his death bed, the husband called
his wife and said,
'One month after I die I want you to marry Sammy.'
'Sammy! But he is your enemy!'
'Yes, I know that! I've suffered all these years so let him suffer now.'


Wedding Ring


At the cocktail party, one woman said to another
arent you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger? '
The other replied, 'Yes I am, I married the wrong man.'



Why?


'Dad, I was away for a week. Yesterday, I sent a fax to my wife I'd be home that
night, and when I got into my room I found my wife in another man's arms.
'Why, Dad? Tell me why!'
Dad kept silent for a few minutes, then coolly said,
'Maybe, Son, she didn't get the fax.'



Same Service



A husband visited a marriage counselor and said, 'When we were
first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would
bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking.
Now after ten years it's all different, I come home, the dog brings
the slippers and my wife runs around barking.'
'Why complain?' said the counselor. 'You're still getting the same service!'



Girl to boy

A girl says to her boyfriend, 'One kiss and I'll be yours forever.'
The guy says 'thanks for the warning'



Question


A Husband Was Asked: 'Do you talk to your wife after sex?'
He replied: 'Depends, If I Can find a Phone'


Man to wife


Man to wife on wedding night:
'Are you sure I'm the first man you are sleeping with?
'Of course honey, I stayed awake with all the others!'



Boy to girl

Boy to girl: 'Darling, I want to marry you. '
Girl: 'But I'm a year older than you'
Boy: 'NO PROBLEM. I'll marry you next year!'



Marriage Secret


Couples had been married for 45 years and had raised a brood of 11 children and were blessed with 22 grandchildren. When asked the secret for staying together all that time, the wife replies, 'many years ago we made a promise to each other: the first one to pack up and leave has to take all the kids.'