Not a sex machine

Dear Pastor,

I have been going out with my boyfriend for about three months. We have known each other for a year-and-a-half. I am 18 and he is 20. I am starting to fall deeply in love with him everyday, more and more. I told him that I love him very much and he told me the same, but sometimes it does not feel that way. Sometimes, he tends to ignore me and I seriously hate it. I want to feel loved all the time and have fun with him.

He treats me really well on some occasions, but when his friends are around, he acts differently. In fact, he acts like a fool. I really wish that he would show me that he really cares for me and treat me the same everywhere we go and no matter who we are around. I never act differently towards him, and he knows that I'm not playing games.

The next thing I hate is that whenever he gets upset with me, he doesn't want to talk to me or even touch me. He gets mad for everything and I don't know what his problem is. If I don't have sex with him the day he wants it, he doesn't call or talk to me for that whole day. We have some good sex on some days, but it's not everyday that I am feeling for it. And furthermore, I told him that I am not a sex machine. I told him why I can't have sex often, but he doesn't want to hear it. I am really trying to make this relationship work. We do have some exciting days together, but not as much as I want it to be. I would be devastated if he were to break my heart.

Pastor, please, tell me how to reach him and break that lock that is around him?





Perhaps this guy doesn't want it to be known that you are his girlfriend, so he gives you the cold shoulder when he is around his friends. Perhaps he feels that you are too possessive and you are not giving him enough space. Young lovers go through all sorts of problems. Some like to touch and hold hands in public while others detest doing so. But these are things that you need to talk about and develop a good understanding with each other.

You need to be careful. You have been having sex with this young man and it seems that if he doesn't have his way, he gets angry. The question that you must ask is this: Is this relationship going anywhere or am I in it just to satisfy my boyfriend's sexual needs? You see, a young man has to learn to respect his girlfriend and not to demand that she has sex with him whenever he pleases. And a woman should bear in mind that she should not allow a man to toy with her body because he may do so and never marry her and when she gets older, she may regret what she did. But by that time, it is too late. So, use your common sense, young lady, and walk carefully.