It's that time of year to take our annual senior citizen test. Exercising your brain is just as important as exercising your muscles. As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it! Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence. Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not. Read each question once (not a hundred times ... the questions arent that hard!) and answer the question. The spaces between the questions and answers are there to stop people with alzheimers from cheating.

OK, relax, clear your mind and begin!



1. What do you put in a toaster?

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No Cheating!!
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Answer: "bread." If you said "toast," give up now and do something else.
Try not to hurt yourself.
If you said, bread, go to Question 2.



2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows drink?

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No Cheating!!
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Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk," don't attempt the next question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Go and watch some cartoons instead.
However, if you said "water", proceed to question 3.



3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?

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No Cheating Damnit!!
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Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "green bricks," why are you still reading these???
If you said "glass," go on to Question 4.



4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany (If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into East Germany and West Germany). Anyway, during the flight, two engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he can do so and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany. Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany, West Germany or "no man's land"?

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No Peeking!!
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Answer: You don't bury survivors silly!
If you said ANYTHING else, you're a dunce and you must stop.
If you said, "You don't bury survivors", proceed to the next question.



5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, 6 people get off the bus and 3 people get on. In Swindon, 2 people get off and 4 get on. In Cardiff, 4 people get off and 6 people get on. In Swansea, 3 people get off and 5 people get on. In Carmathen, 6 people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven. What was the name of the bus driver?

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Stop Cheating!!
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Answer: Oh, for crying out loud!
Don't you remember your own name? It was YOU!!