One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts. He'd toss them in the air, and then catch them in his mouth. In the middle of catching one, his wife asked him a question - and as he turned to answer her, a peanut fell in his ear. He tried and tried to dig it out but succeeded in only pushing it in deeper. He called his wife for assistance, and after hours of trying they became worried and decided to go to the hospital.
As they were ready to go out the door, their daughter came home with her date. After being informed of the problem, their daughter's date said he could get the peanut out. The young man told the father to sit down, then proceeded to shove two fingers up the father's nose and told him to blow hard. When the father blew, the peanut flew out of his ear. The mother and daughter jumped and yelled for joy. The young man insisted that it was nothing.
Once he was gone, the mother turned to the father and said, "That's so wonderful! Isn't he smart? What do you think he's going to be when he grows older?"
The father replied, "From the smell of his fingers, our son in-law."
Two blind men were drinkin at home on the verandah one evening when on feeling "nice" they started an argument and a fight started. they were throwing wild fists everywhere until they grabbed each other up and ended up on the outside. the fight was so intense that they rolled down a little slope where a donkey was tied to feed. During the rolling process their grip on each other was lose. both men were right where the donkey was, first man fisted the donkey right on its back leg and the donkey kicked him flush on the forehead. The poor blind man yelled out to the other. "man yu no hear say we nah fight wid no stone"!!!
a man ans his wife were in bed sleepin one night when the wife (dreaming that her husband was coming home to catch her in bed with her other lover) shouted out, "Quick, my husband is coming, get under the bed"! The husband jumps off the bed, fast as ever and hids under the bed, then says to himself, "shit, I'm the husband"!