YOU look at him, but only from afar. His smile, his presence, his mere existence means everything to you and that is when the decision is made. Slowly you step forward, the excitement mounting in your ears, deafening, as well as blinding your senses. 'I love you' is what you will tell him. Then as he comes close, you notice he is not alone, his arms tightly encircle the waist of the woman beside him and he is smiling and showing his love for her... not you.
There comes a time in life when many of us experience unrequited love.
Loving someone deeply and not having those feelings reciprocated can be tough on anyone, but more especially, women. Some try so hard to get the person they love to be interested in them, to the point where it borders on madness.
How can you deal with this kind of love?
If it's obviously a no-go for example if the object of your affection is married, has a girlfriend or wants nothing to do with you, you should, according to the experts:
Step 1
Accept the fact that he doesn't feel the same way about you. If you continue to believe that there is a chance he will eventually love you, you will never move on.
Step 2
Stay positive. Don't let this situation cause you to have bitter feelings toward finding someone who loves you. It will lead you toward becoming a bitter and unhappy person.
Step 3
Get your mind off of him. Spend more time with friends and family, and surround yourself with those who love and care about you.
Step 4
Remind yourself of your good qualities. Just because one person does not love you does not mean you are not a good person. Remind yourself of that as often as necessary.
Step 5
Go out with someone. It may be difficult at first because your heart may still belong to him, but the worst that could happen is that you meet someone you like to hang out with. You never know, you may meet someone you really like who feels the same way about you.
WHAT YOU SHOULD NEVER DO: THE MEN SPEAK
1. Do not try to solicit the help of the mans family and friends to win him over. That is an instant turn-off.
2. Do not try to push the issue, give the man time to think about whether he really wants a relationship with you. Telling him how much you love him and how good you are together will scare him away and pushy women are annoying.
3. Do not buy presents to win over the persons affection, it may insult them.
4. Do not resort to underhanded schemes in order to get to the person. If you do this, he will not be able to trust you, which makes having a relationship with you out of the question.
5. Do not try to change who you are to be someone you think he would appreciate. Be yourself, you may find that maybe the real you is what he is looking for in the first place.
6. Do not be too desperate. For example, stalking him is a big no-no and he is bound to think that you are more crazy than in love with him.
7. If he is in a relationship already, DO NOT threaten his girlfriend and try to break them apart. You are more likely to make him get turned off from you than into you. Instead, you can bide your time, be their friend and support and if it does not work out for them, then take your chance.
8. Finally, if all else fails, respect that he just does not want to be with you and do your best to try and move on. It might be the best thing for you in the end.
Counselling psychologist Lola Allen Jones says that some women will never be able to move past their unrequited love as they will always try to prove that they are worthy. She says this may cause some women to want to harm themselves, becoming self-destructive. She urges women to spend time looking into themselves and be secure in who they are.
You dont have to seek love, love will find you. Work on yourself, accept who you are and be secure in who you are, says Allen-Jones.
YOU look at him, but only from afar. His smile, his presence, his mere existence means everything to you and that is when the decision is made. Slowly you step forward, the excitement mounting in your ears, deafening, as well as blinding your senses. 'I love you' is what you will tell him. Then as he comes close, you notice he is not alone, his arms tightly encircle the waist of the woman beside him and he is smiling and showing his love for her... not you.
There comes a time in life when many of us experience unrequited love.
Loving someone deeply and not having those feelings reciprocated can be tough on anyone, but more especially, women. Some try so hard to get the person they love to be interested in them, to the point where it borders on madness.
How can you deal with this kind of love?
If it's obviously a no-go for example if the object of your affection is married, has a girlfriend or wants nothing to do with you, you should, according to the experts:
Step 1
Accept the fact that he doesn't feel the same way about you. If you continue to believe that there is a chance he will eventually love you, you will never move on.
Step 2
Stay positive. Don't let this situation cause you to have bitter feelings toward finding someone who loves you. It will lead you toward becoming a bitter and unhappy person.
Step 3
Get your mind off of him. Spend more time with friends and family, and surround yourself with those who love and care about you.
Step 4
Remind yourself of your good qualities. Just because one person does not love you does not mean you are not a good person. Remind yourself of that as often as necessary.
Step 5
Go out with someone. It may be difficult at first because your heart may still belong to him, but the worst that could happen is that you meet someone you like to hang out with. You never know, you may meet someone you really like who feels the same way about you.
WHAT YOU SHOULD NEVER DO: THE MEN SPEAK
1. Do not try to solicit the help of the mans family and friends to win him over. That is an instant turn-off.
2. Do not try to push the issue, give the man time to think about whether he really wants a relationship with you. Telling him how much you love him and how good you are together will scare him away and pushy women are annoying.
3. Do not buy presents to win over the persons affection, it may insult them.
4. Do not resort to underhanded schemes in order to get to the person. If you do this, he will not be able to trust you, which makes having a relationship with you out of the question.
5. Do not try to change who you are to be someone you think he would appreciate. Be yourself, you may find that maybe the real you is what he is looking for in the first place.
6. Do not be too desperate. For example, stalking him is a big no-no and he is bound to think that you are more crazy than in love with him.
7. If he is in a relationship already, DO NOT threaten his girlfriend and try to break them apart. You are more likely to make him get turned off from you than into you. Instead, you can bide your time, be their friend and support and if it does not work out for them, then take your chance.
8. Finally, if all else fails, respect that he just does not want to be with you and do your best to try and move on. It might be the best thing for you in the end.
Counselling psychologist Lola Allen Jones says that some women will never be able to move past their unrequited love as they will always try to prove that they are worthy. She says this may cause some women to want to harm themselves, becoming self-destructive. She urges women to spend time looking into themselves and be secure in who they are.
You dont have to seek love, love will find you. Work on yourself, accept who you are and be secure in who you are, says Allen-Jones.