THOUGH men often get a bad rap for being cheaters, a number of women are guilty of an even worse crime -- getting involved with the man, knowing fully well he is already in a committed relationship.
While many are willing to play the role of the other woman, others are keen on making the full conquest and won't stop, until they get the full commitment.
And some, singing the Lady Saw anthem, even go around declaring 'I've got your man', when they finally snag a fellow who belonged to someone else.
But if he cheated with you, will he cheat on you?
Is this the type of relationship that you can put your trust in, or will you always be on edge, wondering if he will leave you for someone else just as he left someone else for you?
Counselling psychologist Lola Allen-Jones said whether or not the woman can really trust a man like this is dependent on the situation she is in, and why she got into the relationship in the first place.
If she just snagged him for what he can provide, she may not care about what happens in the long term. But if she snagged him from someone else, hoping that he might cease straying when with her, she may be in for a surprise.
"For some women it's not about love or trust, [it's about what they can get out of the relationship]," Allen-Jones said.
As a result, there is no concern that the roles will be reversed and these women become quite comfortable in the union and will even play by the man's philandering rules.
"Sometimes the man will give her everything she needs and because this was her reason for being the other woman, she will not think about the lack of love or trust," the psychologist said.
On the other hand, there are women who are genuinely in love with the men they cheated with.
Julia McDonald, a Jamaican married to a US Marine, said she fell in love with her now husband five years ago, even though he had a live-in girlfriend who was pregnant at the time.
"Weeks after I heard she was pregnant, I got pregnant too, and I told him he had to make a choice," McDonald said. "He went back to her for a while and stayed until she had the baby, then he came back to me and stayed until I had my baby. A few months later he proposed to me."
She said she felt bad at the time, because she understood what the other woman went through.
"The stress of finding out that he had the two of us pregnant sent her into early labour. Our children are just a few months apart, and though it has been five years, I know she still hates me," McDonald said. "But he made his choice."
She said all is not roses in her household though, as she lives in fear constantly that her husband will cheat.
"I know why he married me," she said. "He told his ex that he was choosing me because I was the one who was 'less likely to cheat'. He chose me because I would make a good wife, and she's pretty and was always causing him stress with other men being attracted to her. So I'm no fool. I know that he is still attracted to her, and to women like her, so I worry."
She said her fears were confirmed when, weeks before their wedding, her husband slept with his ex while visiting their child.
"I forgave him. What could I do? Cancel the wedding? Now I know that the probability of him cheating is high, because he didn't marry me for love. So I snoop and I worry and I wait for him to come home each night. I do it because I love him, in spite of everything else."
There are other women, who, even while understanding what stress can come from committing to a man who cheated, still get involved, and live for years as the woman on the side, waiting.
Thirty-year-old Lavine Rose said she has been in her present relationship for close to four years and knew what she was getting into from day one. He was living with a woman for a year and a half prior to meeting her and he had no intention of leaving that woman.
"It used to bother me," she explained. "I used to want him to leave her and questioned why he refused to. But he is not the type that would up and leave her if she does nothing to hurt him. She knows about me and it bothers her, but she is not leaving him either. But to tell the truth, I can understand why she wouldn't."
She added: "He makes it difficult for me to leave him. He takes care of me and my son in every way. He is a very good partner. My son goes to a prep school and every term he pays his school fees and ensures that he has lunch money every day! He is paying my way through college, he furnishes my house, he pays my plane fare to travel ... I am not in need of anything!" she said. "The only problem I have is to get more time with him, and he makes up for it by spending a lot of time on the phone with me. He calls me every chance he gets."
Rose explained that her main reason for having confidence that her man won't cheat with anyone else, is not the material things she gets out of it, but that he is satisfied with their relationship and his work schedule does not permit time for him to think about anyone else.
"Nothing he does is questionable. I am very much comfortable with him and he doesn't lie about the woman he is living with," she said. "I guess you can't have it all. When you have a single man he treats you like trash and then when you find the good one, he is involved."
THOUGH men often get a bad rap for being cheaters, a number of women are guilty of an even worse crime -- getting involved with the man, knowing fully well he is already in a committed relationship.
While many are willing to play the role of the other woman, others are keen on making the full conquest and won't stop, until they get the full commitment.
And some, singing the Lady Saw anthem, even go around declaring 'I've got your man', when they finally snag a fellow who belonged to someone else.
But if he cheated with you, will he cheat on you?
Is this the type of relationship that you can put your trust in, or will you always be on edge, wondering if he will leave you for someone else just as he left someone else for you?
Counselling psychologist Lola Allen-Jones said whether or not the woman can really trust a man like this is dependent on the situation she is in, and why she got into the relationship in the first place.
If she just snagged him for what he can provide, she may not care about what happens in the long term. But if she snagged him from someone else, hoping that he might cease straying when with her, she may be in for a surprise.
"For some women it's not about love or trust, [it's about what they can get out of the relationship]," Allen-Jones said.
As a result, there is no concern that the roles will be reversed and these women become quite comfortable in the union and will even play by the man's philandering rules.
"Sometimes the man will give her everything she needs and because this was her reason for being the other woman, she will not think about the lack of love or trust," the psychologist said.
On the other hand, there are women who are genuinely in love with the men they cheated with.
Julia McDonald, a Jamaican married to a US Marine, said she fell in love with her now husband five years ago, even though he had a live-in girlfriend who was pregnant at the time.
"Weeks after I heard she was pregnant, I got pregnant too, and I told him he had to make a choice," McDonald said. "He went back to her for a while and stayed until she had the baby, then he came back to me and stayed until I had my baby. A few months later he proposed to me."
She said she felt bad at the time, because she understood what the other woman went through.
"The stress of finding out that he had the two of us pregnant sent her into early labour. Our children are just a few months apart, and though it has been five years, I know she still hates me," McDonald said. "But he made his choice."
She said all is not roses in her household though, as she lives in fear constantly that her husband will cheat.
"I know why he married me," she said. "He told his ex that he was choosing me because I was the one who was 'less likely to cheat'. He chose me because I would make a good wife, and she's pretty and was always causing him stress with other men being attracted to her. So I'm no fool. I know that he is still attracted to her, and to women like her, so I worry."
She said her fears were confirmed when, weeks before their wedding, her husband slept with his ex while visiting their child.
"I forgave him. What could I do? Cancel the wedding? Now I know that the probability of him cheating is high, because he didn't marry me for love. So I snoop and I worry and I wait for him to come home each night. I do it because I love him, in spite of everything else."
There are other women, who, even while understanding what stress can come from committing to a man who cheated, still get involved, and live for years as the woman on the side, waiting.
Thirty-year-old Lavine Rose said she has been in her present relationship for close to four years and knew what she was getting into from day one. He was living with a woman for a year and a half prior to meeting her and he had no intention of leaving that woman.
"It used to bother me," she explained. "I used to want him to leave her and questioned why he refused to. But he is not the type that would up and leave her if she does nothing to hurt him. She knows about me and it bothers her, but she is not leaving him either. But to tell the truth, I can understand why she wouldn't."
She added: "He makes it difficult for me to leave him. He takes care of me and my son in every way. He is a very good partner. My son goes to a prep school and every term he pays his school fees and ensures that he has lunch money every day! He is paying my way through college, he furnishes my house, he pays my plane fare to travel ... I am not in need of anything!" she said. "The only problem I have is to get more time with him, and he makes up for it by spending a lot of time on the phone with me. He calls me every chance he gets."
Rose explained that her main reason for having confidence that her man won't cheat with anyone else, is not the material things she gets out of it, but that he is satisfied with their relationship and his work schedule does not permit time for him to think about anyone else.
"Nothing he does is questionable. I am very much comfortable with him and he doesn't lie about the woman he is living with," she said. "I guess you can't have it all. When you have a single man he treats you like trash and then when you find the good one, he is involved."