AMERICAN SPRINT TEAM BLAMES VOODOO FOR LOSS OF RACES [KRAZILY INSANE]
Krazily Insane said
00:21 08/30 2008
APAssociated Press
Associated Press was reliably informed that the Jamaican athletes in the Olympic villages encountered a number of visitors disguised as fans that have been snooping around their quarters.
Several of these so-called fans were found snooping around in the luggage of some of the athletes, peering in lockers, under bedclothes and beds.
Further investigation revealed that these snoops were none other than agents of the United States Homeland Security conducting a covert operat ion in search of a voodoo doll with pins and needles stuck in it.
Attempts to get an official statement from the office of Homeland Security was unsuccessful but an official, speaking on condition of anonymity, confessed that the secret operation was in response to complaints by several American track stars who have been complaining of sharp stabbing pains in various parts of their bodies and other strange and inexplicable occurrences.
Jamaica already had reduced America to ashes in the sprints of the 2008 Beijing Olympics. A country of 2.8 million people swept gold medals in both the men's and women's 100 and 200 and won seven of the 12 medals available in those four races: four gold, two silver, one bronze.
Among the complains was that Sanya Richards was leading comfortably in the 400M hurdles finals when she felt several sharp pains in her legs and sides when she was about 70 meters from the finish line. She was forced to slow down as Melanie Walker shot pass her and won the gold medal in Olympics record time.
On Thursday, the American mens teams failed to advance when Darvis Patton misconnected on the final pass in preliminaries of the 400-meter relay. Gay said he felt the baton. "Then I went to grab it and there was nothing," he said.
Then, Torri Edwards and Lauryn Williams did the same thing for the women's team. The women were in good shape heading into the final exchange, but Williams didn't receive the baton from Edwards. It fell to the ground as Edwards yelled and covered her face with her hands. Williams went back to retrieve it and finished the race -- but the Americans were dead last.
When asked what happened in the race, a dismayed Williams replied, "My hand was there. The stick was there. What I'm telling people is that the stick had a mind of its own. It's not my fault, it's not her fault, it's not either of our fault. It was that thing (the baton) fault." She was almost in tears as she continued, Someone must have put voodoo on the American team.
There simply is no other explanation for whats happeningBeneath the stricken faces of the American men's and women's relay runners Thursday night was an odd wardrobe malfunction: The bibs pinned to their chests were hand written. The letters " USA " appeared to have been scrawled with black marker, unlike the professionally printed bibs worn by the rest of the world's teams.
On a rainy night at the Bird's Nest, what used to be the three most-feared letters in sprinting were splotched and runny."We didn't get the right ones," women's 4x100-meter relay anchor Lauryn Williams said of the bibs. "I don't know why. It's just another weird thing that happened."This was a rapidly recurring nightmare for the Amer ican runners. Both times, the baton snafu happened in Lane 2. Both times, it happened on the third and final handoff.
Admittedly, it was a wet night, and there was a slew of relay problems -- 11 of the 32 men's and women's teams were disqualified for baton drops or leaving their lanes.When contacted by the Associated Press, a representative of the Jamaican team has disregarded any allegations of voodoo practices.We dont use voodoo in Jamdown. We practice obeah. Obeah is much stronger than voodoo!
DysFunktional said
05:43 08/30 2008
person whp wrote dis dnt even kno wat they r talkin about sanya richards and melaine walker run in to different races ..one is 400m FLAT and the other is 400m HURDLES .... reading dis article is freakin confusing ..alot of blah blah blah
"Among the complains was that Sanya Richards was leading comfortably in the 400M hurdles finals when she felt several sharp pains in her legs and sides when she was about 70 meters from the finish line. She was forced to slow down as Melanie Walker shot pass her and won the gold medal in Olympics record time. "
djrichiepoo said
22:46 09/01 2008
yow stop fins excus e fi the SAnya she jus loose and a that no excuse, ppl jus surprise that Jamaica come out this there and tek the olympics by storm cause dem no inna the linga thing lol...............
scuppo said
22:46 09/01 2008
why merica nuh guh chuck off inna some shit?
djrichiepoo said
22:49 09/01 2008
f*k america thenm jus cant stand fi see a small country r anybody of a fact beat them so dem find faults and excuses BADMINE f*kER them, a tru the drugs couldnt get fi use mek dem never up to speed with the jamaicans lol>>>>............
Alien said
22:51 09/01 2008
dem people dem mad!!share excuse excuse excuse you couldnt win cuz your losers face the facts!
Associated Press was reliably informed that the Jamaican athletes in the Olympic villages encountered a number of visitors disguised as fans that have been snooping around their quarters.
Several of these so-called fans were found snooping around in the luggage of some of the athletes, peering in lockers, under bedclothes and beds.
Further investigation revealed that these snoops were none other than agents of the United States Homeland Security conducting a covert operat ion in search of a voodoo doll with pins and needles stuck in it.
Attempts to get an official statement from the office of Homeland Security was unsuccessful but an official, speaking on condition of anonymity, confessed that the secret operation was in response to complaints by several American track stars who have been complaining of sharp stabbing pains in various parts of their bodies and other strange and inexplicable occurrences.
Jamaica already had reduced America to ashes in the sprints of the 2008 Beijing Olympics. A country of 2.8 million people swept gold medals in both the men's and women's 100 and 200 and won seven of the 12 medals available in those four races: four gold, two silver, one bronze.
Among the complains was that Sanya Richards was leading comfortably in the 400M hurdles finals when she felt several sharp pains in her legs and sides when she was about 70 meters from the finish line. She was forced to slow down as Melanie Walker shot pass her and won the gold medal in Olympics record time.
On Thursday, the American mens teams failed to advance when Darvis Patton misconnected on the final pass in preliminaries of the 400-meter relay. Gay said he felt the baton. "Then I went to grab it and there was nothing," he said.
Then, Torri Edwards and Lauryn Williams did the same thing for the women's team. The women were in good shape heading into the final exchange, but Williams didn't receive the baton from Edwards. It fell to the ground as Edwards yelled and covered her face with her hands. Williams went back to retrieve it and finished the race -- but the Americans were dead last.
When asked what happened in the race, a dismayed Williams replied, "My hand was there. The stick was there. What I'm telling people is that the stick had a mind of its own. It's not my fault, it's not her fault, it's not either of our fault. It was that thing (the baton) fault." She was almost in tears as she continued, Someone must have put voodoo on the American team.
There simply is no other explanation for whats happening Beneath the stricken faces of the American men's and women's relay runners Thursday night was an odd wardrobe malfunction: The bibs pinned to their chests were hand written. The letters " USA " appeared to have been scrawled with black marker, unlike the professionally printed bibs worn by the rest of the world's teams.
On a rainy night at the Bird's Nest, what used to be the three most-feared letters in sprinting were splotched and runny. "We didn't get the right ones," women's 4x100-meter relay anchor Lauryn Williams said of the bibs. "I don't know why. It's just another weird thing that happened." This was a rapidly recurring nightmare for the Amer ican runners. Both times, the baton snafu happened in Lane 2. Both times, it happened on the third and final handoff.
Admittedly, it was a wet night, and there was a slew of relay problems -- 11 of the 32 men's and women's teams were disqualified for baton drops or leaving their lanes. When contacted by the Associated Press, a representative of the Jamaican team has disregarded any allegations of voodoo practices. We dont use voodoo in Jamdown. We practice obeah. Obeah is much stronger than voodoo!
"Among the complains was that Sanya Richards was leading comfortably in the 400M hurdles finals when she felt several sharp pains in her legs and sides when she was about 70 meters from the finish line. She was forced to slow down as Melanie Walker shot pass her and won the gold medal in Olympics record time. "
-- Edited by Alien at 23:52, 2008-09-01