Keep up the wonderful job you are doing. I need some advice. I met and fell in love with a man who I really thought was the one for me. Not long into the relationship I got pregnant. In the beginning everything was going fine. I was happy and he was happy. Now, whenever we have a misunderstanding he keeps saying he is not giving me anything for the child until he does a DNA test and he will not put the child in his name. About five months into the relationship, we broke up because he started to try to have sex with my niece. He would come around now and then to see if I am ok.
When the baby was born, he gave me very little for him. He would say he was not giving me any money because I would spend it on myself and I should go and find a stepfather for the child. He would insult and disrespect me whenever he came around. I couldn't take it anymore so I told him not to come back. I went and registered the baby and gave him my surname. When I told him what I did, he never came back to see the child.
My problem is that sometimes I feel guilty that it is because of me that the baby will not know his father. I am capable of taking care of the baby financially so that's not an issue. I just could not take the verbal abuse from this man anymore.
Please, tell me if I am a bad person.
S.P., Clarendon, Jamaica
Dear S.P.,
You are not a bad person, but I regret that you did not register the child in his father's name. I understand why you got fed up and registered child and did not ask him to accompany you so that his name could have been on the birth certificate. But what you did should not cause him to not support the child and if he has a doubt whether he is the father of the child a paternity test can be done.
Too many men behave as hooligans. They do not have respect for women. Whether you can support the child without his help is not the issue. He has a moral obligation to support his child and you should see that he does so. Even if it means that you will have to take him to court.
As the child grows up, tell him who is his father. He will understand. You don't have to entertain the father at your house, but if he is a good man, he would want to support his child and to be with him from time to time.
Pastor
up2 said
10:16 03/27 2008
she nuh do nutten wrong..d man is a p*u**yy and nuh deserve d yute
Mekhilla said
10:49 03/27 2008
real ting up2...some ppl dont deserve children
blackspyda said
10:51 03/27 2008
hmmmmmmm
minksta said
10:58 03/27 2008
i agree up2.......f**king idiot man dat.
Crazypickney said
12:01 03/27 2008
oh my. i guess later on in life she can explain it to the child and the child will understand
Keep up the wonderful job you are doing. I need some advice. I met and fell in love with a man who I really thought was the one for me. Not long into the relationship I got pregnant. In the beginning everything was going fine. I was happy and he was happy. Now, whenever we have a misunderstanding he keeps saying he is not giving me anything for the child until he does a DNA test and he will not put the child in his name. About five months into the relationship, we broke up because he started to try to have sex with my niece. He would come around now and then to see if I am ok.
When the baby was born, he gave me very little for him. He would say he was not giving me any money because I would spend it on myself and I should go and find a stepfather for the child. He would insult and disrespect me whenever he came around. I couldn't take it anymore so I told him not to come back. I went and registered the baby and gave him my surname. When I told him what I did, he never came back to see the child.
My problem is that sometimes I feel guilty that it is because of me that the baby will not know his father. I am capable of taking care of the baby financially so that's not an issue. I just could not take the verbal abuse from this man anymore.
Please, tell me if I am a bad person.
S.P., Clarendon, Jamaica
Dear S.P.,
You are not a bad person, but I regret that you did not register the child in his father's name. I understand why you got fed up and registered child and did not ask him to accompany you so that his name could have been on the birth certificate. But what you did should not cause him to not support the child and if he has a doubt whether he is the father of the child a paternity test can be done.
Too many men behave as hooligans. They do not have respect for women. Whether you can support the child without his help is not the issue. He has a moral obligation to support his child and you should see that he does so. Even if it means that you will have to take him to court.
As the child grows up, tell him who is his father. He will understand. You don't have to entertain the father at your house, but if he is a good man, he would want to support his child and to be with him from time to time.
Pastor