NEW OFFICE POLICIES: Dress Code: * You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary. * If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. * If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. * If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise. Sick Days: We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work. Personal Days: Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays & Sundays. Bathroom Breaks: Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders" category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere. Thank you, The Management
***DK*** said
15:49 03/13 2008
dis is funny...
Caramel_Delite said
15:51 03/13 2008
HAHAHH
Tweeta said
15:51 03/13 2008
this jus nuh right...lol
yellow said
16:01 03/13 2008
a my work dem get it from
lol
Msz JayBee said
16:16 03/13 2008
that was in my inbox at work
-- Edited by So_InTriCat3 at 17:18, 2008-03-13
AJ said
16:17 03/13 2008
lol
up2 said
16:17 03/13 2008
mi woulda resign
Msz JayBee said
16:19 03/13 2008
oh man you missed the lunch hour rules
bLaCkBeatZ said
18:53 03/13 2008
maaad crazy
If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.
* If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.
* If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
Dress Code:
* You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.
* If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.
* If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.
* If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays & Sundays.
Bathroom Breaks:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders" category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
Thank you,
The Management
-- Edited by So_InTriCat3 at 17:18, 2008-03-13
If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.
* If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.
* If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.