MZ @ 2013 :: A Owa Endz

MY LOVE DIED ON VALENTINE'S DAY

ZJSnyper said
11:24 02/14 2008

Pauline Williams does not think about chocolates and roses on Valentine's Day. Instead, the memory of her 34-year-old son, who was shot dead three years ago, comes alive and she is taken back to the day when her youngest child was taken away.Williams' son, Oneil Robinson, was killed in Connecticut, after he attempted to intervene in a fight his friend was involved in. Williams told THE STAR, "He was parting a fight in Connecticut and him get one shot inna him head. Him neva get fi seh another word. That was my baby. 'Im brother used to trouble him an' call him mama's boy. An 'im dead lef' 13 kids. Mi really hate fi know seh it happen, but mi haffi live wid it." Birth and death The day is especially difficult for Williams because it is also the birthday of her very first grandchild. She, therefore, cannot escape the memories. "My first grandchild born that day and my last child died that day. Is a day dat di family can't forget. It is so devastating. Sometimes when a mi granddaughter birthday, mi can't even call her. But a jus' God work. Him have a reason and Him know why," she said. She told THE STAR, "Mi see man weh kill people an' do all kinda tings still a live. My child whe neva give mi no trouble, an whe police neva even know him, God tek him. I wonder if it's for a reason. I can't understand, but mi haffi jus' accept it." Williams places a memorial in the newspaper every year "to keep his name alive", and said "We go as far as to mek a little house for him ova May Pen [cemetery]. Mostly wi tek it quiet, an' sometimes wi go ova there on di anniversary. Mi usually put on a memorial too, like a fish fry." Broken heart Today will be Joyce Marks'first Valentine's Day without her husband of 47 years. Like Williams, the day brings back memories of her husband's death, an event which the family was not really prepared for. Mark's husband died on Valentine's Day last year after an operation in the hospital. She told THE STAR, "He did the operation and he was doing fine, and then all of a sudden, he jus' died. Even now we're not sure what happened." She said as the day draws closer, she starts reliving everything. Though she admits that they were not a 'fussy' couple, Valentine's Day was often spent having dinner together. "As the days move on, we remember what happened. I guess that's what usually happens at anniversaries. It's the decision of the 'man upstairs', so I can't really question it," she said. She told THE STAR that her husband was not a lover of hospitals and that the last thing he told her before he died, after noticing that more doctors and nurses were surrounding him, was "I don't like this at all. This thing is making me uncomfortable." While most of us spend today being concerned about love and gifts, there are a number of other persons who will spend today mourning. One family in Glengoffe, St Catherine, knows all too well what it feels like to endure grief on Valentine's Day. Seven children were left orphaned last year after their mother was murdered by their father on Valentine's Day. Their father committed suicide a day later. Clinical psychologist, Dr Asquith Reid, told THE STAR that while grief is a normal emotion, "overmourning" can be dangerous. He said, "The flip side of love is really sorrow, so people will grieve. But over an extended period, this can start to do harm to the mourner and distract them from regular life." He suggested that persons in grief undertake various activities to help them celebrate the lives of their loved ones. Participating in activities that the deceased person enjoyed, hosting celebrations in honour of the deceased and making contributions to organisations that meant something to the deceased, are ways