From a little book called "Disorder in the Court." These are things people actually said in court, word for word.
Q: What is your date of birth? A: July fifteenth. Q: What year? A: Every year. --------------------------------------------------- Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. --------------------------------------------------- Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? A: Yes. Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory? A: I forget. Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten? --------------------------------------------------- Q: How old is your son, the one living with you. A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. Q: How long has he lived with you? A: Forty-five years. --------------------------------------------------- Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning? A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" Q: And why did that upset you? A: My name is Susan. --------------------------------------------------- Q: And where was the location of the accident? A: Approximately milepost 499. Q: And where is milepost 499? A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500. --------------------------------------------------- Q: Sir, what is your IQ? A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think. --------------------------------------------------- Q: Did you blow your horn or anything? A: After the accident? Q: Before the accident. A: Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it. --------------------------------------------------- Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in the voodoo or occult? A: We both do. Q: Voodoo? A: We do. Q: You do? A: Yes, voodoo. --------------------------------------------------- Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing? A: Yes. Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car? A: Yes, sir. Q: What did she say? A: What disco am I at? --------------------------------------------------- Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? --------------------------------------------------- Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he? --------------------------------------------------- Q: Were you present when your picture was taken? --------------------------------------------------- Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war? --------------------------------------------------- Q: Did he kill you? --------------------------------------------------- Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision? --------------------------------------------------- Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true? --------------------------------------------------- Q: How many times have you committed suicide? --------------------------------------------------- Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? A: Yes. Q: And what were you doing at that time? --------------------------------------------------- Q: She had three children, right? A: Yes. Q: How many were boys? A: None. Q: Were there any girls? --------------------------------------------------- Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement? A: Yes. Q: And these stairs, did they go up also? -------------------------------------------------- Q: Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you? A: I went to Europe, Sir. Q: And you took your new wife? --------------------------------------------------- Q: How was your first marriage terminated? A: By death. Q: And by whose death was it terminated? --------------------------------------------------- Q: Can you describe the individual? A: He was about medium height and had a beard. Q: Was this a male, or a female? --------------------------------------------------- Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. --------------------------------------------------- Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people? A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. --------------------------------------------------- Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to? A: Oral. --------------------------------------------------- Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time? A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy. --------------------------------------------------- Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? --------------------------------------------------- Q: You were not shot in the fracas? A: No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel. --------------------------------------------------- Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? A: No. Q: Did you check for *la*hd pressure? A: No. Q: Did you check for breathing? A: No. Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? A: No. Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor? A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless? A: It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.
ssugarlipss (Administrator) said
04:03 02/13 2008
Major Krazy said
05:43 02/13 2008
Gold!!! LOL!!! Seen most of these before but jus as funny the second time round!
Crazypickney said
13:48 02/13 2008
bLaCkBeatZ said
19:57 02/13 2008
no i understand dis one Q: Were you present when your picture was taken? to check if it was potentially edited
GangstaGentleman said
20:00 02/13 2008
all me know seh a mus some white people dis a cyaan black man
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
---------------------------------------------------
Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
---------------------------------------------------
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?
---------------------------------------------------
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you.
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
---------------------------------------------------
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
---------------------------------------------------
Q: And where was the location of the accident?
A: Approximately milepost 499.
Q: And where is milepost 499?
A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.
---------------------------------------------------
Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.
---------------------------------------------------
Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?
A: After the accident?
Q: Before the accident.
A: Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it.
---------------------------------------------------
Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in the voodoo or occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.
---------------------------------------------------
Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?
A: Yes.
Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
A: Yes, sir.
Q: What did she say?
A: What disco am I at?
---------------------------------------------------
Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
---------------------------------------------------
Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?
---------------------------------------------------
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
---------------------------------------------------
Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?
---------------------------------------------------
Q: Did he kill you?
---------------------------------------------------
Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?
---------------------------------------------------
Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true?
---------------------------------------------------
Q: How many times have you committed suicide?
---------------------------------------------------
Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
---------------------------------------------------
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
---------------------------------------------------
Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
--------------------------------------------------
Q: Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?
A: I went to Europe, Sir.
Q: And you took your new wife?
---------------------------------------------------
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
---------------------------------------------------
Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
---------------------------------------------------
Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
---------------------------------------------------
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
---------------------------------------------------
Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
---------------------------------------------------
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
---------------------------------------------------
Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
---------------------------------------------------
Q: You were not shot in the fracas?
A: No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel.
---------------------------------------------------
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for *la*hd pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A: It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.
to check if it was potentially edited