*Take his nightstick and play whack-a-mole with his head.
*Ask the cop if you can use his pepper spray to spice up your takeout.
*Take his flashlight and play flashlight tag with yourself.
*When he walks up to you, look at his gut and say I thought you had to be physically fit to be a cop.
*Draw happy faces on all the pages in his ticket book.
*Ask if his bulletproof vest would protect him from projectile vomiting.
*Ask him if you can take his squad car out for a joy ride.
*When he ask you for your licence say, Oh sure officer, I could reach it if you'd hold my beer.
*Explain speeding with, See officer, I was driving along when I dropped my bag of crack. I tried to pick it up but, when I did, my gun fell and jammed my foot against the gas pedal.
*Lie on the ground and ask him to draw your outline in chalk.
*Tell him you wanted to be a cop but decided to graduate high school instead.
*Ask him if his badge is made of chocolate.
*Try to bribe him with chucky cheese tokens.
*Try to bribe him with one-dollar bills. When he declines, remind him that with 10-10-220 you can get all calls up to twenty minutes for 99 cents.
*Pay all ticket fines with pennies.
*Ask him how many donuts he can eat in one minute. Ask him to prove it.
*When you spot some cops with a radar gun pull over, show them a hair dryer and yell, I've got one too!
*Say to him, Don't cheek the trunk. Nope, nothing in there. Scout's honor.
*When he asks you to explain why you were going so fast, tell him that you were going to Dunkin' Donuts and you know he'll understand.
*When the cop is talking to you, ignore him and roll your window up and down while looking amazed that it does that.
*Ask him what he is doing out so late.
*Ask him if you can play cops and robbers
*Call his dog Admiral, regardless of what its real name is.
*Throw the cop's nightstick and tell Admiral to go fetch.
*Tell him that the wee little leprechauns made you do it.
*Ask him if he can make strobes with his police lights.
*When he tries to open the door taunt him by locking the door when he tries to open it, then unlocking it when he looks away. Repeat this several times.
*Paint flames on the side of his squad car.
*Paint flames on the side of his uniform.
*When he walks up to your car-put your hands on your face and mutter, If I don't see you I can't get a ticket.
*Throw cans of Spam at him.
*When he tells you to put your hands on the hood, walk to his car and put your hands on his hood.
*Say to him Darn, officer you must of been going fast to keep up with me!!
*Tell him you were testing to law of perpetual motion when the escape vector was off causing Philbin's law to take effect...
*Tell him he should've been on a pony so you could've outran him.
* When he walks up to you have the radio full blast, look forward without saying a word and breathe in and out very loudly.
* When he ask you to walk the straight line, Riverdance instead.
* When he asks you to say your alphabet backwards count backwards from ten instead.
*When he asks you to touch your nose, poke yourself in the eye and start acting like Curly from the Three Stooges.
*Keep his pen.
*If they put you in the back of the squad car, sing, Mary Had a Little Lamb loudly and obnoxiously over and over all the way to the Police Dept.
*Say Could you tighten these cuffs? My hands don't hurt yet.
*Instead of pleading the fifth admendment plead the 13th or the 18th Instead.
Bonus points if you can do any of these without getting hit over the head with a nightstick.
Double bonus if you can do all of these without getting the death penalty.
*Ask the cop if you can use his pepper spray to spice up your takeout.
*Take his flashlight and play flashlight tag with yourself.
*When he walks up to you, look at his gut and say I thought you had to be
physically fit to be a cop.
*Draw happy faces on all the pages in his ticket book.
*Ask if his bulletproof vest would protect him from projectile vomiting.
*Ask him if you can take his squad car out for a joy ride.
*When he ask you for your licence say, Oh sure officer, I could reach it if
you'd hold my beer.
*Explain speeding with, See officer, I was driving along when I dropped my
bag of crack. I tried to pick it up but, when I did, my gun fell and jammed my
foot against the gas pedal.
*Lie on the ground and ask him to draw your outline in chalk.
*Tell him you wanted to be a cop but decided to graduate high school instead.
*Ask him if his badge is made of chocolate.
*Try to bribe him with chucky cheese tokens.
*Try to bribe him with one-dollar bills. When he declines, remind him that
with 10-10-220 you can get all calls up to twenty minutes for 99 cents.
*Pay all ticket fines with pennies.
*Ask him how many donuts he can eat in one minute. Ask him to prove it.
*When you spot some cops with a radar gun pull over, show them a hair dryer
and yell, I've got one too!
*Say to him, Don't cheek the trunk. Nope, nothing in there. Scout's honor.
*When he asks you to explain why you were going so fast, tell him that you
were going to Dunkin' Donuts and you know he'll understand.
*When the cop is talking to you, ignore him and roll your window up and down
while looking amazed that it does that.
*Ask him what he is doing out so late.
*Ask him if you can play cops and robbers
*Call his dog Admiral, regardless of what its real name is.
*Throw the cop's nightstick and tell Admiral to go fetch.
*Tell him that the wee little leprechauns made you do it.
*Ask him if he can make strobes with his police lights.
*When he tries to open the door taunt him by locking the door when he tries to
open it, then unlocking it when he looks away. Repeat this several times.
*Paint flames on the side of his squad car.
*Paint flames on the side of his uniform.
*When he walks up to your car-put your hands on your face and mutter, If I
don't see you I can't get a ticket.
*Throw cans of Spam at him.
*When he tells you to put your hands on the hood, walk to his car and put your
hands on his hood.
*Say to him Darn, officer you must of been going fast to keep up with me!!
*Tell him you were testing to law of perpetual motion when the escape vector
was off causing Philbin's law to take effect...
*Tell him he should've been on a pony so you could've outran him.
* When he walks up to you have the radio full blast, look forward without
saying a word and breathe in and out very loudly.
* When he ask you to walk the straight line, Riverdance instead.
* When he asks you to say your alphabet backwards count backwards from ten
instead.
*When he asks you to touch your nose, poke yourself in the eye and start
acting like Curly from the Three Stooges.
*Keep his pen.
*If they put you in the back of the squad car, sing, Mary Had a Little Lamb
loudly and obnoxiously over and over all the way to the Police Dept.
*Say Could you tighten these cuffs? My hands don't hurt yet.
*Instead of pleading the fifth admendment plead the 13th or the 18th Instead.
Bonus points if you can do any of these without getting hit over the head
with a nightstick.
Double bonus if you can do all of these without getting the death penalty.