read your columns every chance I get. I must confess the advice you give I would never in 10 years be able to give. I am hoping you can help me with this one. I have known my boyfriend from the age of four. We got intimate five years ago. We were enjoying our relationship until his mother got sick and he had to leave to live with her because he is her only child. We kept in touch every chance we got and he would look for me during the holidays for a week or less because he has to work.
My problems started last year when a girl called my phone telling me that I should leave him alone because she cannot have him for herself because of me. Each time after they had sex, he would tell her I'm still his number one and he just had sex with her because he does not want to force me into something. I'm not ready for sex. I'm a virgin. She also told me she really loves him, but he does not love her and I am the cause.
Pastor, I try very hard to have a good conversation with her. I try not to say anything I would not like anyone to say to me because I know that is emotional stress. She kept calling me for about a week. I kept our little talks to myself and did not tell my boyfriend, because he was off the island on business. She then called me a week later telling me that she is pregnant and she is asking me to leave him alone, so she does not have to grow her child on her own. I told her I'll think about it.
Crocodile tears?
That night he called me and I told him about it and everything else. He cried while he told me what he said is the truth that he had sex with her twice and that he used condoms so she is lying. He also told me the reason he stopped having sex with her after the second time was because he knew he was doing something wrong and he did not want to hurt me. He asked forgiveness and I gave it to him because I really love him.
When he returned home to Jamaica he came straight from the airport to his uncle's house, who is my neighbour. Not even his mother knew he was back; no one at his workplace either. He spent two weeks with me. I slept with him, kissed etc, but still we did not have sex. He helped me to study, even went to the library with me to do my homework and projects. Whenever we showered together he would wash my underwear, Pastor everything he does takes my breath away. Little did I know that the reason why he was away from work was he was playing sick to be with me on my birthday.
A few weeks ago when he proposed to me, my parents were very happy, but insisted that I finish college before the wedding. He also thinks that too. He left the day after my birthday to go back to work. Two days after the girl called me again telling me that she saw him and called his name, but he just cut his eyes at her. She even said that any obeah I use on him to make him love me she will use a more powerful one on him because any man she wants she has to have, not to mention the ones with money and the pretty hair and she wants him to fill the space her past man left.
Obeah vs angels
Pastor, this is what scares me the most. He says I must change my SIM card so I can have a new number and as for the obeah, it cannot work on him because God is his guiding angel. I'm still worried about him being in the same community with her. I don't believe in obeah, I just don't want him to get hurt.
Please tell me what to do? Do you really think that he loves me based on all the information I gave you? Do you think our relationship will lead into marriage with this girl riding us like horses? I'm 19 and he is 22.
F., Portland, Jamaica.
Dear F,
Time will tell you whether this girl is telling the truth and whether the tears that this guy shed were only crocodile tears to make you feel that all is well, and that he would make you his wife. It is not easy to tell whether a man is speaking the truth when another woman is involved in his life. I don't consider this man to be an angel. He has not had sex with you but he had sex with the other girl to satisfy his sexual appetite. Would you consider him such a wonderful man after using the other girl and telling you what he did? I wonder what he told her about you? He is not a man who can keep his mouth.
What a fortunate girl you are for a man to sleep with you, kiss you up, shower with you etc. and not have sex with you. Am I to understand that he has not penetrated you? I'm sure he did other things to you to make you feel nice and to satisfy himself. This man washes your underwear and you are not ill? No wonder you say he took your breath away. He truly knows how to make a woman feel special. I hope he doesn't disappoint you. I hope that you know the same way he treats that other girl is the same way he may treat you. I hope I am wrong. Tell him that he should end the relationship with her if he is serious about you.
My problems started last year when a girl called my phone telling me that I should leave him alone because she cannot have him for herself because of me. Each time after they had sex, he would tell her I'm still his number one and he just had sex with her because he does not want to force me into something. I'm not ready for sex. I'm a virgin. She also told me she really loves him, but he does not love her and I am the cause.
Pastor, I try very hard to have a good conversation with her. I try not to say anything I would not like anyone to say to me because I know that is emotional stress. She kept calling me for about a week. I kept our little talks to myself and did not tell my boyfriend, because he was off the island on business. She then called me a week later telling me that she is pregnant and she is asking me to leave him alone, so she does not have to grow her child on her own. I told her I'll think about it.
Crocodile tears?
That night he called me and I told him about it and everything else. He cried while he told me what he said is the truth that he had sex with her twice and that he used condoms so she is lying. He also told me the reason he stopped having sex with her after the second time was because he knew he was doing something wrong and he did not want to hurt me. He asked forgiveness and I gave it to him because I really love him.
When he returned home to Jamaica he came straight from the airport to his uncle's house, who is my neighbour. Not even his mother knew he was back; no one at his workplace either. He spent two weeks with me. I slept with him, kissed etc, but still we did not have sex. He helped me to study, even went to the library with me to do my homework and projects. Whenever we showered together he would wash my underwear, Pastor everything he does takes my breath away. Little did I know that the reason why he was away from work was he was playing sick to be with me on my birthday.
A few weeks ago when he proposed to me, my parents were very happy, but insisted that I finish college before the wedding. He also thinks that too. He left the day after my birthday to go back to work. Two days after the girl called me again telling me that she saw him and called his name, but he just cut his eyes at her. She even said that any obeah I use on him to make him love me she will use a more powerful one on him because any man she wants she has to have, not to mention the ones with money and the pretty hair and she wants him to fill the space her past man left.
Obeah vs angels
Pastor, this is what scares me the most. He says I must change my SIM card so I can have a new number and as for the obeah, it cannot work on him because God is his guiding angel. I'm still worried about him being in the same community with her. I don't believe in obeah, I just don't want him to get hurt.
Please tell me what to do? Do you really think that he loves me based on all the information I gave you? Do you think our relationship will lead into marriage with this girl riding us like horses? I'm 19 and he is 22.
F., Portland, Jamaica.
Dear F,
Time will tell you whether this girl is telling the truth and whether the tears that this guy shed were only crocodile tears to make you feel that all is well, and that he would make you his wife. It is not easy to tell whether a man is speaking the truth when another woman is involved in his life. I don't consider this man to be an angel. He has not had sex with you but he had sex with the other girl to satisfy his sexual appetite. Would you consider him such a wonderful man after using the other girl and telling you what he did? I wonder what he told her about you? He is not a man who can keep his mouth.
What a fortunate girl you are for a man to sleep with you, kiss you up, shower with you etc. and not have sex with you. Am I to understand that he has not penetrated you? I'm sure he did other things to you to make you feel nice and to satisfy himself. This man washes your underwear and you are not ill? No wonder you say he took your breath away. He truly knows how to make a woman feel special. I hope he doesn't disappoint you. I hope that you know the same way he treats that other girl is the same way he may treat you. I hope I am wrong. Tell him that he should end the relationship with her if he is serious about you.