THE YEAR'S BEST [actual] HEADLINES OF 2007: Crack Found on Governor's Daughter Something Went Wrongin Jet Crash, Expert Says [ really?] Police Begin Campaign to Run DownJaywalkers Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
Panda Mating Fails;Veterinarian Takes Over [What a guy!] Miners Refuse to Work afterDeath Juvenile Court to TryShooting Defendant [See if that works better than a fair trial!] War Dims Hopefor Peace [I can see where it might have that effect!] If Strike Isn't SettledQuickly, It May Last Awhile Cold Wave Linked toTemperatures London CoupleSlain;Police Suspect Homicide [They may be on to something!] Red Tape Holds UpNew Bridges [You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?] Man Struck By Lightning: FacesBattery Charge [he probably IS the battery charge!] New Study of Obesity Looksfor Larger Test Group [Weren't they fat enough?!] Astronaut Takes Blame forGas in Spacecraft [That's what he gets for eating those beans!]
Local High SchoolDropoutsCut in Half [Chainsaw Massacre all over again!] Hospitals are Sued by 7Foot Doctors [wow, are they tall!]
And the winner is.....
Typhoon rips through cemetary; Hundreds dead
We all need a good laugh, keep laughing ... it will keep you young.
Crack Found on Governor's Daughter
Something Went Wrongin Jet Crash, Expert Says
[ really?]
Police Begin Campaign to Run DownJaywalkers
Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
Panda Mating Fails;Veterinarian Takes Over
[What a guy!]
Miners Refuse to Work afterDeath
Juvenile Court to TryShooting Defendant
[See if that works better than a fair trial!]
War Dims Hopefor Peace
[I can see where it might have that effect!]
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Cold Wave Linked toTemperatures
London Couple Slain;Police Suspect Homicide
[They may be on to something!]
Red Tape Holds UpNew Bridges
[You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?]
Man Struck By Lightning: FacesBattery Charge
[he probably IS the battery charge!]
New Study of Obesity Looksfor Larger Test Group
[Weren't they fat enough?!]
Astronaut Takes Blame forGas in Spacecraft
[That's what he gets for eating those beans!]
Local High SchoolDropoutsCut in Half
[Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]
Hospitals are Sued by 7Foot Doctors
[wow, are they tall!]
And the winner is.....
Typhoon rips through cemetary; Hundreds dead
We all need a good laugh, keep laughing ... it will keep you young.