BAKED BEANS > > One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. > When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme > sacrifice and gave up baked beans. > Some months later, on my birthday my car broke > down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called > my husband and told him that I would be late because I had to > walk home. > On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odor > of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I > figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the > diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. > All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas. Upon my > arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for > dinner tonight." > He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. > I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me promise > not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call. > > The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the > pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my > husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my > weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like > a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. > I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air > around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off > three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage. > Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other > room, I went on like this for another few minutes. > The pleasure was indescribable. > When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more > times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on > it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself. > > My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long. He > asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had > not. At this point he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests > seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!" > I fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
STAINLESS said
22:02 03/17 2007
LMAO..DAT MAD LOL..LOL
yellow said
20:07 03/11 2008
nasty f*kka
Ambassidah said
00:41 03/12 2008
how dem nuh faint to?
Crazypickney said
21:42 03/13 2008
lol lol, my gosh
bLaCkBeatZ said
21:47 03/13 2008
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA LMAO
AJ said
21:49 03/13 2008
wtf lol
Garrick said
06:02 03/14 2008
lol
littlemisslinkz said
06:02 03/14 2008
lol
fyahhh said
06:11 03/14 2008
HAHAHAHA THATS A GOOD ONE
rrDesignZ said
07:00 03/14 2008
Haterzmostwanted said
10:50 03/14 2008
thats funny.LOL!!!!!!!!!!!
Gucci said
00:21 03/15 2008
HAHAAA. holy sh*ttt... literally?..
jr1 said
00:38 03/15 2008
lol a sorry fi di guest dem
tikotee said
22:49 03/16 2008
can imadine da look on the guests face while she a fart !!! lmao
>
> One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love.
> When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme
> sacrifice and gave up baked beans.
> Some months later, on my birthday my car broke
> down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called
> my husband and told him that I would be late because I had to
> walk home.
> On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odor
> of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I
> figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the
> diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans.
> All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas. Upon my
> arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for
> dinner tonight."
> He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table.
> I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me promise
> not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call.
>
> The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the
> pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my
> husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my
> weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like
> a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill.
> I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air
> around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off
> three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage.
> Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other
> room, I went on like this for another few minutes.
> The pleasure was indescribable.
> When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more
> times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on
> it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.
>
> My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long. He
> asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had
> not. At this point he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests
> seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"
> I fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!