dis is def fun

YEARBOOK YOURSELF

-- Edited by massive vybe at 15:06, 2008-09-07

a jamaican guy enters a resturant and while sitting at his table he notices a gorgeous woman sitting at another table alone. he calls the waiter over and asks for a bottle of the most expensive champagne to be sent over to her knowing that if she accepts it she will be his. the waiter gets the bottle and quickly takes it over to the young lady, saying that its from the gentleman. she looks at the champagne and decides to send a note back to the jamaican, the note reads... "for me to accept this bottle you need to have a mercedes in your garage, a million in the bank and 9 inches in your trousers." After Reading this note the jamaican sends back a note of his own, it reads... "jus su yuh know...me av a bran new benz an a bran new bimma park up inna mi yard, an mi av over 10 million inna de bank but nuhbaddy an mi mean NUHBADDY nah gon mek mi cut 3 inch off a wah mi av inna mi pants...suh yuh can jus sen back di champagne!"

source

-- Edited by Dj_Rubbut at 11:23, 2008-10-26

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/IiHSMX5dvBY&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/IiHSMX5dvBY&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IiHSMX5dvBY

-- Edited by dappa75wifie at 19:23, 2008-10-25

-- Edited by Garrick at 08:27, 2008-10-26

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RgyEOctCsf0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_fxlOxU2msU

SEE HOW FAST N SMART U ARE AND FINE THE 3 DIFF IN THE PHOTOS
CLICK TE LINK NOW \

http://members.home.nl/saen/Special/Zoeken.swf

-- Edited by dappa75wifie at 11:45, 2007-12-12

A Lady was travelling along Caledonia road in Mandeville, when she was involved in a traffic accident with a man who was driving a car. They both agreed to go to a nearby police station to make a report.

Here's the dialogue of her conversation with the police officer on duty:

Lady: Mawning offica

Officer: Mawning Maam

Lady: I'm here to report an accident

Officer: Go ahead Maam

Lady: Offica, mi seh mi a cum enuh, and when mi realise the man a cum too, mi start blow the man, and all di blow mi a blow the man, him still cum inna mi.

Officer: Lady it look like a sex argument yuh a talk bout.

Lady: No offica, but look how the man mash up the whole a mi front.

           This is crime story! 5 Friends lived in 1 room: MAD, BRAIN, FOOL,NOBODY & SOMEBODY. One day SOMEBODY killed NOBODY. AT thAt time BRAIN was in the BATHROOM. MAD called the Police. MAD:'is it the police station?' Police: 'yes, what is the matter ' MAD: 'SOMEBODY killed BODY' Police:'are you MAD ' MAD: 'yes i'm MAD' Police: 'do u have a B AIN ' MAD: B AIN is in the Bathroom .' Police: 'you FOOL!!!!' MAD: 'No sir .FOOL is reading this joke '

-- Edited by alligcold at 17:49, 2008-10-21

Voodoo Penis: A CLASSIC A businessman was getting ready to go on a long business trip. He knew his wife was a flirtatious sort with an extremely healthy sex drive, so he thought he'd better buy her a little something to keep her occupied while he was gone. He went to a store that sold sex toys and started looking around for something special to please his wife, and started talking to the old man behind the counter. He explained his situation. The old man said, "Well, We have vibrating dildos, special attachments, and so on, but I don't know of anything that will keep her occupied for weeks, except---" and he stopped. "Except what?" the man asked. "Nothing, nothing." "C'mon, tell me! I need something!" "Well, sir, I don't usually mention this, but there is The Voodoo Penis." "So what's up with this Voodoo Penis?" he asked. The old man reached under the counter, and pulled out a very old wooden box, carved with strange symbols and erotic images. He opened it, and there lay an ordinary-looking dildo. The businessman laughed, and said, "Big damn deal. It looks like every other dildo in this shop!" The old man replied, "But you haven't seen what it'll do yet." He pointed to a door and said, "Voodoo Penis, the door." The Voodoo Penis miraculously rose out of its box, darted over to the door, and started pounding the keyhole. The whole door shook wildly with the vibrations, so much so that a crack began to form down the middle. Before the door split, the old man said "Voodoo Penis, return to box!" The Voodoo Penis stopped, levitated back to the box and lay there quiet once more. "I'll take it!" said the businessman. The guy took it home to his wife, told her it was a special dil do and that to use it, all she had to do was say "Voodoo Penis, my crotch." After he'd been gone a few days, the wife was unbearably horny and remembered the Voodoo Penis. She undressed, opened the box and said "Voodoo Penis, my crotch!" The Voodoo Penis shot to her crotch and started pumping. It was absolutely incredible, like nothing she'd ever experienced before. After three mind- shattering orgasms, she became very exhausted and decided she'd had enough. She tried to pull it out, but it was stuck in her, still thrusting. She tried and tried to get it out, but nothing worked. Her husband had forgotten to tell her how to shut it off. Worried, she decided to go to the hospital to see if they could help. She put her clothes on, got in the car and started to drive, quivering with every thrust of the dildo. On the way, another incredibly intense orgasm made her swerve all over the road. A police officer saw this and immediately pulled her over. He asked for her license, and then asked how much she'd had to drink. Gasping and twitching, she explained, "I haven't had anything to drink, officer. You see, I've got this Voodoo Penis thing stuck in my crotch and it won?t stop screwing me!" The officer looked at her for a second, shook his head and in an arrogant voice replied, "Yeah, right... Voodoo Penis, my ass." The rest is history...

Odd Statues

http://www.bofunk.com/video/6411/worlds_smallest_bodybuilder.html

Yo pre this
http://lolz.ir/summer-love-for-donkey-he-likes-the-view/2008/07/13/

The Soldier and the Nun A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, 'Please, may I hide under your skirt. I'll explain later.' The nun agreed. A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, Sister, have you seen a soldier?' The nun replied, 'He went that way.' After the MPs ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, 'I can't thank you enough Sister. You see, I don't want to go to Iraq ...' The nun said, 'I understand completely.' The soldier added, 'I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!' The nun replied, 'If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls....I don't want to go to Iraq either.'

http://users.telenet.be/leukelinks/flash/queen.htm

lol

-- Edited by pengo at 12:09, 2008-02-12

Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake. "Ill go into town for a doctor," the other says. He runs ten miles to a small town and finds the towns only doctor, who is delivering a baby. "I cant leave," the doctor says. But heres what to do. Take a knife, cut a little X where the bite is, *u*k out the poison and spit it on the ground." The guy runs back to his friend, who is in agony. What did the doctor say?" the victim asks. "He says youre gonna die."

http://www.mediafire.com/file/yzzjnnimelj/Johnny2[1].mp4
http://www.mediafire.com/file/kn32zkn2dnv/Johnny[1].mp4

-- Edited by BGDuk at 14:10, 2008-10-23

Dat white bwoy funny as hell
Mouhahahahahaha...

Check latest update here: http://www.tsgnet.com/pres.php?id=370617&altf=EK&altl=TIJ88MF GO AND VOTE!!!!!

Prom Day in 'The Hood' !!

Jar Jar, Lord Fauntleroy and junga Din ... Take note

Of the numerous police vehicles and the ambulance!

Prom dresses sure have changed
Since I was in high school !

    Notice the wrapped bricks

What is that around her neck?

Why all the 'POleece' in the background?

There is a Buick with missing seat covers
Somewhere in The Hood ..

He stole that hat from Boy George .

Do these dresses make our asses look fat?
(No, your asses make these dresses look fat!)

    Think she forgot the rest of the dress?

                                       

No comment ..

Who's Yo Momma?
WHO'S YO MOMMA?!!!

Yikes!!

DOUBLE YIKES!!!!

 

 

The token white guy and his momma in the background).

     Can you see the red thong underneath?

                                         Oh...My...GAWD!!!!!

Yes, that is a helicopter on her head...

And, last but not least:
   Nasty!

this man mouth stink lolllol

dont tek this ting like nuh battyman ting if yuh notice which forum mi post it inna funny stuff..lol..ok..cos mi know how the man dem pon mediazone stay..lol

This fellow was so deeply in love that just before he was married, he had his bride's name tattooed on his love muscle. Normally, only the first and last letters were visible, although when he was aroused, the tattoo spelled out W-E-N-D-Y. Now they're on their honeymoon at a resort in Montego Bay. One night, in the men's room, this fellow finds himself standing next to a tall Jamaican at the urinal. To his amazement, he notices that this man, too, has the letters W-Y tattooed on his penis. "Excuse me," he says, "but I couldn't help noticing your tattoo. Do you have a girlfriend named Wendy?" "No way, mon, I work for the Tourist board. Mine reads, "Welcome to Jamaica, mon, have a nice day.'"

I was walking past the mental hospital the other day,and all the patients were shouting ,'13....13....13' The fence was too high to see over,but I saw a little gap in the planks and looked through to see what was going on. Some bastard poked me in the eye with a stick. Then they all started shouting '14....14....14'...

Sally (a blonde) was seen going into the woods with a small package and a large bird cage. She was gone several days but finally she returned. Her friend, Liz, never saw Sally looking' so sad. 
Liz, "Heard you went off in the woods for a couple of days. Glad you got back okay...but you look so sad. Why??"

Sally, "Cause I just can't get a man."

Liz, "Well, you sure won't find one in the middle of the woods."

Sally, "Don't be so silly. I know that. But I went in the woods 'cause I needed something there that would get me a man. But I couldn't find it."

Liz, "I don't understand what you're talking about."

Sally, "Well, I went there to catch a couple of owls. I took some dead mice and a bird cage."

Liz, "So, how's that gonna help you get a man."

Sally, "Well, I heard the best way to get a man is to have a good pair of hooters."

A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit. The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing. 

The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the blonde mortician a blank check and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'

The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly.

She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?' To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check. 'There's no charge,' she says. 'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says.

'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.'

'So I just switched the heads.'

A Jamaican driving in his brand new BMW Z8 pulls over to take a leak. A truck speeding down the street crashes into his door just as hes about to come out of his car, sending it flying off the hinges. Enraged, he uses his cell phone to call 911. When the police arrives, the Jamaican man explains what happened. 'Star, di man jus come lick off de door a mi bimmer!! Mi car write off to ra**!!' The police, after surveying the scene shakes his head in amazement and says, You Jamaicans are so materialistic.Youre so into the damage of your car door, that you didnt even realize that your hand is still attached to it!' The guy, finally realizing this, looks at his amputated hand and screams out,'*lo**claat!!! Mi rolex!!!'


-- Edited by Dj_Rubbut at 18:31, 2008-10-16

On the outskirts of town, there was a huge nut tree by the cemetery fence. One day two boys filled up a bucket with nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts. 

"One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me," said one boy. The bucket was so full, several rolled out toward the fence. 

Cycling down the road by the cemetery was a third boy. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me." 

He knew what it was. "Oh my," he shuddered. "It's Satan and St. Peter dividing the souls at the cemetery." 

He cycled down the road as fast as he could and found an old man hobbling along with a cane. "Come here quick," said the boy. "You won't believe what I heard. Satan and St. Peter are down at the cemetery dividing the souls." 

The man said, "Shoo, you brat, can't you see I'm finding it hard to walk as it is." But after several pleas, the man hobbled to the cemetery. 

Standing by the fence, they heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me." 

The old man whispered, "Boy, you've been telling the truth. Let's find out if we can see the devil himself." Shivering with fear, they peered through the fence, but they were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought-iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of Satan. 

At last they heard, "One for you, one for me. And one last one for you. That's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence, and we'll be done." 

They say the old guy made it back to town five minutes before the boy.

The Call to Worship is, "Y'all come on in!" The Bible's used mostly to create loud noises. The collection plates are hub caps from a '56 Chevy. The pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering." Then five guys and two women stand up The baptismal fountain is a #2 galvanized washtub. Baptism is referred to as "branding." Saltines and Boone Farm wine are used for communion. The choir is known as the "OK Chorale." The choir robes were donated and embroidered with the logo from "Billy Bob's Barbecue." High notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling. People think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy. The pastor's colorful shoes have a visible "8 1/2" on the back. You hear long prayers complaining about the weather and beer prices. Holiday church decorations include Santa and the Easter Bunny. Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday. Congregation grumbles about Noah letting coyotes on the ark. Finding and returning lost sheep isn't just a parable. In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory. People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em. A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because, "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of." There is a special fund raiser for a new church septic tank. The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one. The church bulletin has the NASCAR schedule printed on the back. The final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now, yah hear?" The picture of Jesus looks a lot like Elvis!

MY VIBRATOR, WHICH BRINGS ME HEAVEN! RABBIT BE THY NAME!
TILL KINGDOM COME. THY MAKETH ME CUM! ON EARTH!
OR IS IT HEAVEN? GIVE ME THIS DAY MY DAILY THRILL AND FORGIVE ME
MY SCREAMS! AS I FORGIVE THOSE WHO SOLD ME DEAD BATTERIES!
LEAD ME STRAIGHT INTO TEMPTATION! BUT DELIVER ME FROM FRUSTRATION! FOR THINE IS THE VIBRATION! THE POWER AND ROTATION.
FOR EVER AND EVER!

NO MEN!

A guy goes over to his friend's house, rings the bell, and the wife answers.

" Hi, is Tony home?"

" No, he went to the store."

"Well, you mind if I wait?"

" No, come in."

They sit down and the friend says "You know Nora, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred bucks if I could just see one."

Nora thinks about this for a second and figures what the hell - a hundred bucks. She opens her robe and shows one. He promptly thanks her and throws a hundred bucks on the table.

They sit there a while longer and Chris says "They are so beautiful I've got to see the both of them. I'll give you another hundred bucks if I could just see the both of them together."

Nora thinks about this and thinks what the hell, opens her robe, and gives Chris a nice long look. Chris thanks her, throws another hundred bucks on the table, and then says he can't wait any longer and leaves.

A while later Tony arrives home and his wife says "You know, your weird friend Chris came over. "

Tony thinks about this for a second and says "Well did he drop off the 200 bucks he owes me?"

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/8b1f275ac6

WATCH

-- Edited by DJ JeRmIrE at 20:56, 2008-10-12

Pree This:
http://www.zshare.net/video/11699238126ea12e/

One day Jack's dad bought a robot. The robot was special in that it could detect a lie and would slap the person who lied on the face. Jack returned late from school that day and his dad asked him, "Son why are you late from school?".

// // // //

Jack answered, "Dad we had extra classes today". Much to his astonishment the Robot jumped up and slapped Jack on his face.

His dad told him, this robot is special in that he can detect a lie and will then slap the person who lied now come on tell me the truth, " Why are you late?"

"Dad I went to my friend's house."

Which friend?

"David"

Splatt... Jack got a tight slap on the face from the robot.

"No dad honestly I went for the movie with my girl friend."

"Shame on you son when I was your age I never used to watch movies after school." Splatt, the dad gets a tight slap on the face from the robot. Hearing all this, Jack's mother comes walking out of the kitchen saying, "After all he is your son, he will be like you".

The robot steps up and gives a resounding slap on Jack's mothers face