A WEH DI BLERTNEEEEET

SOME A UNU THINK UNU ALL DAT AN HAVE UNU HEAD SO FAR UP UNU AZZ UNU A NYAM UNU OWNA SH!T UNU KNO UNU SELF.......

MAN DEM FOCKUP BIGBIRD!MI WANT DI LEG N THIGH

AM I WRONG TO ASSUME THAT THERE IS SOMETHING MAJORLY WRONG WITH THIS PROFILE????

A sociologist was interviewing a Rastafarian for a new book. The interview went like this:

Sociologist : It is said that 98% of Jamaican men suck pum pum.

Rastafarian: Yow boss, yuh si me? Me pure. Mi nuh eat meat an' mi
nuh eat flesh!!! Mi cum from Lords of Lords, Kings of Kings, to di most
high JAH RASTAFARI!!! I an' I nuh duh dem tings deh. Zeeeen.

Sociologist: It is said that the other 2% are batty men.

Rastafarian: *lo**clat mi back inna di 98%.

A few months ago, there was an opening with the CIA for an assassin. These highly classified positions are hard to fill, and there's a lot of testing and background checks involved before you can even be considered for the position. After sending some applicants through the background checks, training and testing, they narrowed the possible choices down to two men and a woman, but only one position was available.

The day came for the final test to see which peson would get the extremely secretive job. The CIA men administering the test took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow our instructions whatever the circumstances," they explained. "Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her." The man looked horrified and said, "You can't be serious! I could never shoot my wife!" "Well," said the CIA man, "you're definitely not the right man for this job then."

So they brought the second man to the same door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow instructions no matter what the circumstances," they explained to the second man. "Inside you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her." The second man looked a bit shocked, but nevertheless took the gun and went in the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes; then the door opened. The man came out of the room with tears in his eyes. "I tried to shoot her; I just couldn't pull the trigger and shoot my wife. I guess I'm not the right man for the job."

"No," the CIA man replied, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Now they only had the woman left to test. They led her to the same door to the same room and handed her the same gun. "We must be sure that you will follow instructions no matter what the circumstances; this is your final test. Inside you will find your husband sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill him." The woman took the gun and opened the door. Before the door even closed all the way, the CIA men heard the gun start firing, one shot after another for 13 shots. Then all hell broke loose in the room. They heard screaming, rashing, and banging on the walls. This went on for several minutes; then all went quiet.

The door opened slowly, and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, "You guys didn't tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. I had to beat the son of a b*t*h to death with the chair!"

-- Edited by gamepun on Tuesday 2nd of February 2010 11:55:27 PM

-- Edited by SCOOPA-!NK on Tuesday 5th of October 2010 09:41:31 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KaDRIHH4wS0

Two young policemen fresh out of training school see Ninjaman down by St,. Marys Church

Carrying a wooden door around  11.00pm carrying a wooden door (yuh know de ones wid louvers)

One of the officers say to the other

 This look very fishy, leh we go and find out where Ninjaman get this door from.

Excuse me sir exactly what it is you doing and where de hell you going wid this door this time of night? One police asked.

Ninja man stopped,  looked around placed the door on the ground while still holding it upright,  got behind it,

Pull down the louvers, peeping out at the police and said:

Wunna got a warrant to come in hey?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iExCdIZVfkI

A RASTAMAN AND HIS EMPRESS ARE IN COURT GETTING A DIVORCE. THE PROBLEM WAS WHO SHOULD GET CUSTODY OF THE CHILD? 

THE EMPRESS JUMPED UP ANS SAID, " YOUR HONOR. I BROUGHT THE CHILD INTO THIS WORLD WITH GREAT PAIN AND LABOUR SO IT IS ONLY RIGHT THAT SHE SHOULD BE IN MY CUSTODY."

THE JUDGE NODS HIS HEAD .... REVIEWS HIS NOTES ... TURNS TO THE RATSA AND SAYS, "WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY IN THE MATTER?"

THE RASTAMAN .... WHOSE NAME IS RALPH ... SAT FOR A WHILE CONTEMPLATING ... THEN SLOWLY ROSE AND SAID, " YOW YOUR HONOR PENETRATE DIS ... IF I AND I PUT A DOLLAR IN A VENDING MACHINE AND A PEPSI COME OUT, A WHO FA PEPSI ....  I AND I .....OR THE MACHINE?"

THE JUDGE HAD SOME DIFFICULTY IN RESTORING ORDER IN THE COURT.

but  whey di blu....

WAH KINDA SNORE THIS?

****YWOL!!!