I knew it!!! I just knew it!!

Little Johnny is passing his parents' bedroom in the middle of the night, in search of a glass of water. Hearing a lot of moaning and thumping, he peeks in and catches his folks in The Act. Before dad can even react, Little Johnny exclaims "Oh, boy! Horsie ride! Daddy, can I ride on your back?" Daddy, relieved that Johnny's not asking more uncomfortable questions, and seeing the opportunity not to break his stride, agrees. Johnny hops on and daddy starts going to town. Pretty soon mommy starts moaning and gasping. Johnny cries out "Hang on tight, Daddy! This is the part where me and the milkman usually get bucked off!"

there is a new barbie at a local supermarket.
it is called,"divorce barbie".
oh yeah,
It comes with all ken's STUFF!

check dis 1:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=R96j711uSIM&feature=related



-- Edited by Crazypickney at 14:01, 2007-12-27

A few months after his parents were divorced, Little Johnny passed by his mom's bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, "I need a man, I need a man!" Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times. One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her. Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaning, "Ohh, I need a bike! I need a bike!"

watch. The race begins and all the hens start cheering the old rooster on. After the first lap, the old rooster is still maintaining his lead.

After the second lap, the old guy's lead has slipped a little -- but he's still hanging in there. Unfortunately, the old rooster's lead continues to slip each time around, and by the fifth lap he's just barely in front of the young fella. By now the farmer has heard the commotion. He runs into the house, gets his shotgun and runs into the barnyard figuring a fox or something is after his chickens. When he gets there, he sees the two roosters running around the henhouse, with the old rooster still slightly in the lead. He immediately takes his shotgun, aims, fires, and blows the young rooster away.

"Damn. That's the third gay rooster I've bought this month."

[youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=8i4o-AGa1bc]



C'mon.......are u serious???

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5d7xorQ1vn8&feature=related

http://www.worldstarhiphop.com/videos/video.php?v=wshhSnt8sPmeEaKu2u73

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Rr30tpPM4w

v=vrCb_fNmSTA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YFzscy5OuEQ

A mother and her son were flying Air Jamaica from Montego Bay to Miami . The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"

The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the stewardess. So the boy asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"

The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?"   The boy said, "Yes she did".

Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Air Jamaica always pulls out on time. Have your mother explain that to you." 

A young teenaged girl was a prostitute and, for obvious reasons, kept it a secret from her grandma. One day, the police raided a brothel and arrested a group of prostitutes, including the young girl. The prostitutes were instructed to line up in a straight line on the sidewalk. Well, who should be walking in the neighborhood, but little old Grandma. The young girl was frantic.

Sure enough, Grandma noticed her young granddaughter and asked curiously, "What are you lining up for, dear?" Not willing to let grandma in on her little secret, the young girl told her that some people were passing out free oranges and that she was lining up for some.

"Mmm, sounds lovely," said Grandma. "I think I'll have some myself," she continued as she made her way to the back of the line. A police officer made his way down the line, questioning all of the prostitutes. When he got to Grandma, at the end of the line, he was bewildered. "But you're so old... how do you do it?"

Grandma replied, "Oh, it's quite easy, sonny... I just remove my dentures and suck 'em dry!"

Lesson 4
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

A man calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program. 
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck. 
She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. 
The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me." 
Without a second thought, he takes off after her. 
A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up. 
The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. 
On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised. 
He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program. 
The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning and beautiful woman he has ever seen in his life. 
She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me." 
Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. 
This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. 
So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape. 
Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised. 
He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program. 
"Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program.
"Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years." 
The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads,"If I catch you, you are mine!!!" 
He lost 63 pounds that week

-- Edited by pengo at 16:23, 2009-02-02

There once was a lady who was tired of living alone. So she put an ad in the paper which outlined her requirements. She wanted a man who 1) would treat her nicely, 2) wouldn't run away from her, and 3) would be good in bed. Then, one day, she heard the doorbell ring. She answered it, and there on the front porch was a man in a wheel chair who didn't have any arms or legs. 

"I'm here about the ad you put in the paper. As you can see, I have no arms so I can't beat you, and I have no legs so I can't run away from you." 

"Yes, but are you good in bed?" 

"How do you think I rang the doorbell?"

An 80 year old woman was arrested for shop lifting. When she went before the judge in Cincinnati he asked her, 'What did you steal?' 

She replied, 'A can of peaches.' 

The judge then asked her why she had stolen the can of peaches and she replied that she was hungry.

The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can. She replied 6. 

The judge then said, 'I will then give you 6 days in jail.' 

Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment, the woman's husband spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something. 

The judge said, 'What is it?' 

The husband said, 'She also stole a can of peas.'

The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so
pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won
again. The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the
pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. The next day, the local
paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.

This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of
the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The
local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next
day: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of
the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10. The next day the paper
read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10

This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the
donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the
headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE

The bishop was buried the next day.


-- Edited by Garrick at 07:15, 2007-12-14

You are on the bus when you suddenly realize ... You need to fart.
 The music is really loud, so you time your farts with the beat.  After
 a couple of songs, you start to feel better as you approach your stop.
 As you are leaving the bus, people are really staring you down, and
 that's when you realize, you have been listening to your ipod.

A blind Jamaican man walks into a little restaurantand sits down.

The owner walks up to him and hands him a menu.

"Mi blind, sah, an caan se fe read de menu".

Jus bring mi one fork dat one ah yu customah use arreddy, an mi will smell it an order fram it"

A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty dish pile and picks up a greasy fork. He returns to the man's table and hands it to him.

The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deep breath. "Ah, yes, dat's what mi will 'ave - rice nd peas wid jerk fish!"

Unbelievable, and after the blind man leaves, the owner walks towards the kitchen and tells his Wife Dawn, the cook, what just happened.

Several days later, the blind man returns, and the owner mistakenly brings him a menu again.

"Sir, remembah mi? Mi ah de blind man."

"I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you. I'll go get you a fork."

The owner gets a dirty fork for the blind man.

After another deep breath, the blind man says, "Dat smells great! Mi will take de jerk chicken an rice wid broccili."

The owner thinks the blind man is screwing around with him and figures that the next time the man comes in, he's going to test him.

He returns the following week, but this time the owner sees him coming and runs to the kitchen. He tells his wife, "Dawn, rub this fork on your panties." Dawn does it and hands the fork to her husband.

As the blind man walks in and sits down, the owner is ready and waiting.

"Good afternoon, sir, this time I remembered you, and I have your fork ready for you."

The blind man puts the fork to his nose, sniffs, and says, "ra** mon, mi neva know say Dawn wuk yah!"

 tha man get knock tha f*kc out

Bet he's kicking himself now...lol

-- Edited by Jahlenks at 15:46, 2009-02-06

[youtube=]

-- Edited by IWALLACE12 at 22:28, 2009-02-06

Listen to how she gets hype at the guy at the start when she almost runs the car over. She shoulda been nice.

f**king fool a wah him do wid that 

tell me wha unnu think of dem people ya now

---

Dont lift me


mobile shit pit


cyber tiolet


tiolet by rank


shit inna mouth lotrine


lap dance chimney


uuummmmm..............

Joke Of The Day

A Jamaican Poem
You're the ackee in my saltfish
Condensed milk in my tea
The patty in my coco bread
Without you there is no me.

Just like coconut water
You're good for my heart
And Mr.Wray without his nephew
Is like when we are apart.

When you wrap your arms around me
Like banana leaf on blue draaws
There is nothing I wouldnt do for you
You know that im all yours.

I want to be with you always
Like when tin milk get short
An dem marry it with it to de mackerel
to make sure de mackerel get bought.

Like carrot juice on Sunday
Mango in the summertime
I cant get enough of you
Please tell me you will be mine.

A red-head, a brunette and a blonde perform a Post Office robbery. They are on the run from the police and they have to ditch their car and go cross country. They are all getting tired and happen across an old farm with a huge barn. Sneaking inside the barn, they see three old flour sacks. They all hide in separate sacks. The police enter the barn and upon seeing the sacks, kick the first one containing the redhead. The redhead says "Woof!". "Nothing in here but a dog sarge" says the constable. "We'd better move on". They kick the sack containing the brunette. "Miaow!" she says. "Nothing in here but a cat sarge. Better move on". They kick the sack containing the blonde and the blonde says "Potatoes!"

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ORO60XBQ

Watch beyonce ring finger....

-- Edited by BaDRasTa at 22:37, 2009-02-07

A market researcher called at a house and his knock was answered by a young woman with three small children running around her.
He asked her if she minded replying to his questions and when she agreed, he asked her if she knew his company, Cheeseborough-Ponds. When she said no, he mentioned that among their many products was Vaseline and she certainly knew of that product. When asked if she used it, she answered, ''Yes, we use it when we have sexual intercourse.'' 

The interviewer was amazed. He said, ''I always ask that question because everyone uses our product and they always say they use it for the child's bicycle chain, or the gate hinge or some other purpose. But I know that most people really use it for sexual intercourse, they just don't like to say so. Since you've been so frank, could you tell me exactly how you use it?'' 

''We put it on the doorknob to keep the kids out.''

ladies watch who u breed fa

[youtube=]

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