GAYS SHOULD NEVA JOIN THE ARMY NEVA


GUYS SHOULD NEVA MASTURBATE BUT IF U HAVE TO JUST SWICTH HANDS ONCE IN A WHILE OR GO f**k A GIRL



DON'T TRY TO IMPRESS GIRLS U CAN NEVA 4GET




-- Edited by THUGG at 22:12, 2008-08-08

pt.1








pt.2







pt.3

pt.1







pt.2

-- Edited by STUWY77 at 14:59, 2009-03-01

Another of the dangers of modern technology. Imagine this: You are on the bus when you suddenly realize you need to fart. The music is really loud, so you time your farts with the beat. After a couple of songs, you start to feel better. You arrive at your stop. As you are leaving the bus, people are staring at you. Then you realize you have been listening to your ipod.

hehehe

Why Chris Brown attacked Rihanna.

They got in the car right, and Chris wanted 2 pull over to "Take Her Down". but Rihanna said "Shut Up and Drive" So he got tight cuz he didnt get any in "Forever". He tried 2 cut the radio off and she grabbed his hand sayin "Please Dont Stop The Music. This nigga Chris tried to act all "Super Human" and push her shyt away and cut it off . so she picked up an "Umbrella" and tried 2 hit him and he said "Gimme That." Then she bragged about how "Unfaithful" he was and this nigga said "YOOO" n spazzed out n tried to choke her so she could have "No Air" now she gotta go 2 "Rehab". And now she has "Disturbia" from Chris Brown slapping her "Wall To Wall"

-- Edited by junior mafia at 20:11, 2009-02-27

MAD

-- Edited by bLaCkBeatZ at 19:25, 2009-03-01

 

Q: What did the left nut say to the right nut?
A: The guy in the middle thinks he is so hard.

Q: What do you call an anorexic with thrush?
A: Quarter pounder with cheese!

Q: Why did the fish get kicked out of school?
A: Because he was caught with seaweed.

Q: What did the ghost say to the bee?
A: Boo bee.

Q: How to you make a dish washer into a snow blower?
A: Give the bitch a shovel.

Q: What happened to the chinese man who walked into a wall with a boner?
A: He smashed his his nose.

Q:Whats the Diffenence between kinky and perverted?
A: Kinky is when you tickle your girl friends ass with a feather. - Perverted is when you use the whole chicken

Q: Whats the difference between a penis and a bonus?
A: Your wife will always blow your bonus!

A man goes to a fancy dress party wearing nothing but a jamjar on his c**k. A lady asks What are you dressed as? He says a fireman! You break the glass, pull the knob and Ill cum as fast as I can.

A girl went into a doctors office with a Strawberry up her ass, The doctor said Ive got some cream for that.

 

 

 

 

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A woman is at home when she hears someone knock at the door. She goes
To the door and opens the door to see a man standing there.

He asks the lady 'Do you have a vagina'.

She slams the door in disgust.

The next morning she hears a knock at the door and it is the same man
And he asks the same question of the woman 'Do you have a vagina'..

She slams the door again.

Later that night when her husband gets home she tells him what has
Happened for the last two days. The husband tells the wife in a loving
And concerned voice

'Honey I am taking tomorrow off to be home just in case this guy shows
Up again'.

The next morning they hear a knock at the door and both run for the
Door.

The husband says to the wife in a whispered voice 'Honey, I'm
Going to hide behind the door and listen and if it is the same guy I
Want you to answer yes to the question because I want to see where he is going with it'..

She nods yes to her husband and opens the door.

Sure enough the same fellow is standing there and asks the same
Question.

Do you have vagina'.......

'Yes' she says......

The man replies.. 'Good! Would you mind telling your husband to leave my
Wife's' alone and start using yours ?'

American: Porch
Jamaican: Varanda

American: Bathe, Shower
Jamaican: Bade, Hol' A Fresh

American: Collard Greens, Spinach
Jamaican: Callaloo

American: Stick Shift (Car)
Jamaican: Standard

American: Charge It
Jamaican: Trus' It

American: Can You Give Me A Lift To The Corner
Jamaican: Beg Yu A Ride Go Dung Di Street Noh Sah

American: Oh My God!
Jamaican: Lawd A Mercy

American: Excuse Me
Jamaican: Beg Yu Pardon

American: "You Wanna Fight?", Or "You Want A Piece Of Me"
Jamaican: "Touch A Button!" "Touch A Button"

American: Where Are You Going?
Jamaican: Weh Yuh Deh Go?

American: Excuse Me
Jamaican: Gi Mi Pass

American: Sorry
Jamaican: Hush

American: The Shoes Is A Little Tight
Jamaican: Lawd Di Boot A Bun Mi

American: Oh Stop It You're Killing Me
Jamaican: Lawd Ma Top Eh Man Yuh A Go Kill Me

American: I Do Not Practice Oral Sex
Jamaican: Mi Nuh Bow!!!

American: Look There!
Jamaican: Koo Deh

American: "Whatever"
Jamaican: "Man, Yuh Backside Yah Man"

American: Your Mother Is So Ugly...
Jamaican: Yuh Mumma Ugly Lakka Mi Nuh Know Wha...

American: Perm Hair
Jamaican: Cream Head

American: 10:Pm, 10:30, 15 Of 10
Jamaican: 10 A'clack, Half Pass 10, Quarta To 10

American: Attention Deficit
Jamaican: Hard Ears!

American: Dyslectic
Jamaican: Dunce Bat!

American: 4x 4 Truck
Jamaican: Van

American: Open The Hood
Jamaican: Fly Di Bonnet

American: Fly Guy
Jamaican: Cha-Cha Bwaay

American: Can I Have A Loose Paper
Jamaican: Beg Yuh A Folder Leaf

American: Pants Leg
Jamaican: Trousers Foot

American: Freeze Ice
Jamaican: Kisko-Pop

American: Dynatap, Theraflu, Robotussin, Midol, Tyenol
Jamaican: Mint Tea

American: Close The Cupboard
Jamaican: Shet Di Cabinet

American: Shooping Cart
Jamaican: Trolley

American: I Am Going To The Movies
Jamaican: Mi A Goh A Show

American: I Really Do Like You
Jamaican: Yow Baby! Mi Check Fi Yuh Bad Yuh Noh Star!

American: You Mean That Really Sexy Girl From Out Of Town?
Jamaican: You Mean Dah Strang Bady Gyal Deh From Country?

American: Homosexual/Lebsbian
Jamaican: Batty Bwoy/Natty Gyal

American: Birth Certificate
Jamaican: Bert Cer-Fi-Ticket

American: That Happened By Chance
Jamaican: A Buck Up Dat, A Buck Up!

American: Viagra
Jamaican: One Guiness, One Stick A Weed, One Bowl A Peanut Parriage, Or Simply A Piece A "Stone"

American: He Is Impotent
Jamaican: A Ole Wutless Bwoy, Yuh Nuh si seh him nuh have nuh use?

BIRD 2 - 0 HUMAN

Housework was a woman's job, but one evening, Jenny arrived home from work to find the children bathed, one load of laundry in the washer and another in the dryer. Dinner was on the stove, and the table set. She was astonished!

It turns out that Ralph had read an article that said, 'Wives who work full-time and had to do their own housework were too tired to have
sex'.

The night went very well. The next day, she told her office friends all about it. 'We had a great dinner. Ralph even cleaned up the kitchen. He helped the kids do their homework, folded all the laundry and put it away. I really enjoyed the evening.'

'But what about afterward?' asked her friends.

'Oh, that ..., Ralph was too tired..'

 We truly are a wise people.

At a U2 concert in Ireland, Bono, the lead singer, asks the audience
for some quiet, and then he slowly starts to clap his hands.
Holding the audience in total silence, he says into the microphone,
"I want you to think about something; every time I clap my hands, a
child in Africa dies."
A Jamaican in the front yells out,
"Den stop clap yu rass han, nuh man!!!"

PT.1

 

PT.2

           

2 WOMEN IN HEAVEN

1st woman :  Hi!  My name is Wanda.

2nd woman :  Hi!  I'm Kelly.  How'd you die?

1st woman :  I Froze to Death.

2nd woman :  How Horrible!

1st woman :  It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I
Began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death.  What
About you?

2nd woman :  I died of a massive heart attack.  I suspected that my
Husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act.
But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.

1st woman:  So, what happened?

2nd woman :  I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that
I started running all over the house looking.  I ran up into the attic
And searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every
Closet and checked under all the beds.  I kept this up until I had
Looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled
Over with a heart attack and died.

1st woman :  Too bad you didn't look in the freezer--- we'd both still
Be alive.   

run afoul da law? me nuh chicken

why men turn out the way they are

Family members of a 43 year-old, farmer who hails from the Cornwall Mountain area of Westmoreland on Friday complained to this special investigator that they are now very concerned as to his well being this after he allegedly attempted to take his own life by drinking rat poison just minutes after accusing his common-law wife of cheating on him.

The name of the farmer is being withheld for safety reasons, but the family insisted that they want members of the public to be aware of his intentions in case the incident should occur again.

According to them the common-law couple has been together for the past 15 years with the woman being a higgler at the Charles Gordon Market in Montego Bay. Each week, the woman travels to the market where she sells ground produce. However, since January of this year the farmer has been complaining to family members that he suspects her of having an affair with a motor car driver who as been taking her home every afternoon.

He grew very jealous and on Wednesday while they were both at home he reportedly attacked her physically after questioning her as to weather or not she was giving him bun with the taxi man.

She informed him that she was not a child and she is big enough to take care of herself and drive home with whomsoever she pleases.
The conversation did not go too well and the farmer reportedly brandished a machete. But, according to the relatives, she is no walkover and she retaliated by using a piece of board to slap him three times.

He walked from the house cursing and went beneath a tree at the rear of the premises. Several minutes later, she had just finished dinner when she called out to him and noticed that he was not responding. She went to investigate and found him in a crouching position holding his stomach and groaning.

On the ground beside him was a bag of powdery rat poison and a cup with what appeared to be the said substance dissolved in water. The frightened woman raised an alarm and he was immediately taken to the doctor by family members. She informed them that she was not having an affair but she could not convince her boyfriend who wishes her to only travel home by bus in the nights.

The farmer was reportedly treated and cautioned by the doctor. He is now back at home but is being closely watched by the family members who fear that he may make another attempt.

A Jamaican woman was walking along the banks of Dunn's River Falls
when she stumbled upon an old empty bottle. She picked it up and rubbed
it, and lo-and-behold a Genie appeared. She talked with him awhile then the Genie told her he would grant her ONE wish. She said she heard from a cousin that she would get three wishes if she ever found a Genie. The Genie said, "Naw - Ah no so it go - three-wish genies ah duppy story. I & I is a ONE-WISH Genie. So ... wha yuh a say? The woman didn't hesitate. She said, "I want peace in the Middle East. See this map, I want these countries to stop fighting with each other and I want all the Arabs to love Jews and Americans and vice-versa. It will bring about world peace and harmony. The Genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Lawd Lady, A wah wrang wid
yu? BE REASONABLE NUH MAN! Dem deh country ah fight dem one anoder fe
thousands a year now.. I man out a shape after me inna de bottle fe five
hundred years. Me good, but NOT THAT GOOD!!! Me nuh think it can be
done. PLEASE mek another wish and me a beg yu ... BE REASONABLE."
The woman thought for a minute and said, "Well, I've never been able to
find the right Jamaican man ... You know, one that Doesn't Drink Too Much

     

A moment of your time

HAHAHAHA

Jamaicans strike again. DONKEY RAFFLE: Jamaican: 'yu have no cow a sell????'     

Scientists have developed a new drug, especially for treating lesbians who are depressed. Struggling to find a name for this wonder drug, they eventually came up with Trydixagan

Probably hav 2 m8k a glow in da dark ball wit all these load shedding going on