Sixteen year old Jonny asks his father "Dad, what does a vagina look like?" "Well" said the father knowingly, "It has two looks. Before sex it looks like a beautiful rose with folds." "What about after sex?" asked the son. "Well" said the father "Have you ever seen a bulldog eating porridge?"

IS HE/SHE OK????

It is six o'clock in the morning and a husband and his wife are asleep when suddenly the phone rings. The husband picks up the phone and before he can say anything, some talking came from the other end of the line and the husband says "How the heck do I know - what am I, the weather man?" and promptly slams the phone down. His wife rolls over and asks, "Who was that?" The husband replies, "I don't know, it was some bloke who wanted to know if the coast was clear."

A small guy goes into an elevator and notices a huge guy standing next to him. The big guy looks down on the small white guy and says, "Seven foot tall, three hundred fifty pounds, twenty-inch dick, three-pound left ball, three-pound right ball, Turner Brown." 

The small guy faints! 

The big guy picks up the small guy and brings him to, slapping his face and shaking him. He asks the small guy, "What's wrong?" 

The small guy says, "Excuse me, but what did you say?" 

The big guy looks down and says "Seven foot tall, three hundred fifty pounds, twenty-inch dick, three- pound left ball, three-pound right ball, my name is Turner Brown." 

The small guy says, "Thank God, I thought you said, "Turn around."

:

MI TINK MI DID UGLY......BUT DEM PPLE YA BEAT I BY FAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

True story, I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else. One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldnt overcome and didnt really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and couldnt say a word. She said, Im going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me. I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car. My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldnt ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.

The moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car.

no sah

DA UTE U TEL LIE FI NO REASON......IF U AGREE LEAVE UR COMMENT

-- Edited by Konvict© on Tuesday 23rd of March 2010 06:16:33 PM

This guy wakes up out of a deep sleep and, feeling real horny, nudges his wife awake and asks, "Why don't we get it on, eh?"

She replies, "I have an appointment at the gynecologist tomorrow and you know I don't like to make love the night before."

So the husband agrees and rolled back over and started to go back to sleep. A few minutes later, he nudges his wife again and asks, "You don't by any chance have a dentist's appointment tomorrow, do you?"

BIGWOMANTING..........SHE NEED FI TAP NYAM YA NOW...but stilll some a di bredda dem like dem fluffy...

ewwwwwww

-- Edited by *~*~Sweet Applezz*~*~ on Saturday 20th of March 2010 03:21:44 PM

Husband says, "My Olympic condoms have arrived, so tonight I am going to wear a gold one."

Wife says, "Why dont you wear a silver one and come second for a fuc k ing change."


-- Edited by dappa75wifie on Tuesday 23rd of March 2010 02:54:37 PM

-- Edited by dappa75wifie on Tuesday 23rd of March 2010 02:56:18 PM

I saw this pic on a message board and I cracked up laughing! Rapper Jay Z, who still wears his pants on the ground at age 41, is never going to retire. As this hilarious pic suggests, Jigga will still be making records when hes 90 and hobbling around on an iced out cane.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I51TDIq6DBw

-- Edited by jubalson on Monday 15th of March 2010 10:00:02 AM

1.At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 
2.Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice! 

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that. 

4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks . Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Marijuana".
6. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.
7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 

8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

9. Sing Along At The Opera.
10. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.
11. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'
12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!' 

13. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'


And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity

14.PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOMIS.

Send This E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile. It's Called...THERAPY


Enjoy The Ride, Life is Short!!

WONDER WERE HE IS OFF 2???

A WHA KINDA PASTRY THIS TO R.A.AS?

-- Edited by jubalson on Sunday 28th of February 2010 10:00:37 PM

Q. What did one gay sperm say to the other gay sperm?
A. I can't see a thing with all this %&%* in here.

--

-- Edited by Kerry Star on Tuesday 15th of September 2009 11:31:46 PM

-- Edited by KrYsIs on Sunday 28th of February 2010 09:27:09 AM

Blaze aka false prophet wrote 1m, 28s ago:

mixX_mAster_ChuCx wrote 7s ago: dj scruffy hun ... uth luuuu

-- Edited by LaDy J on Monday 15th of March 2010 09:39:32 AM

'Somebody should take that guy's knife away'

Kristopher

how u so cruel

had to put ma biz all out there

9:01amNaz

WAT IS UR BIZZ

ITS ON FACEBOOK

LOL

KICK

HOW IT B UR BIZZ

BOX UP

9:01amKristopher

lol

well the winnings should only be between me and u

nobody else has to know

9:02amNaz

SHUT UP

9:02amKristopher

naz y u deal wid me suh

a so u rough to u man

or u is just me

9:03amNaz

CESSS

U A GURL

?

9:04amKristopher

me nuh use to girl a talk suh me deal wid proper girls zeen

girls wah have class

zeen

me nuh waan nuh girl a bad me up

lol

a joke me a mek

iyah how u suh

9:05amNaz

WELL SINCE THIS b!$%h NAW NUH CLASSS

FEEL FREE FI SHUT UP NOW

9:05amKristopher

relax baby

i jokin babes

9:05amNaz

CAZ ME NUH USE TO MAN WEH JSU CHAT CHAT

9:05amKristopher

jeeeezzz

9:05amNaz

BRB

9:05amKristopher

u nuh see me jus seh that

me waan u still enuh

naz me waan **** u enuh

or make love to u

lol

u know i want yah

unnu dos

a d style deh she want

>>>>>>>>>>>

>>>>>>>>>>>>>

>>>>>>>>>>

a lie yah tell

lol

lol

9:09amNaz

****A U

LOOOOOOOOL

9:09amKristopher

lol

gweh u shoulda glad seh me a look pon u