Forum: Funny Stuff
Viagra head office seriously. |
LMAO....PREE THIS VID...LMAO...-------------some ppl fool!
A husband asks his wife:
'How many men have you slept with?'
Thewife proudly replies:
'Only you darling, with all the others, I was awake'
Little Johnny replies "The feet miss"
So the teacher says "Why the feet?"
And Little Johnny says "Because when I go in my mummys bedroom at night she has her legs in the air shouting 'Oh my God I'm coming'"
DONT HIT KIDS..........THEY HAVE GUNS NOW................LMAO
-- Edited by Dagga16 on Wednesday 12th of May 2010 08:50:29 PM
Little Johnny waves his hand, 'Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!'
Miss Rogers:'All right, little Johnny, what is your multi-syllable word?'
Little Johnny says, 'Mas-tur-bate.'
Miss Rogers smiles and says, 'Wow, little Johnny, that's a mouthful.'
Little Johnny says, 'No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob
-- Edited by camman on Wednesday 12th of May 2010 03:34:41 PM
ARTISTES COMPLAIN ABOUT BEING NEW TARGETS OF GUN VIOLENCE
The wife did not want to get pregnant yet and requested the husband to buy condoms from the shop nearby.
When the husband went out, the wife waited anxiously in the room with all the lights switched off.
The husband had a hard time finding a shop that sold condoms and when he finally found one, he realized that he had only one 20 cents coin.
He asks the shop owner to sell him one condom and the shop owner asked him which quality he wanted.
'The white condom, lowest quality, is 15 cents each. The black condom, average quality, is 20 cents each. And the purple condom,highest quality, is 25 cents each.' So the husband took the black condom as he had only 20 cents.
While the husband was out, a Black thief came into the room.The wife did not notice and thought that it was her husband. She grabbed the thief and happily started screwing.
The wife was so exhausted that she fell asleep immediately. When the husband re ache d the hotel, he found his wife sleeping.
Without a warning, he jumped onto her and started screwing her vigorously. The wife was surprised that the husband was so energetic and she thoroughly enjoyed the session.
Nine months later, the wife gave birth to a Black baby boy. When the boy grew up, he asked the father. 'Papa, why am I Black and you are White?'
The father shouted 'You are damn lucky, 5 cents more and you would have been PURPLE!'â¦â¦â¦.
Hahahaha
A NUFF WOMAN WOULDA DEH WID DA "MAN" YAH.........LOLZZZ
LOL ZONE UNO TELL ME IF A MAN OR WOMAN DIISSS CUZ I DONT KNOOOOOO A WAH LMAO
JAMAICA OBSERVER EDITORIAL CARTOONS (2 WEEKS IN REVIEW)
'I don't mind coming to work, but this eight hour wait
to go home isjust plain bull%&%*!'
Show Me Your Genitals!!! - For All Women On The Zone [Funny as hell!!!]
A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Enzo, has cheated
him out of 10 million bucks. His bookkeeper is deaf.
That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was
assumed that Enzo would hear nothing that he might have to
testify about in court.
When the Godfather goes to confront Enzo about his missing $10
million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language.
The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the 10 million bucks
is that he embezzled from me."
The lawyer, using sign language, asks Enzo where the money is.
Enzo signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about."
The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you
are talking about."
The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Enzo's temple and
says, "Ask him again!"
The lawyer signs to Enzo, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him."
Enzo signs back, "OK. You win! The money is in a brown briefcase,
buried behind the shed in my cousin Bruno's backyard in Woodbridge!"
The Godfather asks the lawyer, "What did he say?"
The lawyer replies, "He says you don't have the balls to pull the
trigger."
Dumbazz Of The Week: Guy Accidently Washes His Hands In Pee & Then Runs Into A Port-O-Pottie To Finish The Deal!
Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one Micheal j fox has a small one Madonna doesn't have one the pope has one but he never uses it Bill Clinton Has one and he uses it all the time! What is it?
cow, an ant and an arsehole are debating on who is the greatest of the three of them.
Cow: I give 50 litres of milk every day and that's why I am the greatest!!
Ant: I work day and night, summer and winter, I can carry 52 times my own weight and that's
why I am the greatest!!
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Why are you scrolling down? It's your turn now--- Say something............!!!
-- Edited by LaDy J on Wednesday 5th of May 2010 05:43:04 PM
WHEN I SAY I'M BROKE....I'M BROKE !!!............DWRL !!!!!!!!!!!!
A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, to beconfronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.
'Good morning,' said the young man. 'If I could take a couple
Minutes ofyour time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-poweredvacuum cleaners...
' 'Go away!' said the old lady. ''I'm broke and haven't got any money!'' andshe proceeded to close the door.
Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door
And pushed itwide open... ''Don't be too hasty!'' he said. ''Not until
You have at leastseen my demonstration.''
And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her
Hallway carpet.
''Now, if this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this
Horsemanure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat
The remainder.''
The old lady stepped back and said, ''Well let me get you a fork, 'causethey cut off my electricity this morning."
-- Edited by LaDy J on Thursday 6th of May 2010 05:25:57 PM
-- Edited by LaDy J on Thursday 6th of May 2010 05:30:25 PM
MAN RUN INN PON SNOOP DOG AND GET BOX ! LOOOOOL
WOOOOOOOOW!!!! IF YOU THOUGH MO'NIQUE'S HAIRY LEGS WERE OFF THE CHAINS . . . GET A LOAD OF THIS CHICK!!!!
"Oh, Michael, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face."
Michael replied, "My wife loves this beard, I couldnt possibly do it. She would kill me!"
"Oh, please?" the girlfriend asked again in a sexy little voice.
"Really, I cant," he replied. "My wife loves this beard!"
The girlfriend asked once more, and he sighed and finally gave in.
That night, Michael crawled into bed with his wife while she was sleeping.
The wife woke up somewhat, felt his face, and replied "Oh, Jeffrey, you shouldnt be here. My husband will be home soon!"
So they all agree and are admitted in. The first guy makes it a week before he lies about how rich he was on Earth. Bam! Right at his side appears the ugliest woman he had ever seen.
The second guy makes it another couple weeks before he lies about how smart he is. Bam! At his side appears the second ugliest woman in the universe.
So the first two guys are walking around with their monsters of women when they see their third friend walking with the hottest woman ever conceived by man. The first two guys say in unison, "How did you land with that babe when we get stuck with these nasty women?"
He nudges the babe and says, "Tell them." She says to the first two guys, "I lied."
As one thing leads to another, the woman reaches into her purse and suddenly gasps, "We have to stop, I forgot to bring birth control!"
"No problem," her lover replies. "Ill get my wifes diaphragm." After a few minutes of searching, he returns to the bedroom in a fury.
"That witch!" he exclaims. "She took it with her! I always knew she didnt trust me!"
Rachel price - caribbean queen of comedy- this woman is crazy
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Cartoon Parody: Lil Wayne ft. Gucci Mane, Lil Boosie, and Birdman - "Give Me My Freedom" [Funny as hell!!]
RICH WIDOW LOOKING FOR MAN TO SHARE LIFE AND FORTUNE ...NEEDS TO HAVE THESE QUALIFICATIONS:
1) WONT BEAT ME UP
2) WONT RUN AWAY
3) HAS TO BE GREAT IN BED
For several months, her phone rang off the hook, her doorbell was ringing constantly, she received tons of mail, etc., all to no avail: none seemed to match her qualifications.
Then one day the doorbell rang yet again. She opened the door to find a man with no arms and no legs lying on the welcome mat.
Perplexed, she asked, "Who are you? And what do you want?"
"Hi," he said, " your search is over, for Im the man of your dreams. Ive got no arms so I cant beat you up and no legs so I cant run away."
"Well, then," she said, "what makes you think that youre so great in bed?"
To which he replied,..... "Well, I rang the doorbell, didnt I?
tek a pree
ALWAYS ASK, NEVER ASSUME!!
His request approved, the CNN News photographer quickly used a cell phone to call the local airport to charter a flight.
He was told a twin-engine plane would be waiting for him at the airport.
Arriving at the airfield, he spotted a plane warming up outside a hanger.
He jumped in with his bag, slammed the door shut, and shouted, 'Let's go'.
The pilot taxied out, swung the plane into the wind and took off.
Once in the air, the photographer instructed the pilot, 'Fly over the valley and make low passes so I can take pictures of the fires on the hillsides.'
'Why?' asked the pilot.
'Because I'm a photographer for CNN', he responded, 'and I need to get some close up shots.'
The pilot was strangely silent for a moment, finally he stammered, 'So, what you're telling me, is . . . You're NOT my flight instructor?'
"Life is short.
Drink the good wine first"
The Polite way to Pee.....................dwrl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
manners, asked her students the following question:
"Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady,
how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"
Michael said, "Just a minute I have to go pee."
The teacher responded by saying, "That would be rude and impolite.
What about you Sherman, how would you say it?"
Sherman said, "I'm sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom.
I'll be right back."
"That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom
at the dinner table. And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain
for once and show us your good manners?"
"I would say, 'Darling, may I please be excused for a moment?
I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to
introduce you to after dinner."
The teacher fainted
An old nun, who was living in a convent next to a construction site,
cringed at the coarse language of the workers and decided to spend some
time with them and thereby improve their manners and correct their ways.
She decided she would take her lunch, sit with the workers
and talk with them. She put her sandwich in a brown bag and walked over
to the spot where the men were eating.
She walked up to the group and with a big smile said:
"And do you men know Jesus Christ?"
They shook their heads.
One of the workers looked up into the steelworks and yelled out,
"Anybody up there know Jesus Christ?"
A steelworkers yelled down: 'Why'?
The worker yelled back, "His wife is here with his lunch"
mans wife jumps from her sleep and said,"
in my dream i saw big dicks for 100$, medium for 50$ and small for
20$".the husban said "did u see any like mines"? she said"yes it was for
free".The vexed husband goes to sleep then jumps up and says "In my
dream there were p**sy's for sale ukku bit for 100$ hold u man for 5...0$ n
goodaz fa 20$". The wife said did "u c any like mines"? and he said
yes!! a in deh di sale keep
FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.
FAKE FRIENDS: Never seen you cry.
REAL FRIENDS: Cry with you.
FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAL FRIENDS: Keep your stuff so long they forget its yours.
FAKE FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say IM HOME!
FAKE FRIENDS: Are for a while.
REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.
LMAOOOOO LOOK PON SERANI.MAVADO KArtel.adiona lmaoooooooooooo
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