-- Edited by hyperactive sound on Thursday 27th of May 2010 12:31:03 AM

HI party fans it's for the first time when DUDUS presents a nite and day affairs called"STATE OF EMERGENCY" @ tivoli gardens. dresscode: Bullet proof vest n Clarks.MUSIC by: Danger Zone, Copper shot and *lo** line. After party @ meadowrset & Dovecot.. 2 mis is 2 dis!!

REAL THING

-- Edited by L4nd0 on Tuesday 25th of May 2010 04:51:36 PM

DA ONE YAH NUH NAWMAL A BBC

-- Edited by gamepun on Wednesday 26th of May 2010 09:11:00 AM

-- Edited by Zone Piru on Friday 21st of May 2010 01:07:03 PM

Wild Jamaican Sex!

A married couple was on holiday in Jamaica. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such when they passed this small sandal shop. From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a Jamaican accent say, "You foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop!" So the married couple walked in. The Jamaican said to them, "I have some special sandals I think you would be interested in. Dey make you wild at sex." Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being the sex God he was. The husband asked the man, "How could sandals make you into a sexfreak?" The Jamaican replied, "Just try dem on, Man." Well, the husband, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in, and tried them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes... something his wife hadn't seen in many years!! In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Jamaican, bent him violently over a table, yanked down his pants, and ripped down his own pants, The Jamaican then began screaming, "YOU GOT DEM ON DE WRONG FEET!!! YOU GOT DEM ON DE WRONG FEET!!!

Spoiler

FOCKA UNNUH LOVE WAR TOO MUCH...GO PICK UP A b****0dc.aat boook kmt

-- Edited by KrYsIs on Saturday 22nd of May 2010 12:48:33 PM

-- Edited by SLICE BREAD on Sunday 23rd of May 2010 07:55:44 PM

LONG TIME WE KNOW ILL-MATIC AH WHALE BUT NO SAH....MAN ALL DEFEND HIM MAN NOW HIM GET CALL OUT IN PUBLIC....

A hippie sits next to a nun on the bus and asks her if he could have sex with her, she said "NO! I am married to God!!" and gets off the bus disgusted. The bus driver said "she prays every Tuesday night at midnight in the grave yard, why don't you dress up in a hooded robe go to the grave yard tell her you are God and demand sex?" The hippie tries this and to his surprise the nun said "yes but only if we have anal sex as I want to keep my virginity" They have passionate bum sex and when they are done the hippie throws off his robe and cries" ha ha" I'm the hippie! The nun cries out "ha ha" I'm the bus driver!!

UNITED STATES NAVY

KEEP ALL EYES ON DAKE MEN


REPUBLIC OF TIVOLI
DUDUS DI BA++YBOY AMERICAN DEM AVE BIG RA-SS SHIP OUTTA SEA WAH WI FI DO

DON DUDUS
LINE UP DI SHIP WI AGO AMBUSH DEM TONITE...DEM NAW GO SEE WAH AH FORWUD DEM WAY


SHHHHH NUH MEK NUH NOSIE!!!!!!!!!

UNITED STATES NAVY
SIR WE CAN SEE ENEMY MOVEMENT SIR

OPEN FIREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE




UNITED STATES NAVY
SIR WE GOT THE ENEMY



REPUBLIC OF TIVOLI
JAHKNO DON DI DUTTY BOY DEM KILL ALL A DI THUGS DEM STAR!!!
WAH WI FI DO?

DON DUDUS
SEND OUT WI SECRET WEAPON TELL DI MAN DEM AH COUNTRY WI NEED DI WEAPON NOW



TELL MAN FOR BACKBUSH FI LINK UP DI SECRET WEAPON AH
TIME FI DI PU55Y DEM GO BAQ AH DEM b****-*o*dcL@T COUNTRY...



RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWW
KILLL DI PU55YH0LE DEM...



UNITED STATES ARMY

RETREAT MEN RUN FOR IT THE HELL WITH JAMICA AND DUDUS THESE GUY 
HEAD GONE THERE SICK HEAD NUH GOOD RETEAT...........




REPUBLIC OF TIVOLI
AH SUH WI DO TING A YARD







-- Edited by djharry on Thursday 20th of May 2010 08:51:26 PM

http://www.megavideo.com/?v=5AHUGC03

How is a woman like a condom?
Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.

What's the difference between love, true love and showing off?
Spitting, swallowing and gargling


What do a gynecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common?
They can both smell it but can't eat it.


What should you do if you girlfriend starts smoking?
Slow down and use a lubricant

What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild?
Money.

What's the definition of a male chauvinist pig?
A man who hates every bone in a woman's body, except his own.

Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds?
Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.

What do blondes and the Bermuda triangle have in common?
They've both swallowed a lot of semen.

How can you spot the blind guy at the nudist colony?
It's not hard.



Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony?
She is the one who can eat the last donut!

What's the difference between a pick pocket and a peeping Tom?
A pick pocket snatches watches.





-- Edited by Ill-matic on Wednesday 19th of May 2010 07:32:17 AM

HABLA: GOOD MORNING, GOOD AFTERNOON AND GOOD NIGHT MEDIAZONERS....THE FIRST SIGN OF TROUBLE HAS STARTED IN WHAT APPEARS TO BE WARNING SHOTS FIRED BY THE SECURITY PERSONNELS AT THE ENTRANCE OF TIVOLI GARDENS...WE NOW HAVE STEPPZ AT THE SCENE....UMM HELLO STEPPZ WHAT DO U HAVE FOR US

STEPPZ: *GIMMI A CALL LATER HEAR BABES*

UMM *CLEAR THROAT* HELLOW...YES YES CAN U HEAR ME? A LIKKLE WHILE AGO, MI COME DUNG YAH AND WE GOT A TIP FROM OUT ANONYMOUS SOURCE(TOMMY) AND HIM SEH POLICE MAN DEM FIRE SHOT  OUT IN THE CROWD..NOW THE SUPERINTENDENT IN CHARGE SAID, SOMEONE CAME UP AND THREW A PAIR OF CLARKS AT HIM AND GUNSHOTS WERE FIRED

THE ANGRY RESIDENTS HAD THIS TO SAY

MAFIA7: NUTTIN NUH GUH SO, IS LIE DEM TELLING....MI A GAH GAH GAH GAH SHOP YUH ZIMMI AND SAME TIME ONE A DI BOY DEM DRAPE MI UP, HIM LOOK LIKE TOPSHOTTA AND HIM TEK THE GUN HANGLE AND LICK MI INNA MI STOMACH...AND JAH KNOW...MI NAAH TEK IT INNO, NI NAAH TEK IT MI VEX

NAZ: DEM LIKKLE DUTTY BOY YAH....ALL OF A SUDDEN MI SEE DEM DRAPE UP MI LIKKLE CUZINE AND BEAT HIM AND MI HAFFI SEH "JESUS CHRIST A WASTE MAN....NUH KILL HIM!!!" GOD KNOWS DEM A GWAAN BAD/.....ANYWAY MI DEH PON BESS FM EVERY THURSDAY MORNING AND MI JUST WAAH BIG UP GIRL POWER AND HEYY NICO!!!!! AMARI, MUMMY LOVE U

STEPPZ: OK, THING SORTA TENSE DOWN ERE YEAH, BUT AS SOON AS WE HAVE MORE NEWS, WE ARE HERE ON STANDBY....BACK TO U HABLA

HABLA: OK THANK STEPPZ, WE WILL HAVE MORE NEWS AS THIS STORY DEVELOPS

-- Edited by gamepun on Thursday 20th of May 2010 12:04:06 PM

 DONT KNO IF ANYBODY SEE DIS ALREADY
BUT IT DID FUNNY

APPLEZ: GOOD MORNING, GOOD AFTERNOON, GOOD NIGHT ZONERS

YESTERDAY I DID AN EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH THE WARLORD HIMSELF, MR.RODNEY PRICE AKA. BOUNTY KILLER IN WHICH I ASKED HIM ABOUT THE SITUATION WITH HIS VISA AND THE DUDUS ISSUE AND THE GOVERNMENT  AND THIS IS WHAT HE HAD TO SAY

WHATS YOUR OPINON ON GOVERNMENT'S APPROACH TO THE PPL?

KILLA: WELL I SEE THESE FOLITICIANS TALKING ABOUT JUSTICE. BUT ALL I SEE IS JUST THIS..........THEY TEARIN DOWN THE YUTES SO THEY HAVE 2 RUN TAXI WID HONDA ACCORD, SO WHEN POLICE TEK WEH DI VEHICLE THEY HAVE TO PROTEST AND PUT UP PLACARDS AND I REALLY HAVE TO WONDER IF ITS THAT HARD

SO U FEEL THAT BRUCE IS DOING HIS JOB?

BRUCE IS NOT PLEASING, HE'S JUST TEASING, NO INVESTMENTS, NUTTIN TO PUT FEAS IN,U.S TEK WEH WI VISA WITHOUT REASON LIKE WE DEH PON PPL LAND TREASON

SO WITHOUT UR U.S VISA...ISNT IT DIFFICULT IN THE MUSIC INDUSTRY??

IM NOT FEELING PRESSURED LIKE OTHER ARTIST...CAUSE I HAVE DONES ALL I CAN..SO JUST LIVING IS THE PLAN........BUT ON A PERSONAL LEVEL..ALL I GOT LEFT TO DOES IS CRIES EYEWATER CAUSE WHO A GUH HELP MI SUPPORT MI 3 SONS AND 4 DAUGHTER....SO I FEEL IT FOR MY SELF AND DJ'S WE NAAH GET NUH REAL PLAY

WITH ALL THE VIOLENCE THATS HAPPENING TO PPL AND ARTST..AND THE GOVERNMENT BLAMING IT ON THE MUSIC, WATS UR TAKE

THEY KEEP SAYING DJ'S DOIN THIS AND THAT AND TALKING CRAP TO THE MAXES OF THE MASSES, LIKKLE BOY I PAYS MY TAXES...AS I MATTER OF FACT I WAAH SEE AUDLEYY AND GIVE HIM COUPLE BOXES....

THEY SAY MONKEY SEE MONKEY DO...ARTIST ARE JUST THE VOICE OF THE PPL...SO THEY TREAT US LIKE WE LIVE IN DECIET, I MAKE SURE I PAYS MY TAXES...SHARON BURKE HAS THE RECIEPT

FINAL QUESTION: WHAT DO U HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THE DUDUS ISSUE?

SO U COME TO ME ASK BOUT DUDUS, AND SAY THATS THE FINAL QUESTION...I ARE ASK U TO FIND A POWER BUTTON ON UR CAMERA AND PRESS ONE........THE PPL HAVE SPOKEN..NO MORE JOKING....DEM BORED A PEACE AND REVENGE WILL BE THE FINAL TASTE....GOVERNMENT NEED A SLAP WID A PIECE A BORED...SUCK UNU MUMMA DEM....GET THE CAMERA OUTTA MII FACE

-- Edited by gamepun on Thursday 20th of May 2010 01:38:13 PM

It's mad!! lol

1. I cant reach my license unless you hold my beer.

2. Sorry, I didnt realize my radar detector wasnt on.

3. Arent you the guy from the Village People?

4. Hey, you must have been going 125 mph just to keep up with me!

5. I thought you had to be in good physical condition to be a cop.

6. Bad cop! No donut!

7. Youre gonna check the trunk, arent you?

8. I was going to be a cop, really, but I decided to finish high school instead.

9. I pay your salary.

10. Thats terrific, the last guy only gave me a warning also.

11. Is that a 9mm? Its nothing compared to this .44 magnum!

12. What do you mean, have I been drinking? Youre a trained specialist?

13. Do you know why you pulled me over? Good, at least one of us does.

14. That gut doesnt inspire too much confidence; bet I can outrun you.

15. Didnt I see you get your butt kicked on Cops?

16. Is it true people become cops because theyre too dumb to work at McDonalds?

17. I was trying to keep up with traffic.

18. Yes, I know there are no other cars aroundThats how far they are ahead of me.

19. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fåell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.

20. this is cocaine i thought that guy was giving me heroin

21. man that's a tiny gun, mines much bigger

22. would you like to see my butterfly knife

23. Sure there must be officers that weren't pushed around as a kid.

24. If I told you you were an asshole, you would even believe it!

25. Please tell your mother I want my Nike's back.

26. no officer i aint drunk, im just high

27. sure heres my regis-... u got some white powder on your lips

28. u stopped me cuzz im black or because my car is black?

29. did u drop your glaze donughts on your pants when u seen me hit 110?

30. how did ur fat ass earn that badge?

31. who the hell told u i was driving drunk? was it Adam? that mother ****er*throws up*

32 Wheres the camera am i going to be on the show cops?!?! HI mom!!! oh wait...

32. I thought you were giving me an escourt

33. I swear to Drunk ociffer im not god.

34. I'd like to remain silent.

35. I swear she told me she was 18

36. Officer: i have been waiting for an asshole like you all day to go flying by me.
You: well i knew you were waiting so i tried my best to hurry

-- Edited by NoKTurnaL on Tuesday 11th of May 2010 12:37:26 AM

Dude doesnt know when to stopeven while unconscious.

1-


9. Boxer Cant Get In The Ring
Either this guy has taken too many shots to the head, or hes just plain stupid, but those ropes are his worst nightmare.
2-

3-8. Punch Drunk Knockout
This guy reminds me of the dude at the party who has had too much to drink, but still tries to have a normal conversation. Needless to say, he always ends up on the floor like this guy

7. Who NECKS?!
This boxer wants to know Who necks?! after knocking out his opponent, and the announcers are left confused at the end.

6. Boxer Knocked Out Over The Top Rope
This would be perfect for one of those old


5. Double Knockout
Not only is it rare enough for two opponents to get knocked down at the same time, but its straight up embar****ing if you get back up and get knocked out with the very next punch.

OK ON BEHALF A ME, JOLLYJO AND SUGAR AND MADEST, WE NEED TO SET UP OUR OWN NEWS NETWORK TO EXPOSE FULL COVERAGE OF THE POSSIBLE WAR THAT WILL TAKE PLACE BETWEEN THE GUNMEN AND THE POLICE/SOLDIERS

SO FAR WE HAVE....STEPPZ AS ANCHOR NEWSWOMAN
HABLA AS THE ANCHOR NEWS MAN

JUBAL IS AT THE CONTROL HEADQUARTERS
NICO IS THE ENGINEER FOR THE CAMERAS

NAJAH AND JUSTIN ARE THE DRIVERS
KONVICT IS THE CAMERA MAN
DAGGA IS THE ASSISTANT CAMERAMAN

TOMMY IS OUR INSIDE SOURCE/CROWN WITNESS/ UMMM. (INFORMA)

WE NEED EXTRA SECURITY, IT WILL BE LEAD BY GT BADMAN AND FIREMAN......

VACANCIES ARE AVAILABLE!!! WE ARE TAKING APPLICATIONS NOW!!!

PM GAMEPUN, OR SUGA OR STEPPZ

-- Edited by gamepun on Thursday 20th of May 2010 11:45:44 AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q2ODNooC8KI

-- Edited by jubalson on Thursday 20th of May 2010 08:48:27 AM

God saw your parents Hunger and he created pizzas... God saw that they are thirsty so he created Pepsi.. He saw them walking so he created cars... He saw your parrents without problems so he created you.......

this one really cracked me up