Forum: Funny Stuff
Share all jokes here, funny pics etc...(PS...warn members of uncensored/adult jokes)
click view image at base of the pic-- Edited by K_SEXY at 21:17, 2007-06-23
Are you considering having children? To determine whether you are truly prepared for the experience, we suggest you take this set of simple tests...
MESS TEST: Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the wet flowerbed and rub on the walls. Cover the stains with crayons. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer.
TOY TEST: Obtain a 55-gallon box of Legos. (If Legos are not available, you may substitute roofing tacks or broken bottles.) Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream (this could wake a child at night).
GROCERY STORE TEST: Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with you as you shop at the grocery store. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage.
DRESSING TEST: Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small net bag making sure that all arms stay inside.
FEEDING TEST: Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water. Suspend from the ceiling with a stout cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal (such as Fruit Loops or Cheerios) into the mouth of the jug while pretending to be an airplane. Now dump the contents of the jug on the floor. NIGHT TEST: Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8 to 12 pounds of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 8:00 PM begin to waltz and hum with the bag until 9:00 PM. Lay down your bag and set your alarm for 10:00 PM. Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have ever heard. Make up about a dozen more and sing these too until 4:00 AM. Set alarm for 5:00 AM. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up for five years. Look cheerful.
PHYSICAL TEST (WOMEN) Obtain a large beanbag chair and attach it to the front of your clothes. Leave it there for 9 months. Now remove 10% of the beans. PHYSICAL TEST (MEN): Go to the nearest drug store. Set your wallet on the counter. Ask the clerk to help himself. Now proceed to the nearest food store. Go to the head office and arrange for your paycheck to be directly deposited to the store. Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for the last time. FINAL ASSIGNMENT: Find a couple that already have a small child. Lecture them on how they can improve their discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet training, and child's table manners. Suggest many ways they can improve. Emphasize to them that they should never allow their children to run riot. Enjoy this experience. It will be the last time you will have all the answers.
MESS TEST: Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the wet flowerbed and rub on the walls. Cover the stains with crayons. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer.
TOY TEST: Obtain a 55-gallon box of Legos. (If Legos are not available, you may substitute roofing tacks or broken bottles.) Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream (this could wake a child at night).
GROCERY STORE TEST: Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with you as you shop at the grocery store. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage.
DRESSING TEST: Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small net bag making sure that all arms stay inside.
FEEDING TEST: Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water. Suspend from the ceiling with a stout cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal (such as Fruit Loops or Cheerios) into the mouth of the jug while pretending to be an airplane. Now dump the contents of the jug on the floor. NIGHT TEST: Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8 to 12 pounds of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 8:00 PM begin to waltz and hum with the bag until 9:00 PM. Lay down your bag and set your alarm for 10:00 PM. Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have ever heard. Make up about a dozen more and sing these too until 4:00 AM. Set alarm for 5:00 AM. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up for five years. Look cheerful.
PHYSICAL TEST (WOMEN) Obtain a large beanbag chair and attach it to the front of your clothes. Leave it there for 9 months. Now remove 10% of the beans. PHYSICAL TEST (MEN): Go to the nearest drug store. Set your wallet on the counter. Ask the clerk to help himself. Now proceed to the nearest food store. Go to the head office and arrange for your paycheck to be directly deposited to the store. Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for the last time. FINAL ASSIGNMENT: Find a couple that already have a small child. Lecture them on how they can improve their discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet training, and child's table manners. Suggest many ways they can improve. Emphasize to them that they should never allow their children to run riot. Enjoy this experience. It will be the last time you will have all the answers.
| Curtains |  |
would like to buy a pair of pink curtains.
The salesperson assured her that they had a large selection of pink
curtains. He showed her several patterns, but the blond seemed to be
having a hard time choosing.
Finally she selects a lovely pink floral print.
The salesman asked what size curtains she needed.
The blond replies "fifteen inches."
"Fifteen inches???" asked the salesman. "That sounds very small, what
room are they for?"
The blond tells him that they aren't for a room, they are for her
computer monitor.
The surprised salesman replies, "But, Miss, computers do not need
curtains!"
The blond says, "Hellllooooooooo........I've got Windows!"
4 Jamaicans got into a taxi in Trinidad.
Taxi driver says 'I can only take 3; the ugliest one has to get out'.
One of the Jamaicans replied ' Den who de ra**ss gwan drive
-- Edited by ANDRE_DESIGNZ at 22:01, 2008-06-02
A man is strolling past the mental hospital and suddenly remembers an important meeting.
Unfortunately, his watch has stopped, and he cannot tell if he is late or not. Then, he notices a patient similarly strolling about within the hospital fence.
Calling out to the patient, the man says, "Pardon me, sir, but do you have the time?"
The patient calls back, "One moment!" and throws himself upon the ground, pulling out a short stick as he does. He pushes the stick into the ground, and, pulling out a carpenter's level, assures himself that the stick is vertical.
With a compass, the patient locates north and with a steel ruler, measures the precise length of the shadow cast by the stick.
Withdrawing a slide rule from his pocket, the patient calculates rapidly, then swiftly packs up all his tools and turns back to the pedestrian, saying, "It is now precisely 3:29 pm, provided today is August 16th, which I believe it is."
The man can't help but be impressed by this demonstration, and sets his watch accordingly.
Before he leaves, he says to the patient, "That was really quite remarkable, but tell me, what do you do on a cloudy day, or at night, when the stick casts no shadow?" The patient holds up his wrist and says, "I suppose I'd just look at my watch.
Unfortunately, his watch has stopped, and he cannot tell if he is late or not. Then, he notices a patient similarly strolling about within the hospital fence.
Calling out to the patient, the man says, "Pardon me, sir, but do you have the time?"
The patient calls back, "One moment!" and throws himself upon the ground, pulling out a short stick as he does. He pushes the stick into the ground, and, pulling out a carpenter's level, assures himself that the stick is vertical.
With a compass, the patient locates north and with a steel ruler, measures the precise length of the shadow cast by the stick.
Withdrawing a slide rule from his pocket, the patient calculates rapidly, then swiftly packs up all his tools and turns back to the pedestrian, saying, "It is now precisely 3:29 pm, provided today is August 16th, which I believe it is."
The man can't help but be impressed by this demonstration, and sets his watch accordingly.
Before he leaves, he says to the patient, "That was really quite remarkable, but tell me, what do you do on a cloudy day, or at night, when the stick casts no shadow?" The patient holds up his wrist and says, "I suppose I'd just look at my watch.
You're a classic - powerful, athletic, and competitive. You're all about winning the race and getting the job done. While you have a practical everyday side, you get wild when anyone pushes your pedal. You hate to lose, but you hardly ever do.
Take the Which Sports Car Are You? Quiz
http://www.tomorrowland.us/sportscar
| Horseback riding | |
| A young blonde woman decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse, unassisted, and the horse immediately springs into action. As it gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway! The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its' slipping rider. Finally, losing her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup, and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over and over. As her head is battered against the ground and she is mere moments away from unconsciousness, to her great fortune, Frank, the Wal-Mart greeter, sees her and unplugs the horse. |
...A MIND IS A TERRIBLE THING TO WASTE...
hmmmmm( di gril @ di end remind mi of a certain female on di zone .nah call no name stillz....lol)
June 3, 2008
Started By DJ O.P. — 29 Comments
A husband wakes up at home with a huge hangover.
He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees
is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table.
He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and
pressed. He looks around the room and sees that
it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table.
"Honey, breakfast is on the table, I left early to go grocery shopping.
Love You!"
Totally shocked with the note , he goes to the kitchen and
sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper.
His son is also at the table, eating. He asks, "Son, what happened last night?"
His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious.
Broke some crockery, puked in the hall, and gave yourself a black eye
when you stumbled into the door". Confused, the man asks,
"So, why is everything in order and so clean, and
breakfast is on the table waiting for me?
I should expect a big quarrel with her!"
His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom,
and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off,
you said,
"LADY LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M MARRIED!"
Moral
Self-induced hangover - $ 400.00
Broken crockery - $ 800.00
Breakfast - $ 10.00
Saying the Right Thing While Drunk "PRICELESS "
There are truly some things that both money and Mastercard can't buy
[youtube=http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=yFSgdiE2IuA&feature=related]
This is some of the dumpest pics I have ever seen.
A guy thought his wife was cheating on him. So he waited for her to leave one night and jumped in a cab to follow her. He soon found out she was working in a whorehouse.
The guy says to the cabbie, "Wanna make a $100?"
The cabbie says, "Sure, what do I have to do?"
The guy replied that all the cabbie has to do was go inside the whorehouse, grab his wife and bring her into the cab.
So the cabbie goes in, and a couple of minutes later the whorehouse door is kicked open, and the cabbie is dragging a woman out who is kicking, biting, punching, and fighting all the way to the cab.
The cabbie opens the door, throws the girl inside and tells the man, "Hold her!"
The man looks down at the girl and screams to the cabbie, "THIS AIN'T MY WIFE!"
The cabbie replies, "I know, she's mine; I'm going back in for yours."
-- Edited by pengo at 08:34, 2008-06-02
A hug leads to a kiss...a kiss leads 2 a finger...a finger leads to
>a a hand...a hand leads to a lick...a lick leads to a suck...a suck
>leads 2 a ****. So tell me how many people are you gonna hug after
>you heard this cuz sex is like math...u add the bed...subtract the
>clothes...divide the legs...leave your solution...and pray you dont
>multiply!
>Send this right after u read it, something good will happen at 2:25
>tomorrow. Get ready for the biggest shock in your life!!
>Whoever breaks this chain will be cursed w/ relationship problems
>4-10 years.
>If you send this in 15 mins. your
>safe. Something good will happen tonight at 11:11pm.
>This is not a joke...someone will either call you or will talk to
>you online.
>
>
>
>Giving .........head....... massages the jaw....while burning 32
>calories.
>
>Swallowing foreign body juices is actually like taking vitamins and
>it whitens your teeth
>
>Having nice sex burnes 358 calories.
>
>Having rough sex [make it hurt] burns 543 calories.
>
>
>
>Take off her clothes with her consent.........................12 cal
>without......................187 cal
>
>Take off her Bra
>With two hands..........................8 cal
>With one hand.........................12 cal
>With mouth.............................85 cal
>
>Put on Protection
>hard ........................... 6 cal
>soft..........................315 cal
>
>Foreplay
>Looking for target...................8 cal
>Finding G spot
>......................92 cal
>I don't F***ing care.....................0 cal
>
>Entry
>Holding her..................12 cal
>On the floor.................8 cal
>
>With Different Position
>Missionary..........................358 cal
>Doggy...........................316 cal
>69 lying...............................286 cal
>69 standing.............................512 cal
>Italian hanger.........................912 cal
>
>Orgasm
>Real................................112 cal
>Faking................................315 cal
>
>After "O"
>Lying in Bed............................18 cal
>Hop off the bed............................36 cal
>Wondering why she left pissed off...........816 cal
>
>
>
>Get dressed
>Quiet and calm...........................32 cal
>Rushing.........................98 cal
>Heard her boyfriend opening the door.............1218cal
>Heard her dad/2 yr old baby sista at the door.............1942 cal
>a a hand...a hand leads to a lick...a lick leads to a suck...a suck
>leads 2 a ****. So tell me how many people are you gonna hug after
>you heard this cuz sex is like math...u add the bed...subtract the
>clothes...divide the legs...leave your solution...and pray you dont
>multiply!
>Send this right after u read it, something good will happen at 2:25
>tomorrow. Get ready for the biggest shock in your life!!
>Whoever breaks this chain will be cursed w/ relationship problems
>4-10 years.
>If you send this in 15 mins. your
>safe. Something good will happen tonight at 11:11pm.
>This is not a joke...someone will either call you or will talk to
>you online.
>
>
>
>Giving .........head....... massages the jaw....while burning 32
>calories.
>
>Swallowing foreign body juices is actually like taking vitamins and
>it whitens your teeth
>
>Having nice sex burnes 358 calories.
>
>Having rough sex [make it hurt] burns 543 calories.
>
>
>
>Take off her clothes with her consent.........................12 cal
>without......................187 cal
>
>Take off her Bra
>With two hands..........................8 cal
>With one hand.........................12 cal
>With mouth.............................85 cal
>
>Put on Protection
>hard ........................... 6 cal
>soft..........................315 cal
>
>Foreplay
>Looking for target...................8 cal
>Finding G spot
>......................92 cal
>I don't F***ing care.....................0 cal
>
>Entry
>Holding her..................12 cal
>On the floor.................8 cal
>
>With Different Position
>Missionary..........................358 cal
>Doggy...........................316 cal
>69 lying...............................286 cal
>69 standing.............................512 cal
>Italian hanger.........................912 cal
>
>Orgasm
>Real................................112 cal
>Faking................................315 cal
>
>After "O"
>Lying in Bed............................18 cal
>Hop off the bed............................36 cal
>Wondering why she left pissed off...........816 cal
>
>
>
>Get dressed
>Quiet and calm...........................32 cal
>Rushing.........................98 cal
>Heard her boyfriend opening the door.............1218cal
>Heard her dad/2 yr old baby sista at the door.............1942 cal
Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, Tell me, Mary, who created the universe? When Mary didnt stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. God Almighty ! shouted Mary and the teacher said, Very good and Mary fell back to sleep.
A while later the teacher asked Mary, Who is our Lord and Savior? But Mary didnt even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. Jesus Christ! shouted Mary and the teacher said, Very good, and Mary fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child? And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, Ill break it in half! The Teacher fainted.
A while later the teacher asked Mary, Who is our Lord and Savior? But Mary didnt even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. Jesus Christ! shouted Mary and the teacher said, Very good, and Mary fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child? And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, Ill break it in half! The Teacher fainted.
Drivah,
I would certainly appreciate it if you could take this package down the road for me.
Please while you are on your journey might I implore you not to speak to anyone.
Follow my instructions; it is imperative that everything goes according to plan.
May your journey be a safe one.
chorus
Driver please avoid unnecessary stoppages as you deliver this package of marijuana at Alba Mall
I cannot emphasize enough the importance of you not stopping along the way
Collect the funds and make a hasty retreat
Driver be very wary of members of the Constabulary Force as they have set up quite a few speed traps along the path you have to travel.
Verse 1:
I have in my possession a Nextel cellular phone with a sim card from Cingular (though this makes absolutely no sense I thought it still would be fashionable)
If by any chance you run into any problem I can be reached at the number I had previously provided you with.
Be mindful that while our competitors purchase goods by the pound we are apart of a much larger entity purchasing quantities in tons.
The colors we provide are green and chocolate brown We are preferred customers with the carrier services
My life's earnings are invested in this business venture
You are allowed to have a light alcoholic beverage but DON'T indulge in the smoking away of my profit
The aroma of the marijuana will change your perspective on life, no matter how carefully it is packaged
Failure to deliver will be detrimental on your part as I have no problems in attaining firearms and ammunition
I would love to remodel my place of dwelling.
chorus
Driver please avoid unnecessary stoppages as your deliver this package of marijuana at Alba Mall
I cannot emphasize enough the importance of you not stopping along the way
Collect the funds and make a hasty retreat
Driver be very wary of members of the Constabulary Force as they have set up quite a few speed traps along the path you have to travel
Verse 2:
I am in this business not because I want to but because I have to And my female companion has a vested interest in obtaining a few pieces from Victoria Secret's spring collection
Sam is not consistent with his payments so please avoid him entirely; Billy is a known informant for the FBI
Take no one to my place of residence
I love the way soldiers carry themselves, disassociating themselves from cowards
Like Rick Ross, everyday I'm hustling
It would not be in your best interest to attempt undermining me
The last person who tried that met a terrible fate
Ensure maximum sale on the product so we can increase our profit
I would certainly appreciate it if you could take this package down the road for me.
Please while you are on your journey might I implore you not to speak to anyone.
Follow my instructions; it is imperative that everything goes according to plan.
May your journey be a safe one.
chorus
Driver please avoid unnecessary stoppages as you deliver this package of marijuana at Alba Mall
I cannot emphasize enough the importance of you not stopping along the way
Collect the funds and make a hasty retreat
Driver be very wary of members of the Constabulary Force as they have set up quite a few speed traps along the path you have to travel.
Verse 1:
I have in my possession a Nextel cellular phone with a sim card from Cingular (though this makes absolutely no sense I thought it still would be fashionable)
If by any chance you run into any problem I can be reached at the number I had previously provided you with.
Be mindful that while our competitors purchase goods by the pound we are apart of a much larger entity purchasing quantities in tons.
The colors we provide are green and chocolate brown We are preferred customers with the carrier services
My life's earnings are invested in this business venture
You are allowed to have a light alcoholic beverage but DON'T indulge in the smoking away of my profit
The aroma of the marijuana will change your perspective on life, no matter how carefully it is packaged
Failure to deliver will be detrimental on your part as I have no problems in attaining firearms and ammunition
I would love to remodel my place of dwelling.
chorus
Driver please avoid unnecessary stoppages as your deliver this package of marijuana at Alba Mall
I cannot emphasize enough the importance of you not stopping along the way
Collect the funds and make a hasty retreat
Driver be very wary of members of the Constabulary Force as they have set up quite a few speed traps along the path you have to travel
Verse 2:
I am in this business not because I want to but because I have to And my female companion has a vested interest in obtaining a few pieces from Victoria Secret's spring collection
Sam is not consistent with his payments so please avoid him entirely; Billy is a known informant for the FBI
Take no one to my place of residence
I love the way soldiers carry themselves, disassociating themselves from cowards
Like Rick Ross, everyday I'm hustling
It would not be in your best interest to attempt undermining me
The last person who tried that met a terrible fate
Ensure maximum sale on the product so we can increase our profit
CHINESE PRANK CALL DIS MAD LOL [KRAZILY INSANE]
April 12, 2008
Started By Krazily Insane — 33 Comments
Wheel of F*cking Fortune{this one is sick}lol
May 25, 2008
Started By mz más quería veterano — 33 Comments
[youtube=http://www.glumbert.com/media/wheelof][youtube=]
Three men were drinking at a bar -- a doctor, an attorney
and a biker. As the doctor was drinking his white wine he said, "For
her birthday, I'm going to buy my wife a fur coat and a diamond ring.
This way, if she doesn't like the fur coat she will still love me
because she got a diamond ring."
As the attorney was drinking his martini he said, "For my wife's
birthday, I'm going to buy her a designer dress and a gold bracelet.
This way, if she doesn't like the dress she will still love me because
she got the gold bracelet."
As the biker was drinking his shots of whiskey he said, "I'm going to
buy my wife a T-shirt and a vibrator. This way, if she doesn't like
the T-shirt she can go f**k herself!"
and a biker. As the doctor was drinking his white wine he said, "For
her birthday, I'm going to buy my wife a fur coat and a diamond ring.
This way, if she doesn't like the fur coat she will still love me
because she got a diamond ring."
As the attorney was drinking his martini he said, "For my wife's
birthday, I'm going to buy her a designer dress and a gold bracelet.
This way, if she doesn't like the dress she will still love me because
she got the gold bracelet."
As the biker was drinking his shots of whiskey he said, "I'm going to
buy my wife a T-shirt and a vibrator. This way, if she doesn't like
the T-shirt she can go f**k herself!"
Three dogs are sitting in the waiting room of a vets office. One is a
poodle, one is a schnauzer and the other is a great Dane.
The poodle turns to the schnauzer and asks "why are you here?"
The schnauzer responds, "I'm 17 years old. I don't see or hear very well.
I've been having accidents in the house. My owner says I'm too old and sick
so he brought me here to be put to sleep."
The schnauzer asks the poodle "why are you here?"
The poodle responds, "I've not been myself lately. I've been especially high
strung. I've been barking all the time, I've been snapping at people and I
even bit one of the neighbor's kids. Nobody knows why this has been
happening. My owner says he can't risk me biting somebody else so he brought
me here to be put to sleep."
The poodle and schnauzer ask the great Dane why he is here.
The great Dane responds: "My owner is this beautiful runway model. Yesterday
she was walking around the house naked when she suddenly bent down to pick
up something she dropped. She was bent over and naked when nature took over
and the next thing I know I'm on top of her doing the doggie thing. I
couldn't help myself. "
The poodle asks: "so she brought you here to put to sleep?"
"Oh, no...., I'm just here to get my nails trimmed."
poodle, one is a schnauzer and the other is a great Dane.
The poodle turns to the schnauzer and asks "why are you here?"
The schnauzer responds, "I'm 17 years old. I don't see or hear very well.
I've been having accidents in the house. My owner says I'm too old and sick
so he brought me here to be put to sleep."
The schnauzer asks the poodle "why are you here?"
The poodle responds, "I've not been myself lately. I've been especially high
strung. I've been barking all the time, I've been snapping at people and I
even bit one of the neighbor's kids. Nobody knows why this has been
happening. My owner says he can't risk me biting somebody else so he brought
me here to be put to sleep."
The poodle and schnauzer ask the great Dane why he is here.
The great Dane responds: "My owner is this beautiful runway model. Yesterday
she was walking around the house naked when she suddenly bent down to pick
up something she dropped. She was bent over and naked when nature took over
and the next thing I know I'm on top of her doing the doggie thing. I
couldn't help myself. "
The poodle asks: "so she brought you here to put to sleep?"
"Oh, no...., I'm just here to get my nails trimmed."
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were sitting in a bar, drinking, and discussing how stupid their wives were.
The Englishman says, ''I tell you, my wife is so stupid. Last week she went to the supermarket and bought $300 worth of meat because it was on sale, and we don't even have a fridge to keep it in.''
The Scotsman agrees that she sounds pretty thick, but says his wife is thicker.
''Just last week, she went out and spent $17,000 on a new car,'' he laments, ''and she doesn't even know how to drive!''
The Irishman nods sagely, and agrees that these two woman sound like they both walked through the stupid forest and got hit by every branch.
However, he still thinks his wife is dumber. ''Ah, it kills me everytime I think of it,'' he chuckles. ''My wife left to go on a trip to Greece. I watched her packing her bag, and she must have put about 100 condoms in there and she doesn't even have a penis!''
The Englishman says, ''I tell you, my wife is so stupid. Last week she went to the supermarket and bought $300 worth of meat because it was on sale, and we don't even have a fridge to keep it in.''
The Scotsman agrees that she sounds pretty thick, but says his wife is thicker.
''Just last week, she went out and spent $17,000 on a new car,'' he laments, ''and she doesn't even know how to drive!''
The Irishman nods sagely, and agrees that these two woman sound like they both walked through the stupid forest and got hit by every branch.
However, he still thinks his wife is dumber. ''Ah, it kills me everytime I think of it,'' he chuckles. ''My wife left to go on a trip to Greece. I watched her packing her bag, and she must have put about 100 condoms in there and she doesn't even have a penis!''
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