A little old lady, well into her eighties, slowly enters the front door of a sex shop. Obviously very unstable on her feet, she wobbles the few feet across the store to the counter. Finally arriving at the counter and grabbing it for support, stuttering, she asks the sales clerk: "Dddooo youuuu hhhave dddddiilllldosss?"
The clerk, politely trying not to burst out laughing, replies: "Yes we do have dildos. Actually we carry many different models."
The old woman then asks: "Dddddoooo yyyouuuu ccaarrryy aaa pppinkk onnee, tttenn inchessss lllong aaandd aabboutt ttwoo inchesss ththiickk... aaand rrunns by bbaatteries?
The clerk responds, "Yes we do."
She asks: " Ddddooo yyoooouuuu kknnnoooww hhhowww tttooo ttturrrnnn ttthe ssunoooffabbitch offffff?"

http://www.worldstarhiphop.com/videos/video.php?v=wshh43EBiAT68Z95BAyS

-- Edited by Angelic Estacy on Saturday 18th of September 2010 10:01:00 AM

-- Edited by Angelic Estacy on Saturday 18th of September 2010 10:02:41 AM

-- Edited by DJ FiFTY on Monday 13th of September 2010 02:26:06 PM

SOME OF THESE EMMO R JUST WHILE SOME IS JUST NOT RIGHT>> FOR MALE THAT IS!!!

By rockingir at 2010-09-10

MI NEVA KNO A SOH TANTO BLACKS RLY STAY...

*la*hDCLAAAAAAT  AH WEAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
MAN LUK RETARDED NO LIE !!!!! LMAOOOOOOOOO

By rockingir at 2010-09-10

next you'll think twice about who you play a game of ball wid

A bus filled with politicians was driving through the countryside one day, on the campaign trail. The bus driver, caught up in the beautiful scenery, loses control and crashes into the ditch. A farmer living nearby hears the horrible crash and rushes out to discover the wreckage. When he finds the politicians, he promtly buries them.

The next day, the police come to the farm to question the man. So you buried all the politicians? asked the police officer. Were they all dead?

The farmer answered, Some said they werent, but you know how politicians lie.

A doctor had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty the next day. No matter how hard he tried to forget about it, his shame and sense of betrayal were overwhelming. But every once in a while hed hear a reassuring voice in his head that said, Dont worry about it. You arent the first medical practitioner to have sex with one of his patients.

But then he would hear another voice, one that jolted him back to reality. You are a sick bastard, it whispered, and a terrible veterinarian.

By rockingir at 2010-09-10

A Lady was travelling along Caledonia road in Mandeville, when she was involved in a traffic accident with a man who was driving a car. They both agreed to go to a nearby police station to make a report.

Here's the dialogue of her conversation with the police officer on duty:

Lady: Mawning offica

Officer: Mawning Maam

Lady: I'm here to report an accident

Officer: Go ahead Maam

Lady: Offica, mi seh mi a cum enuh, and when mi realise the man a cum too, mi start blow the man, and all di blow mi a blow the man, him still cum inna mi.

Officer: Lady it look like a sex argument yuh a talk bout.

Lady: No offica, but look how the man mash up the whole a mi front.

A young wife who was becoming fed up with her husband constant demands for sex decides to make a schedule for him to cut down on the amount of times they were having sex.
She wrote on a piece of paper:
"Honey you know I love you , but this daily sex is leaving me drained and really tired.
So I propose that we only have sex on the days that begins with T to minimize the frequency of our lovemaking".
On her way to work she uses a magnet and sticks the note on the refrigerator.
Upon returning home she notices her note gone and replaced with one from her husband.
"Baby I didnt realize that you were under so much pressure, I accept your proposal and have taken the extra steps to listing the days that begin with the letter T to make sure we are on the same page:
(1) Tuesday
(2) Thursday
(3) Today
(4) Tonight
(5) Tomorrow

By rockingir at 2010-09-10

Eleven people were hanging on a rope, under a helicopter.

10 men and 1 woman. 
The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one had to leave,
Because otherwise they were all going to fall.
They weren't able to choose that person, until the woman gave a very touching speech.

She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because, as a woman, she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids or for men in general, and was used to always making sacrifices with little in return.

As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping . . . . . .

By rockingir at 2010-09-10

By rockingir at 2010-09-10

A young man from Jamaica moves to Miami and goes to a big department shopping complex looking for a job. The manager says, "Do you have any sales experience"? The Jamaican young man says, "Bossie, mi was a salesman back home on di streets a Kingston." Well, the boss liked him so he gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. Ill come down after we close and see how you did."

His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. "How many sales did you make today?"

The Jamaican young man says, "Man, Just ONE sale"

The boss says, "Just one? No! No! No! You see here our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. If you want to keep this job, you'd better be doing better than just one sale. By the way, how much was the sale
for?"

The Jamaican young man says, "$301,237.64"
Boss says, "$301,237.64? What the hell did you sell?"

The Jamaican young man: "Bossie, fus mi sell him one little fish hook. Den mi sell him a medium size fish hook. Den mi sell him l big fish hook. Den mi sell him one fishing rod an sum fishing tings. Den mi ask him whey him a go fishing, an him seh dung de coast, so mi tell him sey him a go want one boat, so we go dung a de boating department an mi sell him one twin engine cris craft. Den him seh him nuh think him Honda Civic can pull it, so mi tek him dung a wi automotive department an mi sell him di 4X4 Blazer. Then mi ask him whey him a go sleep, an since him neva have nuh weh, mi tek him dung a di camping department an sell him one a di new Igloo 6-sleeper camper tents. Then the man seh, while we deh pon it, mi might as well fling in about a $100.00 wut a groceries and two case ah beer."

The boss said, "You're not serious? A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a Boat, a 4x4 truck and a tent?"

The Jamaican young man says, "No sah, him come in yah fi buy one box of tampons fi him wife, and mi tell him seh Well, since yuh weekend mash up, yuh might jus as well go do some fishing."

This Jamaican woman felt that her love life was slipping because her husband had no more interest in sex. While shopping one day, she passed an adult shop and saw some crotchless panties, so she decided to buy one and try to use it to excite and seduce him. 

That evening she took a long bath, put on a favorite perfume, and then she put on a sexy negligee and her new crotchless panties. Then she slithered into the room where her husband was watching TV as usual. 

She stands right in front of him, with one foot resting high on the ottoman, negligee wide open, and whispers "yu wah some a dis?". 

Her husband looks up at her wide-eyed and says. "No sah, yu mad, yuh nuh see wha it do to yu panty!"

A MUST KONVICT DWEET!!!! DEH BROTHER DEH PON HIM PERIOD ENO!!!