WHAT THE F*** IS A PU55Y MAN??? WTF?? WTF?? LMAO @ STEPPZ COMMENT TOO LMAO

-- Edited by KrYsIs (Radio Mod) on Friday 1st of October 2010 12:26:50 PM

neva knw di Cali gal dem cuda girate suh...
teacher ooman a get har groove on..

Skerritt Bwoy explain his favorite daggering moves...

Lil gyal can cuss like me madda eeeh

-- Edited by MZJ on Wednesday 29th of September 2010 06:59:36 PM

Obama Releases 500,000 Men From U.S. Strategic Bachelor Reserve

Justin Bieber Found To Be Cleverly Disguised 51-Year-Old Pedophile

How To Play Golf Against The Man Whose Wife You're Banging On The Side

http://lolsnaps.com/?p=home&media_id=842&cat_type=all&order_type=latest&pagenum=16

THIS BLOND DECIDES ONE DAY THAT SHE IS SICK AND TIRED OF ALL THESE
BLOND JOKES AND HOW ALL BLONDS ARE PERCEIVED AS STUPID.
SHE DECIDES TO SHOW HER HUSBAND THAT BLONDS ARE REALLY SMART.
WHILE HER HUSBAND IS AT WORK SHE DECIDES SHE WILL PAINT  A FEW ROOMS IN THE HOUSE,
THE NEXT DAY AS SOON AS HER HUSBAND LEAVES FOR WORK SHE GETS STARTED.

HER HUSBAND ARRIVES AT 5.30 AND SMELLS THE DISTINCTIVE SMELL OF PAINT.
HE WALKS TO THE LIVING ROOM AND FINDS HIS WIFE    ON THE FLOOR IN A POOL OF SWEAT.
HE NOTICES THAT SHE IS WEARING A SKI  JACKET AND HER FUR COAT AT THE SAME TIME.
HE GOES OVER AND ASKS IF SHE IS OK. SHE REPLIES YES I AM..
HE ASKS WHAT SHE IS DOING AND SHE REPLIES SHE WANTED TO PROVE TO HIM THAT ALL

BLONDS ARE NOT STUPID AND DUMB AND DOING  SO BY PAINTING PART OF THE HOUSE.
HE GOES ON TO ASK HER WHY SHE HAD A SKI JACKET AND FUR COAT ON..AT THE SAME TIME..
SHE REPLIES;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

I AM FOLLOWING DIRECTIONS ON PAINT CONTAINER...
THEY SAID  TO ACHIEVE BETTER RESULTS;;;PUT ON TWO COATS

http://www.mediafire.com/?tzg9wkcmugw8j29

A JAMAICAN MAN COMES HOME AND SHOUTS OUT " HONEY PACK YUH BAGS DEM !! MI JUS WIN DI LOTTO!!"
SHI SEH " OH MA GOD WAY SHALL I PACK ?"
HE REPLIES " PACK EVERY *la*hDCLAUT TING !! MARRIAGE DONE !!!!!!!!!!!!! "

1. MILKING IT: When stroking a guy's dick don't grab it like a bus rail and start jerking it like you were milking a cow. Don't use the love sword as if it's a piece of gym equipment to strengthen the forearms. The male organ is a thing of wonder and beauty, and should be awed, worshipped and held tenderly at all times. The sensitive part is at the top (where your face should be), not two-thirds of the way down.

2. ROBOTS: When *u*king a guy's dick don't just get on the end of the thing and jam your head back and forward. It's a beautiful instrument; it should be caressed, inspected, kissed and licked from every possible angle.

3. SILENT FRIGHT: If you've come and cannot be coerced to scream to show your appreciation, at least make some sort of sign to inform the guy that he's done his duty and can blow his biscuits whenever he wants.

4. NO LAUGHING MATTER: Don't laugh if your creative male lover gets carried away and says things like, "I want to rinse your mouth with my fresh, white love potion." Laughter at any aspect of the male performance will not enhance it. Just be grateful you've got a guy who can speak in whole sentences.

5. CLOSING UP: If a man is willing to take the trouble to come on your face, don't close your eyes. He wants you to share this ecstatic moment of joyful union and love with him. Semen is not likely to cause permanent blindness in most cases - but this is a risk you should be prepared to take for his happiness.

6. POOR PRESENTATION: Presentation is all important. Don't wait to be asked to get it doggy-style. Roll over and present. You know you love it.

7. HANGING AROUND: When he is done, you should not kiss and cuddle, he does not want to touch you. You should leave the bed and leave him in peace. If you are a one-night stand you should leave the premises with out thieving anything or asking for a phone number. His work is done.

8. BEING SHY: Always offer the Hershey Highway. You know you love It. If you don't like it that much, still offer it as you can quite easily play with yourself as he rams away.

9. BEING A DRIP: You always have tissues in your bag, use them to clean his sheets and any ball bag drippage if you have misbehaved and not swallowed everything.

10. CLOCK-WATCHING: Never, ever, ever, ever even think of saying: "Are you going to come soon." If you're doing a blowie, you'd have to take your mouth off to utter the question. If you're giving a hand-job, you should have gone to the gym to work your biceps. If he's shagging you and takes more than 10 minutes you should be grateful. This is not a time trial but a blissful act of union between two sexually aware and gifted human beings.

11. FISHING FOR COMPLIMENTS: Don't ask him if you're the best lover he's ever had most men have had so many sexual partners that it is unlikely that you are. Please don't ask a man to lie about such an important thing.

12. PLAYING DEAD: Don't just lie there, do something. Good sex is not a spectator sport and it helps if both parties move around a bit. I know you expect the men to do all the hard and skillful work. We don't mind that and we're blessed with the equipment and know-how to do it but at least put some effort into the act to show your appreciation.

13. BEING POSSESSIVE: If you are lucky to have an imaginative lover who can satisfy two women at a time don't sneer at or reject his exciting suggestion that one of your friends joins you to make up a threesome. If he's a real man he's probably shagging her anyway. Plus you might learn something from her to keep your man really happy.

14. NOT KEEPING YOUR HAIR ON: Don't shave all your pubic hair off. It makes your snatch look like a piece of poultry past its sell-by date. At best, it looks like the snatch of a ten-year-old. If you want to trim, go for a nice sexy racing stripe in the manner favored by the Playboy models that your man would rather be shagging.

15. SPITTING IT OUT: When a man has gone to so much trouble to ejaculate and get his aim right into your mouth, it is rude to spit it out without savoring taste and gluey texture. You should play with semen like a block of Hubba Bubba, blowing bubbles, chewing and throwing from side to side. A line like "I love it when you come in my mouth" makes for a happy finale to fun and games.

16. BEING UNGRATEFUL: Never forget to thank a man for all the effort and energy he has expended on making love to you - especially if a)sex has lasted more than five minutes and/or b)you managed to achieve an orgasm. A man's role in sex is far more demanding than a woman's so it is always nice when one's prowess is appreciated.

17. SEEKING FAVORS: Never contemplate taking advantage of your man's warm after-sex glow to seek favors or make requests. As he drops off into well-deserved slumber, resist the urge to ask, "Do you think I should buy that dress, skirt, sofa, Mercedes, country cottage?" There is a name for the practice of mixing sex with material gain - prostitution.


-- Edited by bLaCkBeatZ at 00:33, 2009-01-18

Three Jamaicans and three Americans are travelling by train to a hockey game. At the station, the three Americans each buy tickets and watch as the three Jamaicansbuy only a single ticket. "How are the three people going to travel on only one ticket? " asks an American. "Watch and you'll see, " answers a Jamaican. They all board the train. 

The Americans take their respective seats but all three Jamaicans cram into a bathroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets.He knocks on the bathroom door and says, "Ticket, please. " The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The Americans see this and agree it was quite a clever idea.

So after the game, they decide to copy the Jamaicans on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all that). When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the Jamaicans don't buy a ticket at all.

"How are you going to travel without a ticket? " asks one perplexed American. "Watch and you'll see, " answers a Jamaican. When they board the train the three Americans cram into a bathroom and the three Jamaicans cram into another bathroom nearby. Once the train leaves the station, one of the Jamaicans leaves and walks over to the bathroom where the Americans are hiding, knocks on the door, and says, "Ticket, please.

* You don't have to look your best. * You never have to say "I love you", promise to mow the lawn, buy flowers/dinner, lie about the size of your hand's, etc. * If you use your other hand it feels like someone else. * You can use both hands and have and orgy. * You don't have to promise to call in the morning. * As long as you're careful you'll never end up with the wet spot. * You can make it last for hours, if you do it a certain way. * You can do it wherever there is a public toilet which has a private cubical. * You don't need to make an appointment in advance. * It doesn't really make you go blind, not unless your hand slides off the end and you poke yourself in the eye. * It's cheaper...you don't have to use those pesky condoms.

 

Ah lil young boy liming pon de block, minding he own business when all of ah sudden ah big fella pass and hit he WHAP !! -- knock he pon de ground. De big fella holla fuh, "dat was ah karate chop from Korea ."

 

De lil young boy thinking "but wht de ****hole" but he get back up an still liming pon de block as normal again, when all of ah sudden --WHAP !! - de big fella lick he dung AGAIN and holla fuh, "dah one dey did ah judo chop from Japan ."  

 

Cawblen now yuh know de boy vex now... He get up, brush off heself and quietly leff from bout dey.

 

 

De  boy did gone fuh bout ah hour and come back. He walk up real easy and quiet behind de big fella and -- WWAAAAAAATTTTAAAAAAPPPPP !!!! -- knock he out cold.

 

De lil young boy watch ah next fella and suh, "When dat johnny wake up, tell he dat was ah 2x4 from de Barbados Lumber Yard right here in F***hole Barbados!=D=))=D=))

A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary on the beaches in Montego Bay, Jamaica. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town.

People would say, "What a peaceful & loving couple". The local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.

The Husband replied: "Well, it dates back to our honeymoon in America," explained the man. "We visited the Grand Canyon, in Arizona, and took a trip, down to the bottom of the canyon, by horse. We hadn't gone too far when my wife's horse stumbled and she almost fell off. My wife looked down at the horse and quietly said, "That's once."

"We proceeded a little further and horse stumbled again. Once more my wife quietly said, "That's twice."

"We hadn't gone a half-mile when the horse stumbled for the third time. My wife quietly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead.

I shouted at her, "What's wrong with you, woman! Why did you shoot the poor animal like that? are you crazy??" She looked at me, and quietly said, "That's once."

"And from that moment.....we have lived happily every after."

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ECqvBs0Qx_U

Jamaican lawyers should never ask a witness a question
If they're not prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Falmouth small town prosecuting attorney

Called his first witness, a grand motherly, elderly woman

Named Miss Ivy, to the stand. He approached her and asked,

"Miss Ivy, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes of course me know you, Mr.

Williams! Me know you since you was a likkle pissen tail

pickney, and wat a big disappointment you is to yuh family.

You tell too much lie, yuh cheat pan yuh wife, you chat people bizniz,

And yuh red-eye and licky-licky. Yuh tink you is a big shot now but yuh nuh

realize sey yuh will neva be more dan a two-bit paper pusher! Yes, mi know yuh aright!!"

The Lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked,

"Miss Ivy, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "why yes, MI know Mr. Bradley since him was a likkle bwoy to. Him lazy, andgood-fe-nuttin, him boasy, and him always a gwaan like him white. Him cyaan build a normal
relationship wid any woman cause him a man unda covah.
Fi him law practice a di wus innaJamaica. Him chat nuff , him teef, nuttin nasty and dutty no deh wey him nuh do. A three different  woman an four man me hear sey him av undah covah, an one a di woman dem a you wife! Yes sah, Mi know him well."

The defense attorney almost died of embarrasment.

The Judge ordered both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very quiet voice, said,

"IF EITHER OF YOU BASTARDS ASK HER IF SHE KNOW ME, A GWINE

LOCK UP UNNU RAAS INNA JAIL FI CONTEMPT."

-- Edited by BoaseyT0niiB0nii on Sunday 19th of September 2010 07:28:19 PM

Rastaman walk into a bank with a bag packed with ganja, places it on the counter and shoves it to the teller. the teller shocked looks at the ras and asks "Sir what is this for?" the rastaman replies " I an I come fi open a $@#$% joint account"