Q: Doctor,  I've  heard that  cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?  
A:  Your  heart is only good for so many   beats, and that's it...  don't waste them  on exercise. Everything wears out   eventually.  Speeding up your heart  will not make you live longer; that's like  saying you can extend  the life  of your car by driving it  faster.  Want to live longer?  Take  a nap. 

Q: Should  I  cut  down on meat and  eat more fruits  and  vegetables?
A: You  must  grasp  logistical efficiencies.  What  does a cow eat?   Hay and  corn.   And what are these?   Vegetables.  So a steak  is nothing  more  than an efficient mechanism of   delivering vegetables to your   system.   Need grain?    Eat  chicken.   Beef is also a  good source  of field gra**  (green  leafy vegetable).   And a pork chop can  give you  100% of your  recommended daily allowance of   vegetable  products.

Q: Should  I  reduce my  alcohol intake?   
A:  No,  not  at all.  Wine is made from   fruit.  Brandy is  distilled  wine,  that means they take the water out  of  the fruity bit so you  get even  more of the goodness that  way.    Beer is also made out  of grain.   Bottoms   up!

Q: How  can I  calculate my body/fat   ratio?  
A:  Well,  if you have a body and you  have  fat, your ratio is one  to  one.  If you have two bodies, your   ratio is two to  one,  etc. 

Q:  What  are some of  the advantages of  participating in a regular  exercise   program?
A: Can't  think of  a single one, sorry.  My  philosophy  is: No  Pain...Good!
Q:  Aren't   fried  foods bad for  you?  
A:   YOU'RE  NOT  LISTENING!!! .....   Foods are fried these days in   vegetable oil.   In fact,  they're permeated in it.   How could  getting more  vegetables be  bad for   you?  

Q:  Will   sit-ups  help prevent me from getting a  little soft  around   the middle? 
A: Definitely   not! When  you exercise a muscle, it gets  bigger. You  should only be  doing  sit-ups if you want a bigger    stomach.  

Q:   Is   chocolate bad for  me?  
A:   Are   you crazy? HELLO    Cocoa  beans ! Another vegetable!!! It's  the best feel-good   food  around! 

Q:   Is   swimming good for your  figure?  
A:   If   swimming is good for  your  figure,   explain whales to   me. 

Q:  Is  getting   in-shape important for  my    lifestyle?  
A:  Hey!   'Round' is  a  shape!  

Well,   I  hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you  may   have had about   food   and diets.

And  remember:  
'Life  should  NOT  be a journey to the grave  with the intention of  arriving   safely in an attractive and well preserved   body, but rather  to skid in sideways -  Chardonnay in one  hand - chocolate  in  the other - body thoroughly used  up,  totally worn out and    screaming 'WOO  HOO, What a   Ride' 

AND.....

For  those of you  who watch what you eat, here's the final   word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to  know the  truth after all those conflicting  nutritional  studies.   

1.  The Japanese eat  very little  fat
and  suffer  fewer heart attacks than   Americans.

2. The Mexicans   eat a lot of  fat
and suffer fewer heart  attacks than  Americans.  

3.  The Chinese  drink very little  red  wine
and  suffer fewer  heart attacks than   Americans.

4. The  Italians  drink a lot of red   wine
and suffer  fewer heart  attacks than  Americans.   

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of   sausages and fats  and suffer fewer heart  attacks than Americans.  

CONCLUSION

Eat and drink what  you like.
Speaking  English  is apparently what kills   you.

Enjoy

 

New ryginking

A post shared by RYgin KiNG (@ryginking) on Feb 1, 2018 at 10:24am PST

 

@stuwy.broomy ezzy bad bro. Don't know the young lady tho. Somebody tag her.

A post shared by XKLUSIVE (@xklusive_music) on Feb 3, 2018 at 6:34pm PST

BUSY SIGNAL-WHATS APP

AIDONIA-GETTING DOWN

ELEPHANT MAN-GWAAN NAH

ASSASSIN-UPTOWN

MAVADO-GYALIST TUNE

ALKALINE-SIGNAL RIGHT

KONSHENS-GO LEFT

TARRUS RILEY-FAR AWAY

VYBZ KARTEL-CENTER FORWARD

INSTRUMENTAL

REMEMBER TO LEAVE A COMMENT FOR THE SHARE

CLICK HERE

Now you can access Mediiazone RADIO and TV via any Android device. 

 

 

 

 

 

-- Edited by Tony Lloyd on Thursday 12th of March 2015 10:45:22 AM

:)))))))

-- Edited by Tony Lloyd on Sunday 1st of March 2015 09:37:06 AM

Got JoKeS

 

In class teacher asked to use the word 'disappoint' in a sentence, no one wanted to answer so she pointed at little johnny! He got up and replied:
"As me go home me a go tell mommy say every question ask teacha dis-a-point pon me one so

Draw the female reproductive organ. As the exam was progressing, a girl looked between her legs. And a boy saw her and shouted "Sir, watch har, she a copy!!!

 

 

-- Edited by GA on Thursday 20th of March 2014 08:07:58 AM

FOR REAL DJ'S

South Korea to launch 5G service so fast users can download an entire film in just ONE SECOND
view on ace876media

VIEW HERE

BROOKLYN The world mourns today as Shawn Carter, AKA Jay Z, was found dead inside at the young age of 43.

While the official cause of death is still being investigated by Rap Genius editors and urban studies Ph.D.s, many have speculated that Jay Z killed himself inside.

One minute he was doing great, producing lyrical dynamite full of incisive social commentary and witticisms, remembers Christopher Wallace, AKA The Notorious B.I.G, whose soul remains alive despite his death in 1997.

The next, he was an empty suit, laying face-down in a puddle of champagne and corporate sponsorships.

Picasso Brooklyn Nets Rothko Barclays Bugatti Samsung, said Jay Z in catatonia above a snare drum and Justin Timberlake accompaniment. MoMA MoMA Upper West Side.

Carter was born December 4, 1969 in Brooklyn, which has also lost its unique soul and sound. The borough is survived by low-rise condominiums, secondhand plaid shirt retailers, and beards.

Jay Z is survived by his wife Beyoncé Knowles and his daughter Blue Ivy, who will never have the opportunity to live a fulfilling and invigorating life of successful crack dealing and will ultimately end up majoring in English at NYU before dying inside at 21.

A funeral will be held at the Barclays Center next week. Jay Z will perform tracks off Magna Carta Holy Grail from his open casket, which is sponsored by Samsung.

 

http://therapinsider.com/2013/11/06/rapper-jay-z-found-dead-inside-at-43/

funny man

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LGEiIL1__s&feature=youtube_gdata_player

DJ KWIZZ DREAM SEH HIM SHOT DI BISHOP

-- Edited by GA on Saturday 24th of July 2021 11:03:53 PM

A man recieved Light Bill from JPS for $1.7 Million. skip the ad and watch
http://adf.ly/MW3g8 

http://stupidknews.com/2013/02/28/5th-grader-brought-pot-school-prevent-dad-smoking/

THE FOLLOWING IS A DOCUMENT MY CLIENT MODO ASKED ME TO DRAW UP AND HAND TO MS. GIFTED HOTNESS. MY CLIENT AND I REQUEST YOUR SIGNATURE BEFORE ANY MARRIAGE PROCEEDINGS COMMENCE.


PRENUPTUAL AGREEMENT


Please sign,
I, THE UNDERSIGNED, AGREE THAT...

1. In the unlikely event of my not having an orgasm after youve drunkenly rolled on top of me and pumped away for five minutes, wheezing like an old man with emphysema, I shall politely fake one.

2. I fully understand that a womans main role in any relationship is to take the blame. So when you stub your toe in the bathroom or your football team lose, I agree that - by some complex scientific equation incomprehensible to woman - it will be my fault. Even if I wasnt there.

3. Whenever my friends and I get together for a girlie chat, I will tell them that you are better hung than a large-balled Himalayan yak.

4. And I will also mention this to YOUR friends. A lot.

5. After sex, I will not expect you to cuddle me for hours till your arm goes dead. Nor will let my hair annoyingly get in your face.

6. I will never, ever give your penis a "cute" nickname.

7. In bed, I will be as keen as mustard to try any novel sexual position you fancy. Especially ones where I do all the work and you just lie there, grinning.

8. After we split up, I will never sleep with any of your friends or colleagues. Or anyone else you have ever met. Or may one day meet. And if men attempt to chat me up, I will solemnly inform them that you have "ruined me for other men".

9. I understand that mechanical objects like cars, computer games, and remote control devices are beyond the comprehension of women. I will only make a fool of myself if I attempt to operate them, so youre in charge of the lot. Except for the iron and the washing machine, of course.

10. Should the marriage not suffice, any clothes, jewelery, posts, money that i enter with those and only those shall i part with.

Signed ____________________________________

Date ______________________________________

-- Edited by Diva Appz (Mzja Dj) on Monday 6th of September 2010 01:40:50 PM

 So DJ USTREAM PEGGY gi mark watson new name DJ DINOSAUR

WHO IS THE MOST HATED DJ ON MEDIIAZONE?

man dem seh a game dem call USTREAM PEGGY cause him cyaan gi the Ustream a break....

-- Edited by SVG on Wednesday 13th of March 2013 12:07:40 AM

1. If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole? 2. I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag. 3. If it's true that we are what we eat, I could be you by morning! 4. How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized? 5. I was about to go masturbate and I needed a name to go with your face. 6. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like spaghetti. Let's go f**k. 7. Is that a keg in your pants? 'Cause I would love to tap that ass! 8. If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could I meet you between the holidays? 9. You remind me of a Championship bass, I don't know whether to mount you or eat you! 10. Your parents must be retarded, because you are special. 11. Could I touch your belly button. . . . from the inside? 12. I'm not too good at algebra, but doesn't U+I=3D 69? 13. How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open, and I'll put my head in.

 

 

There once was a guy named Dave,
Who dug up a whore from a grave.
She was moldy and shitty,
And only had one titty
But look at the money he saved!

here is a parody of Sting 2012

 

 

-- Edited by SVG on Thursday 27th of December 2012 11:40:43 PM

BUT THIS ONE HERE LUUUuuuuUUUU out man

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
 

 In cinemas this Fall 

-- Edited by SVG on Thursday 27th of December 2012 10:30:31 PM

                    

                           Link My Fan Page

check out di clothes an di colors....NO SAHH!! not me

The priest in a small Irish village loved his chickens that he kept in the coop behind the church.

One Sunday morning before mass, he went to feed the birds and discovered that the cock was missing.

He knew about the cock fights in the village, so he decided to question his parishioners in church.

During mass, he asked his congregation, 'Has anybody got a cock?' All the men stood up.

'No, no, that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?' All the women stood up.

'No, no, that wasn't what I meant either. Has anybody seen a cock that doesn't belong to them?' Half the women stood up !

'No, no, no, that wasn't what I meant. What I really really mean is,
has anybody seen MY cock?' Sixteen altar boys, two priests and a goat stood up!